The Edge of Winter
by x Varda x
Summary: Jennifer’s actions during an offworld medical crisis lead to Atlantis being gifted with a most valuable object. Rodney is grateful, but when disaster strikes, they both end up fighting to survive on a hostile ice world. Preship McKeller with McKay whump
1. The Gift

_**Disclaimer**__ – I own nothing but an overactive and demanding muse… alas, __"Stargate" and all related characters are the property of MGM Television Entertainment.  
__**Rating**__ – T  
__**Summary**__ - Jennifer's actions during an offworld medical crisis lead to Atlantis being gifted with a most valuable object. Rodney is grateful to her, but when disaster strikes, they both end up fighting to survive on a hostile ice world.  
__**Acknowledgments**__ – All the McKellerites on GateWorld and especially ykickamoocow for the whole 'ice world' idea. I've had the title of this fic in my head since September last year. It's nice to finally have a story to attach to it!  
__**Setting**__ – Season 5, before 'The Shrine'_

* * *

**_Chapter One – The Gift_**

Rodney sat in the main science lab examining an extremely complex schematic. He rubbed his forehead tiredly and glanced around the room with unfocused eyes for a brief moment before he returned to the problem which had been annoying him.

He was trying to conserve power from the ZPM while also increasing efficiency of the power crystal recharging device they had been using since they arrived on Atlantis. The power crystals were an integral part of just about everything in the city, from the Puddle Jumpers to the water heaters they used in the mess hall for coffee. The Naquadah generators had filled in the power gaps nicely when they were without a ZPM, but Rodney had always returned to the same problem week in, week out since they had arrived on Atlantis. He hoped that coming from a fresh and less exhausted angle would one day bring the sudden flash of brilliance he needed.

He looked at the diagrams scrolling up the screen and rolled his eyes as he willed himself to continue looking for the solution in the almost incomprehensible text.

He sighed and resolved to give up again for now. The more he worked at it, the more irritated it made him.

He instead moved his attention onto the more pressing matter of the power consumption level in Lab Three. At the rate they were going, the ZPM would be drained in a week. Maybe he should start rationing the energy siphoned from the carefully controlled quantum singularity inside the device? The scientists assigned to Lab Three would use up their quota in a few hours and end up having to work with candles for the next month!

His radio suddenly blared in his ear and shook him out of his plotting. _"Dr McKay to the control room."_

Rodney huffed in annoyance at the interruption and tapped his headset, "I'm busy. Can't you call someone else?" His tone was clipped, courtesy of the exasperated fury still boiling close to his surface at not being able to figure out the solution to the vexing problem yet again. But the Ancients had been a pretty clever bunch and he probably should not have even thought for a second he could ever find the answer. But he had to at least try and his arrogance told him that he could eventually best them if he tried hard enough.

The Gate Tech said evenly, _"Dr Keller and her medical team just reported back from Nadath."_

"A medical mission?" He folded his arms over his chest even though the man on the other end of the line could not see him. "What's that got to do with me?"

There was a slight pause and Rodney frowned. _"Dr Keller asked for you specifically. They will be returning through the gate in a few minutes. She wants to meet you in the gate room when they get back."_

_Oh!_ Rodney thought. He stood up quickly and slammed his laptop closed with a little more force than was necessary in his haste. "I'll be right up." He had to restrain himself not to run. _What does Jennifer want to see _me_ for?_ He asked himself. _Must be important_.

* * *

Rodney entered the gate room just as the stargate activated. A marine gestured for him to wait behind the row of guards stationed around the room. The marine pointed his P90 at the shield and the Gate Tech high above in the control room called out, "Receiving Dr Keller's IDC. Lowering the shield."

Rodney watched in anticipation as the film of energy in front of the large ring disappeared and the wormhole rippled without disruption. His fingers were cramping and he realised that he had his fists tightly clenched and he was digging his nails into the palms. He took a couple of deep breaths and urged himself to relax. They had probably only found what they thought was a strange reading. It would then lead him to discover another scientifically useless bath house or bird catching device. Just like the week before when another team had come back with an 'exciting reading.' It had happened countless times before and would happen again and again. There was no need for him to get so worked up about it but he could not help it.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped as he told himself it was going to be nothing at all. But at least he would be able to speak with Jennifer for a moment about something he hopefully knew something about without the awkwardness. He always got attacked by feelings of social ineptitude and unworthiness whenever he tried and failed spectacularly to make small talk with her and his speech stuttered in nervousness and came grinding to an embarrassing halt.

Despite his best efforts to steel his emotions, as he stood there and waited impatiently, his heart still leapt up into his throat when Jennifer came through the gate. The marines backed away and lowered their guns. The one who had blocked Rodney indicated that it was clear when he remained rooted to the spot.

Jennifer had her medical rucksack on her back and another large holdall clutched in her right hand. Several doctors came through behind her along with a squad of marines who had been assigned to escort and protect.

Rodney frowned. Jennifer's eyes tracked around the room. She looked up to the control room and nodded and then continued to glance around. When she spotted Rodney, she immediately came over to him. He widened his eyes as she approached and he swallowed in what he was sure had been an audible gulp.

He finally got back the motor controls and function of his legs and was able to walk again. He met her in the middle of the gate room and she put the holdall down on the ground.

He said, "You wanted to see me?"

Jennifer smiled, "Definitely."

It seemed that everyone in the gate room was still and it was totally silent. Rodney felt the tension in the air and frowned in confusion as he looked at the people surrounding him. The marines were relaxed and the medical team had made no move to take all their equipment back to the infirmary or clear the room.

Every pair of eyes was fixed on Jennifer as she crouched down and slowly unzipped the holdall with the same degree of reverence Rodney himself held for manipulating the most intricate and interesting devices he found.

Jennifer's smile turned into a grin and Rodney felt a bubble of happiness forming in his chest at her expression and how her face was lit with a warm and intensely beautiful glow. He wondered what would happen to him if she were to ever direct a look like that in his direction. He found himself smiling at the thought, but his reaction was missed by everyone due to the distraction of Jennifer, who now had the holdall unzipped.

She placed her hands inside and drew something out.

Rodney heart skipped a beat and began pounding fitfully in his ribcage the moment he saw what she had brought back from the planet. He nearly collapsed as she shifted her gaze from the object and onto his face as she straightened up. He was unsure whether he was more overwhelmed by her expression and the attention she was giving him, as she scrutinised his reaction, or the object she held out to him.

Rodney blinked and looked down at the yellow stained glass ZPM, which was small, but held so much promise. "Where did you...? How did you...?" He stuttered.

Jennifer's grin broadened at his speech. "Do you want me to keep hold of it for now?"

"No no!" She held it out and Rodney's hands brushed against hers as she passed it to him. His excitement level shot up even further and it felt like he was going to explode. "Someone get me a scanner!" he called out to the whole room in a quivering voice. His whole body was trembling with unsuppressed jitters and he felt butterflies flapping wildly in his stomach.

Mr Woolsey had come down the stairs and was now standing with the group. Rodney was too awed as his attention was torn between the beauty of the blonde doctor in front of him and the phenomenal Ancient power source clutched tightly in his hands.

A voice announced, "Scanner." Rodney could not look to see who it was as his eyes flitted between the ZPM and Jennifer, but it sounded like Radek.

He was about to hold out his hand when another figure entered the corner of his eye and pried the ZPM from his sweaty and weak-fingered grip. He looked up in shock and Sheppard was gurning back at him in a dim reflection of the way he was feeling inside.

As he took the device away from Rodney, John said, "Hey, butterfingers, I'd better take that before you drop it."

Rodney felt a flickering hint of indignation and jealousy in his chest, but it was quickly destroyed by his eagerness to find out how much, if any, power was left in the object. His eyes briefly looked around at the growing crowd and he spotted Teyla and Ronon in there along with a few more scientists and marines who had happened to be passing through and were watching the scene unfold.

As he reconfigured the scanner, a thought suddenly crossed Rodney's mind; maybe all the build up and excitement was about to be broken. What if there was nothing left in the ZPM? His heart would be crushed and broken, and then to further twist the knife of sadness jabbed into him, he would have to announce it to all the gathered people. He could already see their disappointed faces peering back at him and all those emotions would be sent his way for being the one to destroy their hopes and happiness.

The scanner slipped a little in his slick grip and he was grateful that Sheppard was holding the ZPM for him. He would have hated to have been the one to drop the thing, especially right in front of Jennifer like that. Even though it was virtually indestructible, he would probably chip it and he would never live it down.

Mr Woolsey shifted impatiently and Rodney gritted his teeth and willed himself to work faster. Radek was next to him, holding a tablet. The Czech was tapping away on the screen at a blinding rate and pulled a cable out and passed it to Rodney. McKay took the proffered lead without question and automatically plugged it into the scanner. His hands started to shake as he held the scanner out towards the ZPM.

It seemed like everyone in the room was holding their breath. Rodney closed his mouth and sealed his throat behind his nose so that no air could reach him as he waited for the results of the scan to be processed.

After a few seconds he exhaled and said in breathily, "It can't be…"

Radek raised his eyebrows, "I think it might be."

"Really?"

Radek nodded, "Well, the readings prove it."

Sheppard frowned between them at the agreement the scientists had just shared with each other silently, but no one else. "What is it?"

Radek quickly grabbed the scanner from Rodney's hand as he started to wave his hands about in a dangerous way and Rodney enthused, "According to this, it's fully charged!" He looked down briefly and muttered, "Obviously we'll need to double check to make sure." His head snapped back up and he took in the whole room, where people were craning their necks to see over the tops of the gathered crowd and find out what the fuss was about.

Rodney's mouth lifted up and down a few times, like a fish gasping for air, as he lost his words.

Radek filled in for him. His voice wavered, but he was a lot calmer than Rodney. "We had a theory that the Ancients deposited ZPMs throughout the Pegasus and the Milky Way galaxies as an insurance against them running out of power. It would be unwise to store them all in the same place as that would draw the Wraith if they ever found out. Clues would be left in case the locations were forgotten."

John grinned, "Like a treasure hunt?"

Radek nodded, "In a way."

Rodney suddenly found his voice again as he squeaked, "Fully charged!" Jennifer caught his eye again, because she was not looking at the ZPM like everyone else. She was looking at _him_. It made his face fall in curiosity. Why was he so interesting when the precious ZPM should have been the centre of everyone's attention, especially a fully charged one?

She raised her eyebrows at his expression as if to say, "Well, you're looking at me too."

Rodney shook his head to clear it a little and then looked back at the device again as he continued for Radek, "That's the only explanation for finding it. If no power has been used at all, we've essentially got a power source that could last for years even with extensive usage."

Ronon grunted as he finished and said, "Hey, this is a big deal. Why don't we have some kind of celebration?"

Rodney shot him a disbelieving look and quickly said, "There isn't time! I have hundreds of experiments to prepare now that we have the extra power. Not to mention the reconfiguring of the entire power network required to compensate for the sudden addition of another…"

"McKay!" John all but shouted to cut him off.

Rodney's hands stopped mid swing and he looked at Sheppard. Several people laughed, but Rodney was too tightly wound to notice.

John was giving him a warning glare and then his eyes imperceptibly flicked to Dr Keller. Rodney thought he may have imagined it, but his intellect worked furiously fast, in his favour for once, and his mouth opened. He whispered "Oh!" as he realised. He looked at Jennifer and his heart clenched painfully when he saw that she was wearing a slightly hurt expression as she gazed down at the floor instead of at him. He quickly said, "A party! That sounds like a great idea," more to her than to Ronon.

Jennifer lifted her head and her eyes danced in happiness as she looked at him.

Teyla asked, "So, how did you obtain the ZPM, Dr Keller?"

Jennifer turned to look at her medical team and they smiled back at her. "We cured the strain of flu that's been ravaging the Nadathan population for centuries. They showed us a room full of trinkets and devices they had and I saw the ZPM. I told them I knew someone who could find a use for it."

Rodney nodded, "You got that right."

"They gave it to us. They said someone had tripped over it after ploughing a field a few years ago. They thought it looked nice, but had no idea what it actually was nor had any use for it."

Rodney's eyes widened, "They've got more?"

Jennifer laughed a little, "No more ZPMs, I'm afraid. They wanted to give us more things, but I said the ZPM would do fine."

Rodney looked at Mr Woolsey, "We have to send another team back to look at the rest of those devices!"

He nodded and said, "I'll schedule it in. But don't you have some of your own work to do?"

"Yes." Rodney beamed at Jennifer and then turned to John. "Okay, let's get this down to the labs."

The crowd disbursed and Rodney was too distracted by his animated and rapid conversation with Radek to notice what was going on around him as his feet took him on autopilot to the transporter and down to the lab.

* * *

_TBC_

_Party! Party! Party! Yay…?_


	2. The Party

**_Chapter Two – The Party_**

Jennifer found that she was absolutely exhausted after all the time she had spent with the Nadathans over the past few weeks. It had taken a long time to treat those who were suffering from the flu and find the right drug to successfully inoculate the rest of the population.

She was not really in the mood for a big party only a few hours after returning, but was curious as to exactly what Rodney was going to do and say to her about the ZPM she had brought back.

She tabbed to another page of data on the laptop in her lab where she was sitting hunched over. She was catching up on what she had missed while being offworld. It was all fairly standard, so her eyes tracked across the lines. While the medical part of her brain digested and checked the information, the rest of her mind wandered.

She glanced at her watch. Ronon had called her a few hours ago that the party was starting at 7 o'clock. She sighed. It was half past six. She supposed she had better go and get ready. She still had time to have a quick shower and then try to do something with her hair in an effort to draw attention away from the weariness on her face. The unruly strands were flowing all over the place and seemed to be about as tired as she felt. She had drawn them back into a tight ponytail to hide it, but she knew it was a mess and did not want the others, especially Rodney, to see her that way.

She blinked slowly and then made her decision to leave. She shut down her computer and then stood up and stretched. She acknowledged the doctor on duty as she walked out of the lab, and then wandered through the corridors back to her quarters.

* * *

Jennifer was greeted by a lot of excited chattering the moment she stepped out of the transporter close to the ZPM room. She had only been down there once before, on her initial tour of Atlantis just after she had first arrived. It was the territory of the science department, so she had not been there since. Nor had she any need to go there. She tried not to smirk as she envisioned getting caught by Rodney McKay in the room as she explored on her own. She could imagine his anger at her and then trying to explain to him what she was doing down there and that she was not really trying to sabotage the power supply.

The first ZPM she had seen had been a blink and you'll miss it glimpse of the top of the installed ZPM on her tour. That had been just before she had been overwhelmed with more pressing issues in the wake of the Replicator attack on Atlantis which had seriously injured so many people after the beam struck the tower.

The one she had been given by the Nadathans was the first time she had actually held one of the deceptively small objects in her hands. The pattern of the glass astounded her in its beauty and she knew that she wanted to find as many as possible just so that she could admire the intricate design. She did not understand the power concealed inside and would have been quite content to place one in a glass cabinet so that she could just to stand back and look at the object on its own without using the energy hidden inside.

She had always been curious about the ZPMs and had wanted to examine the power storage the Ancients had created. The single ZPM they had was spoken of in hushed whispers and reverence by the whole science department like it was the Holy Grail and the answer to everything. They seemed to be on a constant quest for more and every rumour or power reading was always followed up with hopefulness and determination, even though they usually found nothing.

She smiled as she entered the room and saw that there was a table in the corner with glasses of champagne. There was a second, larger table, with plates of food laid out in an impromptu buffet hastily put together by the staff in the mess hall. Jennifer looked around at the gathered people in the small room. It looked like quite a carefully chosen select group. She saw Ronon, Teyla and Sheppard. Mr Woolsey was talking quietly with Dr Zelenka and the medical team she had worked with were there.

Suddenly her sight was blocked by a man shifting nervously on his heels. She glanced up and met Rodney's eyes and he smiled at her. He reached forwards and grabbed her hands. She could feel small trembles running through his hands and held him tightly to channel support into him. She allowed him to lift her arms and pull her across to the middle of the room, next to the block housing the ZPM.

He called out, "Now that the woman of the hour is here, we should get started."

He was positively bouncing in enthusiasm and it was slightly unnerving whilst being terribly infectious. He pretended and complained about being unfit and Jennifer had teased him before about his medical examinations, but he had been running high on his energy for hours now and she was astounded he was still going at such a rate. She dreaded to think how much coffee he must have consumed, but did not put it beyond him for the reaction to be totally natural and borne of his own intoxicating and constant adrenaline buzz.

Jennifer looked at the block and realised that there was still only one ZPM in place. She glanced at Rodney and he nodded. He lowered his voice to speak to her, but everyone was now quiet and watching them. "Thought we should wait for the party to install it. We spent all afternoon readying Atlantis for the new ZedPM."

He sighed and his face fell just for a second which she did not miss. And in that brief moment she realised that he looked exhausted. The constant energy must be wearing him out and she had no idea how much work it had been to get the systems ready.

She saw a slight glint of mania in his eyes when he looked at her, despite the lines of tiredness marring his face. His body language showed that his entire being was shot through with boundless passion as he stood there. He let go of Jennifer's hands so that he could wave his about and everyone turned their attention to him.

Ronon came over and handed Jennifer a glass of champagne. John stood nearby and held two. Jennifer raised her eyebrows at him and he smiled back mischievously. Jennifer hoped one of the glasses was for Rodney and he had not suddenly decided to become an alcoholic.

Rodney's unsuppressed liveliness was ramping up to a point of being out of control and went up further, if that was even possible, as Zelenka handed him the ZPM from the case they had had it secured in. But Jennifer already knew that he wore all his emotions for everyone to see and his face always showed the truth about what he was feeling. Rodney was really worked up and wound up tightly about the ZPM. Jennifer considered offering him a tranquilliser to try and calm him down a bit, but she laughed inwardly as she tossed the unspoken comment aside.

Rodney looked at Zelenka for reassurance and he nodded as he glanced down at the tablet he was holding and said, "It is ready."

Rodney turned and placed the ZPM into the housing and stepped back with an elegant flourish of his hands which made Jennifer smile. It was like he was partaking in a rehearsed ritual of worship at the altar of the ZPM with all its associated niceties and crucial sequences. She would not have thought it strange if there had been a soundtrack of atmospheric chanting and hooded figures gathered around, the air was so thick with tension.

The ZPM lit up in a dazzling and eye-catching glow, which illuminated its glory in a dozen different shades of yellow and orange and made it all the more alluring. It then slowly lowered down into the block until only the top was visible. Jennifer felt slightly sad that she could no longer see it.

Rodney turned around and snatched the tablet out of Radek's hands. The Czech stood there looking at his empty grip, and then sighed, pushed his glasses up his nose and joined everyone else in the room as they watched Rodney in anticipation.

After a few seconds and a lot of rapid finger work which made Jennifer go slightly cross eyed when she tried to watch it, Rodney stopped and looked up. He said, "Power levels are holding!" It looked like his emotions were getting the better of him and his eyes became glassy with joy, "It's a complete success!"

Jennifer found that she was unable to stop herself being swept along by the emotions radiating from Rodney where they flowed out of him and were absorbed by everyone else in the room as he beamed at them and his blue eyes shone brightly.

Jennifer thought that Rodney's full blown freak out earlier had been an anomaly, but now it was looking like he had not been out of line and neither had it been the peak of the level of excitement of which he was capable. His face was flushed and red and she made a mental note to keep an eye on his blood pressure next time he popped into the infirmary to have a splinter removed or a paper cut disinfected and bandaged.

People started clapping and Jennifer joined in. She looked around and caught Rodney staring at her. Above the noise of the clapping he muttered into her ear, "I'm so happy I could…" he leant in and gave her a swift peck on the cheek.

A few people whistled and laughed as the clapping gradually died down. Jennifer felt her face glowing with embarrassment after the kiss and Rodney stood in front of her and watched her nervously as he wrung his hands together. Rodney's face was already deeply flushed, but it changed colour once more and went bright red. His eyes widened in anxiety as he looked at her to see her reaction, it was like he had not been in control of his actions and the kiss had been an instinctual or involuntary thing.

She found solace in Rodney's shyness, whenever he became the man beneath all the bluster and the inescapable loneliness of his incredible intelligence. He was always looking for acceptance from everyone and seemed to single Jennifer out above all others. It made him all the more endearing to her. She felt a jolt in her stomach region as he furrowed his brow and his face fell. She had to make a quick response to stop him from falling into despair and sadness at her lack of reciprocal reaction. She smiled at him as coyly as she could and his face softened in relief.

He looked around at the gathered crowd and then pointedly at Sheppard. John moved up and passed the glass of champagne into Rodney's free hand. Rodney lifted the glass in the air and then announced, "A toast; to Jennifer Keller and her medical team! Who may just have saved all of our lives at some point in the future!"

Glasses chinked together and people began to mingle. Jennifer drew away from Rodney and went over to speak with her colleagues. She grabbed some food from the table and was careful not to drink too much as she was fairly certain the effects of the alcohol would be intensified by her tiredness.

After a while, her eyes tracked around the room and she spotted Rodney standing by himself. He was looking awkward and out of place where he stood near the food table. A full glass of champagne and an untouched plate of food were lying forgotten on the table next to him. He shifted from foot to foot and his eyes darted across the screen of the tablet he was still holding. He occasionally looked up like he was scoping out an exit or trying to find an excuse to leave and go and shut himself up in the lab to study some dull schematic or another.

His eyes suddenly met Jennifer's and he quickly averted his gaze and looked down at the screen again. It had only taken him a few minutes to become totally withdrawn into his shell and she knew that coming down from his excited high was probably feeling like a sugar crash from hell.

She strolled over to him nonchalantly and stood next to him so that she could look out across the room and see what he was seeing from the vantage point he had chosen. Where his hands had been tapping the screen, she saw them slow down and then still completely as he lost his concentration, but he had not acknowledged her yet.

A mischievous and slightly cruel plan formed in Jennifer's mind to make him come back to his senses. She gestured around the room and said offhand, "I don't understand what all the fuss is about. I think it was a bit on an anti-climax. You put the ZPM in the machine and all I could think was, 'Is that it?'"

Rodney huffed in irritation and then tutted.

Jennifer smirked and carried on, "I would've thought there would be some kind of display or explosion or chime… or _something_."

Rodney slammed his tablet down onto the table and all the people nearby became silent and turned to watch what was going on. He grabbed Jennifer's shoulders and steered her over to the ZPM. "Don't… Don't understand!" he spluttered, "Look."

Jennifer looked, but shrugged and turned to him. "I just don't see it." She had a struggle keeping a straight face, but at least Rodney was talking to her and not mumbling or stuttering nervously.

He ranted, "It may just seem like a glorified battery or a piece of shiny orange stained glass to you; but this is what we always need. It's the ability to fly Atlantis in space and use the hyperdrive." He let go of her and gestured widely with his arms as he continued with his enthusiasm back in full flow, "It's a shield or a cloak against the Wraith. It's safety and security for everyone on Atlantis. It's the ability to run experiments we couldn't do before because they needed too much power. It's… it's…" He flapped his hands as his speech floundered and he finally forced out, "It's _everything_!"

"Oh, okay," Jennifer said flatly, while in her mind she continued, "Whoa whoa slow down! I get it!"

John came sauntering over and said, "I hope you're behaving, I don't want to have to separate you two."

Rodney sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead.

John looked between them and Jennifer saw the mirth in John's gaze and it puzzled her. He turned to Rodney and said, "You know, Rodney, if you don't want to be here, you could always clock up a couple more hours in a Puddle Jumper. Your flying's getting a little sloppy lately."

Rodney frowned in confusion, "A Puddle Jumper? But I've got so much work to do now that the second ZedPM's online! That really is the last thing I would ever think of doing right now."

John raised his eyebrows and dropped a massive hint as his eyes shifted from Rodney's exasperated face onto Jennifer. She had already got it, but it was still entertaining to watch the cogs turning in Rodney mind.

John waited until realisation dawned and then nodded, his work complete, and said, "I'll see you later," before walking away to join Teyla and Ronon again.

Jennifer furrowed her brow at Rodney and angled her head towards Sheppard's retreating back as she feigned ignorance and said, "I don't know what that was about."

Rodney reached across and took her hand. He said, "You clearly don't know how important the ZedPM is to the city, for us and for me. But I can _show_ you."

Jennifer smiled and squeezed his warm and slightly sweaty hand. He quickly looked away and broke the grip as he went back to his old way of nervous stuttering, "Of course, only if you want to… it would look good at night to see all the lights, which is what you thought should've happened."

Jennifer leant forwards and claimed his hand in her own again. She held on and he looked up at her with hopefulness in his eyes. She smiled and shook his hand as she said, "I'd love to."

Rodney beamed back at her and then raised his eyebrows, "Right now?"

"Sure, why not?"

Rodney shrugged and Jennifer put her champagne glass down before they left the room together. She saw John give her a reassuring nod and knowing smile and she grinned back at him in gratitude that he had coerced Rodney in such a subtle way.

_

* * *

_

_A/N – How romantic…_


	3. The Snowflake

**_Chapter 3 – The Snowflake_**

Rodney was annoyed.

He had been very busy working on setting up an experiment on his computer to utilise the second ZPM, when Jennifer had come over and interrupted him. He knew he should probably have been mingling and trying to make irrelevant and pointless conversation with the other people in the room, but he was not exactly a social butterfly and if he did try, his only words would be short to the point of abruptness.

He found it hard to get along with people outside of work and small talk was not a pursuit that had ever interested him or been necessary.

He had tried to ignore Jennifer as she stood next to him, but she was too much and he lost his concentration. Was she looking at him? Why was she standing there like that?

And then she had made that stupid remark about the ZPM! Maybe he would have to avoid her from now on if she really was that unintelligent. He sincerely hoped she was only teasing him, as she was wont to do sometimes, as he had no desire to let her go or stop interacting with her altogether because of that single comment.

Being around and speaking with her gave him a special feeling in his chest, even though the same feeling always spread up to his vocal chords and went so far as to invade the part of his brain used to process coherent speech. It wrapped itself around him in a binding cocoon until he sounded like a stuttering, gibbering idiot.

Sheppard planted a seed in his mind for how he could get out of the party with Jennifer and he grabbed it.

* * *

Rodney led Jennifer through the exit of the ZPM room and out into the night-darkened corridors of Atlantis as they made their way to the nearest transporter. The moment they left the room, he quickly shook his hand free of hers, as the warm grip was doing strange things to his insides and he knew he was too tired to fight away the nervousness it caused. She did not press the matter or make any comment, but walked silently by his side.

He was already totally hyper and excitable as his body was still running high on caffeine, barely controlled tiredness and Jennifer's mind numbing, panic inducing proximity.

He had not bothered to get changed out of his uniform for the party as he had had no intention of staying for longer than it took to install the ZPM and make sure it was working properly. He was glad that Jennifer had decided not to either.

He gave her a sidelong glance and she smiled back at him and nodded reassuringly. Rodney swallowed and furrowed his brow as he faced forwards again. What was he supposed to say to her? What was he going to do alone with her in the Puddle Jumper? He was a man who could not find a topic of conversation beyond his work without tripping over his own words like they were boulders strewn in his path with the only intention to make his life miserable and difficult.

He thought it over in his mind as they neared the transporter and stepped inside.

* * *

Rodney flew Jennifer around the city a couple of times in the Puddle Jumper. He always made sure the ship was angled so that they could both see the magnificent reflections of the lights in the calm and still water out of the windscreen. Each tower was shining as a beacon and tiny pinpoints of light formed and flowed together as they undulated past the windscreen with each new direction Rodney flew the tiny vessel.

After the second pass, Rodney turned to the woman next to him and said in great confidence, "So, Jennifer, behold the city of the Ancients! Look at all those magnificent lights! And it's all because of what you did! How can I ever repay you?"

Jennifer was not looking out of the window, but gazing into his eyes with great interest. She cooed back at him, "It's beautiful! Thank you so much for bringing me, Rodney!"

He pulled out all the stops in the patented Rodney McKay charm offensive and she was powerless to resist him. He tossed his head back and grinned at her suavely. He quickly set the Jumper to hover facing the glowing pillars of light several miles away and then drew her across and held onto her tightly as he said smoothly, "Jennifer Keller, I know the perfect way to thank you!"

She grinned and leant forward even more before he could initialise his own movement. She said, "As do I."

Their lips came together in blood boiling heat and desire. Jennifer ran her hands up his back and into his thick, faint-inducingly stylised hair as they embraced tightly. Rodney felt shivers running down his strong, muscular legs as his nostrils were filled with the sweet smell of…

* * *

"Rodney? Rodney!"

"Hmm, what?"

"Are you coming?"

"Oh!" Rodney shook himself out of the after effects of his fantasy and his eyes darted across to Jennifer. She was standing by the open door of the waiting Puddle Jumper with her arms folded across her chest and her lips forced out into a pout. He knew she probably had no idea she was doing it and he rubbed his hands together and looked away from her dazzling and terrifying gaze in fright.

Rodney was a human being, so of course he was bound to think of and hope that things would happen just like in his fantasy. But deep down, Rodney was only a man, and he sometimes lost sight of that in how hard he pushed the boundaries of his intelligence. He had always forced himself to work, in an attempt to try and alleviate his own feelings of social inadequacy when it came to members of the opposite sex.

He wanted to be seen as sexually appealing to gorgeous women. He so desperately wanted the traits he lacked; over brimming self confidence and irresistible masculinity. He wanted nothing more than to be humorous and easy to get along with, overly pleasant and a joy to be around. But sadly, he knew he was failing in all respects and lacked every trait required by the high estimation of the unreachable pedestal of perfection he had created over the years. He hated that he was so intelligent when it came to technology, but he really had no clue about women. Sure, he could install ZPMs and reconfigure mind boggling power flows that lesser mortals could never hope to comprehend, but his skills in technology came at a cost to his all but absent social graces.

He looked up after he had calmed down a little and Jennifer was still watching him. He wanted to know what she was thinking as her eyes seemed to be piercing him and trying to see the inner workings of his mind. He put it down to her being a doctor and how it was her job to repair the injured and diagnose problems in unresponsive people.

He started to become despondent as he stood there with Jennifer gauging and looking him over with her eyes. He tilted his head down and gazed at the floor miserably. He could never have her; that much he knew was true. She would never love him as more than a friend and verbal sparring partner, because he could not change the fundamental make up of who he was. He was not as strong and stoic as Ronon, he was not as fearless and determined as Teyla and he could never be as calm and collected in the face of danger as Sheppard. He was too nervous, too insecure, too short in stature, his eyes were not quite blue enough nor was his hair quite thick or long enough.

In all, he was just too human and _far_ too Rodney McKay.

He gathered up what little modicum of self respect he could salvage from the furthest recesses of his mind, as his thoughts railed against him, and used it to lift his head up. He gave Jennifer what he thought was his bravest and best winning smile, but his brow was still furrowed so he only looked sad.

Jennifer smiled at him gently and said, "Come on, Rodney. I think it'll be nice to see the city at night and I hardly ever get to go in a Puddle Jumper."

Rodney nodded and stuttered, "O-okay. Well, yes. Hmm."

"Oh, crap!" he thought. "Not really the best way to get into a woman's heart! Good going, McKay. Let's see if you can insult her too."

Jennifer rolled her eyes and shook her head as she grew impatient. She stepped inside the Jumper and left him out in the bay.

Rodney quickly steeled himself and followed her inside. He saw her enter the cockpit ahead and said, "Uh, the pilot's seat is on the left."

"I know, Rodney," Jennifer said evenly as she elegantly lowered herself into the co-pilot's chair.

Rodney shut his eyes and mentally kicked himself. Where the hell had that comment come from? She was going to think that he thought she was stupid!

In his haste to try and say something… _anything_ to her, he had already dug himself a very wide and deep trench, and he had only been alone with her for a couple of minutes.

He swallowed thickly and took a few faltering steps until he very clumsily and awkwardly sat down in the seat next to her. He tried to be confident, he _really_ did, but being alone with such an attractive woman nearby was screwing around with the only woman drawing traits of manliness he possessed.

He booted up all the Jumper's systems in his mind, thankful for the reprieve from his own thoughts, and shut the rear hatch.

He knew Jennifer was still staring at him. He could feel her eyes burrowing into the side of his head and his skin became warm and his throat went dry.

He turned around and opened his mouth when he saw that she was not looking at him after all. He shut his eyes and recited the first few digits of pi before he opened them again and activated the radio.

"Jumper Seven to Control Room. We're ready to go."

_"This is Control. You're cleared to go, Dr McKay."_

"Okay, good." Rodney clicked off the radio and gripped the control sticks tightly as he concentrated. He flew the Jumper unsteadily off the ground and wobbled it out of the bay. It did not help that his palms were sweaty and that he was feeling quite hot and flustered with the feeling that Jennifer was still looking at him and eyeing his every move as she weighed him up.

Jennifer leant over and Rodney flinched sideways away from her. She said, "Just relax, Rodney, or I'll have to take you back to the infirmary with me when we land and make sure you're not going to have a heart attack!"

Rodney released the breath he had not realised he had been holding in a heavy sigh and then guided the Jumper round in an uneven loop so that they could look back at the city.

His heart leapt in fright when there was a small gasp next to him. He turned to Jennifer and cried, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Jennifer laughed and glanced at him for a moment before looking out of the window once more as Rodney flew the Jumper in low over the sea and wove it between the towers.

Rodney briefly saw the reflection of the light in her face and shining eyes before he had to turn back to the front. The image of her amazed and awed expression imprinted on his mind even though he had only had a moment to see it. He smiled as he asked, "First time?"

Jennifer laughed again in delight and said, "Yes."

Rodney frowned and asked incredulously, "You're been on Atlantis for over a year now and you've never seen the city lit up at night?"

"Well, I've seen the lights from inside the city and from the balconies, but no-one's ever taken me out in a Jumper to have a look before."

Rodney felt his nervousness melting away as they spoke, when found that he was actually able to reply, despite his betraying mind fuelling thoughts earlier that he would become tongue-tied and they would spend the flight in uncomfortable and tense silence.

He flew the Jumper out over the sea and up a few miles into the sky for another pass at a different angle. His heart quickened in excitement over what her reaction would be this time, as he spun the Jumper around and a tiny bright orange snowflake floating upon the vast, dark ocean became visible out of the window.

Rodney chanced another glance across at Jennifer as he flew the Jumper closer to the city at a tantalisingly slow speed. She was staring out of the window with the same expression of wonder as a moment ago. She seemed to sense that Rodney was looking at her and turned to face him. She then directed an expression of heart bursting happiness that lit up her whole face in glee right at him.

It was the very same one that she had had while drawing the ZPM out of her bag in the gate room earlier and that he had hoped to one day receive. He tried to smile back, but her face was so astounding and his heart was pumping so furiously fast that it probably came across as more of a grimace.

Jennifer furrowed her brow in exasperation and then looked out of the window again. She asked, "Um, Rodney?"

"Yes?"

"Where's Atlantis gone?"

Rodney frowned and directed his mesmerized gaze away from her with great reluctance and out of the window once more. His heart fluttered in panic and then slowed when he saw that he had only flown the ship a little way off course while his mind had been otherwise engaged. He quickly corrected the angle and the city was much closer when it was once more in front of the windscreen.

The lights were actually on the same intensity as they always were and the second ZPM had not had any effect, but he was not going to tell Jennifer that and ruin the moment.

The city slowly grew in size as they approached, until it was filling the entire windscreen. Rodney was totally at ease and was really starting to enjoy Jennifer's company when she suddenly pointed out of the window and asked, "What's going on over there?"

Rodney looked where she was indicating and the HUD appeared a moment later when he thought about running a quick sensor sweep. He silently thanked the Ancients for the neural interface as a tricky scan began running, a scan that would have taken him several minutes to set up manually. He brought the Jumper to a hover and sighed inwardly that things were not going exactly as he had planned, but he knew that they could have been a lot worse.

He watched the flickering lights in the tower Jennifer had spotted while the scan ran its course. When it was done he frowned at the results and tapped the comm.

"McKay to Zelenka."

"_What is it, Rodney? I thought you were out in a Jumper?"_

News travelled fast it seemed. Rodney would have to have a quiet word with Sheppard about that or the rumours would fly out of control.

"Yes, I am." He sighed and asked, "Radek, who's playing around with the power distribution grid at this hour?"

"_No-one,"_ the other scientist answered quickly. _"The party ended a few minutes ago. We are all very tired after today, Rodney, so most people are off duty or asleep."_

"Alright. I'll go and check it out." He deactivated the comm and turned to Jennifer.

She was watching him curiously and asked, "What's going on?"

Rodney shook his head and sighed sadly, "I don't know yet. There's a point zero zero zero one variance in the power matrix distribution which is causing the minor fluctuation in the tower you saw. I can't tell what's doing it yet, it could just be a faulty relay or a broken circuit somewhere, but I'll need to go down to the ZedPM room to check and make sure it's still running properly."

Jennifer nodded and Rodney very reluctantly flew the Jumper down towards the black ocean and the underwater bay, which was much nearer to the ZPM room than landing it in the upper bay.

At least he still had Jennifer with him. It was probably nothing and they could carry on with their flight together after it was all sorted.

Rodney smiled smugly, whatever it was, he knew he would be able to fix it in record time without even breaking a sweat. He could then quickly get back to trying to woo Jennifer with his hidden charms; the ones that he knew were deeply buried inside him, even if he did have trouble drawing them out most of the time.

* * *

_A/N – So, it starts…_


	4. Bright Red Panic

_A/N - Wow! Thanks for all the reviews/alerts! I'm pleasantly surprised as I haven't physically hurt Rodney (yet)..._

**_Chapter 4 – Bright Red Panic_**

Jennifer held onto her seat as the Jumper approached the dark ocean. It was not that she did not trust Rodney's piloting skills, it was just the natural instinct ingrained deeply into her subconscious that humans should spend their lives above water. Any transportation that she had seen prior to coming to Atlantis had either been out in the open air, _or_ underwater, and nothing she had known had able to switch between the two.

She closed her eyes briefly as the craft splashed into the water. When she opened them again, she looked out of the windscreen through the HUD Rodney was using to guide the ship, but there was only darkness. She chanced a surreptitious glance at Rodney and she was glad to see that he was concentrating on flying, or rather, moving the Jumper through the water, instead of monitoring her every reaction. She sighed inwardly in relief and then smiled when she saw that the corner of his tongue was poking out of his mouth in concentration. She then gazed out of the window once more.

Rodney had now turned the Jumper's headlights on and they cut through the black, but they were only serving to illuminate countless tiny sea creatures into infinite numbers of minuscule white dots. They vanished from the glare as the ship approached and she imagined thousands of them silently smacking into the windscreen, while the luckier ones swirled and bobbed around the Jumper as it sliced past them. The microscopic animals pulled themselves through the water as though it was thick syrup and Jennifer wondered whether this planet had whales of the same kind she had heard about on Lantea who lived by eating the organisms.

The gloom seemed to close in around the Jumper even with the light beams piercing the suffocating darkness. Jennifer had to shift her eyes away after only a few seconds to stave off the hypnotic and lonely dance going on out of the window. Instead, she focused on the HUD Rodney was monitoring and using to pilot the Jumper.

Atlantis was on the display and she watched as the blip representing the Jumper flew deeper. It was so close to the base of the city he seemed to be almost skimming roof against the massive engines.

The headlights soon glanced off something much larger and brighter than the alien plankton and Jennifer's eye was once more drawn out of the window. Rodney flew the Jumper right underneath the central point at the base of the control tower and rose it up through the tunnel, which was an exact mirror of the Jumper Bay seemingly miles overhead and through the hundreds of floors and conduits.

She watched in wide eyed fascination as the Jumper, which was still underwater, entered the bay and the door underneath them closed on the HUD. Rodney guided it over in between two other Jumpers, which looked like they had seen better days, and landed it with little grace; diagonally across where Jennifer thought the parking space actually was.

The water started to drain and Rodney leapt out of his seat and jogged into the rear compartment. He quickly pulled down a tablet computer stowed in the netting near the ceiling and retrieved a hand scanner from the wall as he passed. Jennifer stood up and walked calmly over to him. As she approached, she saw that he was fidgeting and twitching impatiently. When his face turned sideways, she noticed that his skin had a fine sheen of sweat glistening upon it.

He muttered, "Come on, come on…" in a frantic mantra as his scanner holding hand hovered near the door release mechanism. His eyes darted to the front window behind him, where the water level was quickly lowering, but clearly not fast enough for him.

Jennifer folded her arms over her chest and when his eyes flicked over and past her again, she stood right in his field of vision and glared, as he seemed to have forgotten that he had company. Jennifer knew how important the ZPM was to Rodney and could relate to his frustration as she too had a passion for her work. But when something was going wrong in her job, did she ignore everyone else around her? She sure hoped not.

Rodney's eyes locked with hers briefly and his mouth hung open guiltily in a round 'o' of the latest 'on' in his constant stream of muttering. Jennifer raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to try and think of an excuse.

He sighed heavily and grimaced. "You should make your way back to the main part of the city. I don't know what's going on or how long it'll take to fix."

The water level finally reached the floor and Rodney tapped the button and the hatch lowered. It moved far too slowly for him so he stepped forward and practically started climbing the door before it had fully opened in his haste to get out.

Jennifer followed on his heels as he walked at a breakneck speed towards the ZPM room. She had to alternate jogging with trotting to keep up with him on her slightly shorter legs. She said breathily, "I'll stay if it's all the same to you. I'm sure you can fix it and then maybe you can take me up for an orbital pass?"

Rodney hummed, but Jennifer was unsure whether he was actually listening to her. She chalked it up to his personality and actually felt a small build up of pride and gladness in her heart. It took her completely unaware and rapidly overwhelmed the indignation from his disregard of her presence a moment ago. She knew that the new feelings she had stemmed from her gratitude that this man, whose broad back was just in front of her line of sight as he power walked along the corridor, was the one who so often saved them all. His dedication, focus and determination would continue to save their lives again and again, and without him they would be lost and probably Wraith food or Replicator burned debris countless times over by now. She therefore contented herself just to follow him and kept silent.

They soon reached the ZPM room and she discovered that Radek had been right. Everyone was gone. The tables and every sign to show that there had been a party had already been removed. There was still a faint aroma of food and wine lingering in the air, but the ventilation ducts were making short work of scrubbing it out of the atmosphere.

Rodney tapped his radio as his pace slowed down, "Radek. Feed the sensor readings and power distribution scans to the ZedPM room interface."

Jennifer stepped inside the room and leant on the wall while she waited. Rodney's hands flew across the screen of the tablet where he had rested it on the ZPM block and unceremoniously plugged it in.

She watched his expression as it shifted almost comically from frantic concern, to concentration, to realisation and then, most alarmingly, to blind panic.

Jennifer felt something tighten in her chest at what his face was showing and asked, "What is it?"

Rodney huffed, but his face did not alter.

"_Rodney?_" Jennifer pressed.

"What?!" he snapped, as his fingers stilled on the keyboard and his eyes turned to look at the top of the block where the ZPMs were housed. This made Jennifer's mild curiously switch into fear. Why had he stopped working? She saw barefaced horror in Rodney's features and it made her own heart jolt and speed up in fright.

"What's going on?"

"Lots of things! All of which are far to complex for me to explain in a way your small intellect can understand!"

"Try me, okay?" Jennifer had trouble restraining her anger. Her voice was blunt and it mirrored his rudeness as she spoke.

Rodney pursed his lips, but relented, "It's building towards a catastrophic overload. One of the crystals containing it must be cracked or missing or broken. Maybe they even used the wrong grade of material!"

Jennifer's heart had been beating rapidly in anticipation of what he was to say, but suddenly it started to palpitate until she thought it was going to burst out of her chest.

"This is just so typical!" Rodney cried with his voice cracking. He gestured wildly at the ZPM and continued, "I knew it was too good to be true!"

"You can stop the overload though, can't you?"

Rodney looked down at his tablet and tapped a few buttons. He sighed heavily and then turned towards Jennifer where she was still watching him. His voice was filled with such despair and sorrow, that Jennifer wanted to rush over and console him, but she remained glued to the wall she was leaning on and looked on helplessly as he called across the room to her, "Why does this always happen? Something so good is snatched away and I can't…" He looked away and down, "There isn't enough time. I don't think I'd be able to anyway even if there was." His voice lowered to a dejected and broken whisper as he closed his eyes tightly in anguish and said, "I can't fix this. I'm sorry."

Before Jennifer could ask anything else, Rodney's eyes flew open and he called across at her, "Help me."

Jennifer quickly complied and took the tablet, cable and scanner he thrust into her arms. Rodney pressed a large button on the Ancient console and the faulty ZPM rose up.

Jennifer was so shocked that she had to do a double take when she saw the ZPM. Instead of the wondrous and mesmerising yellow glow of earlier, it was now burning red. It was so blindingly bright that Jennifer could only glance at it for a fraction of a second before the pain in her eyes made her look away. Rodney also closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. He swiftly unzipped and pulled his jacket off and threw it over to hide the harsh glare of the device as best he could. He then reached forward and grabbed the diseased ZPM and pulled it carefully from the slot.

He held it at arm's length, and walked from the room. The ZPM was so burningly brilliant that the glow was coming through the material of Rodney's jacket and bathing his pale face in an unhealthy red pallor.

He spoke as he moved and was not going as fast as he had been earlier to get to the room. "Go back to the control room."

Jennifer shook her head, even though he could not see the motion where she stalked behind him. She added a verbal, "No," when he did not answer.

"Please, Jennifer. Just go. I'm not kidding, it's highly unstable and is probably going to explode if the overload cycle continues and the failsafes don't kick in in time."

Jennifer held her ground. If they were all going to die at some point in the next minute, she was not going to leave Rodney all alone. Nor could she imagine spending her final moments with anyone else, or worse, on her own down some long forsaken corridor in the depths of Atlantis. She said again, a little more forcefully, "No. You can do whatever you need to do and then bring me back."

Rodney's voice rose and cracked as he pleaded, "Please! You can't come with me, it's too dangerous!"

Jennifer followed him into the rear compartment of the Jumper. Rodney placed the ZPM on the floor It was still wrapped in his jacket, but that was now doing very little to shield their eyes from the dazzling glow of the ZPM as it continued to power up to an unknown, but inevitable conclusion; either one of explosive death or a far safer final shut down.

Rodney turned to her when he heard her feet clank onto the deck noisily behind him. He suddenly rushed over to her and actually physically took hold of her upper arms with his broad hands. She could feel him trembling through the contact and furrowed her brow in concern. He peered into her face and she was taken aback by the new heights of panic she saw deep within his wide eyes where he was so much closer to her. He was breathing heavily in fear and Jennifer tried not to sink to her knees as his hot breaths washed over her face. He shook her none too gently and tried to force her backwards, towards the rear hatch.

He said, "You have to stay here. If I'm going to go out in a blaze of ZedPM glory, I don't want to take you along for the ride. Killing myself is one thing, but I couldn't bear it if my last thoughts were that I'd killed you too."

Jennifer frowned and twisted her upper body in an effort to free herself from his hold, which was becoming tighter to the point of pain in his desperation. She frowned and winced and Rodney's grasp on her loosened so that it no longer hurt, but he was still pushing her backwards.

She said, "All the more reason for me to go along with you. I trust that if it's not just yourself you're saving, you're more likely to do a better job and come back if you've got me to look out for too."

Rodney frowned in confusion and then let go completely, "There's so little time left, I can't force you to stay behind without knocking you out."

Jennifer gave him a small smile, "You'd hit a woman, Rodney?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and his face remained impassive to her question, and he did not reply. As he turned his back, Jennifer opened her mouth in shock. He had really been thinking about doing it!

She went over to the co-pilot's seat and Rodney had already sealed the rear hatch and flown the Jumper up into the air before she could sit down. She placed the tablet, cable and scanner down on the floor next to her seat. She then watched on the HUD as the underwater bay flooded and Rodney opened the doors and guided the ship out. In his haste and panic, he clipped the Jumper on the wall and there was a horrible sound of metal tearing and scraping together which set Jennifer's teeth on edge. The inertial dampeners faltered for a moment and Jennifer grabbed the base of her seat as she swayed. She said, "Did you get the licence plate of what hit us?" as light-heartedly as her constricted chest would allow.

Rodney merely grunted in annoyance. When Jennifer turned to look at him, sweat was running down his face and his mouth was open to reveal gritted teeth. His breath was hissing in and out between them. She looked down at him and saw that his hands were white where he was holding the control sticks tightly and his whole body was shaking with tiny tremors. If the situation were not so dire, Jennifer would have had him carted off to the infirmary straight away to find out what was wrong, but she knew he was trying to suppress the worst signs of his panic and fear, but not really succeeding.

He tapped the comm and his voice mimicked his body language as it shook and faltered, "Control! The ZedPM is about to overload! I'm bringing it up to the top of the tower and intend to take it through the gate. Find a nice uninhabited system with a space gate and put the address through to Jumper Seven."

Jennifer baulked. She thought he was just going to take it up into the atmosphere and let it detonate far away from the city. She had no idea his intention was not only to get it away from the planet, but away from the system.

The Jumper breached the surface of the water at breakneck speed and Rodney flew it vertically upwards, turning it elegantly in the air so that it spun around. Jennifer watched the central tower zooming past the window so quickly that she had to look away due to the instant nausea it gave her.

"What's going to happen?" She asked.

Rodney's voice was high as he squeaked, "At best, nothing. It'll just power down and we can study it in a more controlled environment far away from Atlantis. Next up we have the delightful explosion, which, if it happens, will be absolutely massive due to the fact that this ZedPM is fully charged…" he trailed off as they approached the top of the tower and he had to concentrate to loop the Jumper up and over into the funnel leading into the upper bay.

"And the worst?"

"Don't even go there…" Rodney mumbled as the Jumper headed down through the tunnel. Jennifer leant back in her seat as the doors at the bottom of the bay filled the windscreen and they fell down with such speed, she was sure they were going to hit them. Rodney glanced at the panel and hammered the DHD as they approached.

"_McKay, this is Sheppard. Land that Jumper and I'll take it!"_

Rodney shouted, "It's too late! There isn't enough time!"

"_McKay_…" Sheppard drawled in a warning tone.

"No, Colonel. I can't. It'll destroy Atlantis and kill everyone! Hell it might even take out the whole planet!"

"All the more reason for me to take it instead of you. Air Force Colonels are quite common. Annoying, genius scientists aren't. Land it and get your sorry ass down here now! That's an order!"

Rodney's hand hovered over the DHD in midstrike and he sighed, "You're _not_ replaceable, John."

"_Well… well… neither are you,"_ he finished lamely. _"And why is Jennifer still with you?"_

She spoke up, "Rodney's still showing me the city. Thought I'd tag along for the ride offworld too."

Rodney gave her a scathing look and then pinched his face together tightly as he steeled himself and then hit the engage button. The autopilot snagged the Jumper and it lowered down into the gate room.

Rodney said through the radio, "Raise the shield as soon as we're through."

The Jumper quickly shot forwards and slid through the open gate. As Jennifer was absorbed by the rippling blue pool of the open wormhole, she felt the familiar chill as all her molecules were torn apart. In the instant before the ship breached the lake, she closed her eyes and hoped that because Rodney was with her, everything was going to be alright.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – badda big boom?_


	5. Into the Freezer

**_Chapter 5 – Into the Freezer_**

Rodney was half expecting the travel through the wormhole to instantly detonate the ZPM, but his luck held. The unhealthy blood red dying glow of the device flooded the interior of the Jumper and he thought he could even hear the thing humming as it built up to overload. He quickly sealed the central bulkhead door to block out the blinding light flooding the ship and flew the Jumper as far away from the gate as possible. But it was far too late for the ship to gain much distance and an alarm soon sounded on the sensors.

He wished that Jennifer had not come. Rodney had only relented when she said that she trusted him. He had been so shocked that he had instantly let go of her arms and allowed her to settle into the co-pilot's seat once more. He could not face hurting her either, no matter how much of a stubborn ass she was being or how desperate he was that she should stay behind. Her attitude should have been something he was familiar with as he was known to be difficult to shift or alter his mindset when he was set on something.

But now things were very dangerous. There was no guarantee that the ZPM was not going to explode and the shockwave engulf and destroy the Jumper too. He hoped the gate had shut down or the people on Atlantis had at least raised the gate shield to prevent blowback from the possible explosion that was soon to follow. Rodney really did not want the ZPM to be destroyed as he was sure it would break his heart which had been so filled with happiness earlier.

He also hoped that the Gate Tech had really chosen an uninhabited system. That way, no innocent people would die if the ZPM went so far as to explode.

The alarm grew more insistent and the energy reading coming from the rear compartment was spiking above safety levels. Yet they were still far too close to the gate. Rodney sighed heavily, the Jumper still had to get clear too, so it was now or never. He announced, "Opening the rear hatch," and then pressed the control with a heavy heart.

It was like a dagger stabbing him right in his core; to watch the ZPM floating out of the rear compartment on the HUD as it was jettisoned into space behind the ship. He had to blink slowly as the disappointment and sadness threatened to overwhelm him. He concentrated on pushing the Jumper to fly away as quickly as possible out into the black space of the random system they had entered.

He had only had the rear hatch shut for a moment, when the energy reading shrunk and then suddenly filled the entire HUD in the form of a massive and impossibly fast shockwave which spread out and continued to grow at an alarming rate. Rodney's mental control activated the shields faster than his hands could, the instant before the wall of phenomenal destructive power slammed into the Jumper.

For a moment the Jumper rode on the edge of the shockwave, like it was surfing a huge wave in the ocean, but the shields soon buckled and Rodney had to transfer some of the power from the inertial dampeners so that they were not torn apart by the sheer. Rodney held the controls as tightly as he could to hold the ship steady and himself in his seat as it was jostled, but outrunning the inevitable was no longer an option.

The wave forced the Jumper onwards at an impressive lick and the engines failed as Rodney rerouted all available power to the shields so that they were not vaporized.

The bright energy fanned out in front of the ship when it was taken inside the shockwave as it started to pass through. Rodney had his teeth tightly clenched as he stared at the HUD and willed it to be over soon before all the power was drained and the Jumper was destroyed. He frowned when he saw that the wave was gradually reaching the end of its destructive and eventful passage and it was beginning to dissipate. He would have sighed in relief, but it was too soon for that.

After another few seconds of swaying in his chair and hoping that the small metal vessel would survive intact, it was all over.

Rodney leant back in his seat as all the energy from the dying throes of the ZPM faded out entirely and left nothing but black space and some weaker and less dangerous waves in its wake.

He glanced across at Jennifer and saw that she was staring wide eyed out of the window and her face was very pale. Rodney clenched and unclenched his fists and winced where he had had them so tightly closed around the controls that he had given himself cramp.

He sighed heavily as the adrenaline caused by the threat of imminent, instant death began to fade and left him totally spent. He asked her, "You okay?"

Jennifer uncurled her hands from where she was gripping the seat and slowly turned her head to look at him. She was looking a little rattled and shell shocked and could only mumble, "Yes? Yes, I think so."

Rodney nodded and then the relief started to fade away and as it did, it gave way to a deep sadness that the ZPM was now lost.

He said in a low voice, "I'll take us back."

Jennifer tilted her head in a stunned affirmative and then turned back to look out of the window. Rodney frowned in confusion when her face was bathed in a brilliant white light. Surely the ZPM had finished its explosive finale?

He looked out of the window and baulked in shock at the bright planet immediately in front of them as it turned over and over in the window where the Jumper spun around in space above it. Rodney brought up the HUD and saw that they had already been snagged by the gravitational pull on the daytime side of the frozen orb.

Although as he studied it more, he realised that it was not totally white as his first impression had told him. There were areas of brown and even small patches of dark green where trees and mountains rose up out of the frozen surface. It looked like a giant chocolate splattered meringue and he would have taken a while longer to take in its breathtaking and mysterious beauty had it not had the Jumper caught in its icy and tantalising grip.

Rodney powered up the engines, but there was not enough energy left to tear them away from the pull. The Jumper was accelerating alarmingly fast towards the surface in an inexorable nosedive. The ZPM may not have taken out the Jumper directly, but they were still heading for an explosive crash and death was sure to follow.

The Jumper dropped like a stone through the atmosphere and Rodney slammed his hand down on the emergency beacon control to release it into orbit above the planet. That way they would be found by future rescue parties, even if all that was left was a smoking crater somewhere on the surface of the planet. It was only a short range transmitter and if the system truly was uninhabited, he knew the Wraith would not come near enough to pick it up. Only the people on Atlantis knew roughly where they were.

Heat spread across the window as the Jumper punched through the upper atmosphere. The vessel was strong enough to take it, even without shields, but Rodney still could have sworn he felt his feet warming up.

The Jumper continued to fall and Rodney desperately grappled with the controls to slow down their descent. He levelled the ship off, so that they did not hit the surface nose first, but then a sudden air current or eddy in the atmosphere slammed into the ship and sent it spinning out of control. Without the inertial dampeners at full strength, Rodney's hands were wrenched away from the control sticks as he was thrown out of his chair and into the wall. His breath left him and he gritted his teeth as the centrifugal force of the rapid spin pinned him to the wall and crushed all the air out of his lungs.

He opened his eyes blearily and saw that Jennifer was opposite him and equally stuck. She had her eyes closed. Rodney's own eyes were streaming as he struggled to breathe and he used the last of his air to force out a whispered, "Jennifer…"

He pulled his left arm away from the wall, even though it felt like it was a lead weight, and reached out his trembling hand towards the control console. He hit the button to reinitialise the inertial dampeners and allowed his arm to slam back into the wall. It probably had not done much, but it was the best chance they had for their lives to be saved when they reached the end of their terrifying plummet.

He closed his eyes and there was a loud bang and scraping sound which seemed to go on forever. It was accompanied by the most awful turning and twisting sensation as the ship was tossed and bounced from the surface several times.

He fell down and smacked into the deck and found he was too stunned to suck in a breath. Something yielding hit him in the chest where he lay and he cracked open his eyes and his vision was filled with flowing golden hair. He grabbed Jennifer around the waist and used his body as a shield when the Jumper came to a juddering halt and he was thrown backwards into what he surmised must have been the base of one of the chairs in the cockpit. He let the pain and fact that he had been unable to breathe for far too long take him away. His eyes drifted shut as the world around him faded to black.

* * *

Jennifer woke up shrouded in a cold blanket. Her teeth chattered together and her head throbbed painfully. As she shifted, her elbow pressed into something warm and soft and there was a small moan right next to her ear, startling her out of her semi wakeful state.

She shivered and opened her eyes. She looked up and saw that the Jumper ceiling was right above her where she was lying on the deck. The interior was bathed in a pale white light which was streaming through the windscreen, and the central bulkhead door was still closed.

As she tried to roll away to stand, she found that arms were wrapped tightly around her middle and prevented her movement. She carefully peeled the limbs away from herself and the moment she was loose, the frozen chill hit her back which she soon deduced had been pressed against Rodney's chest.

Her shuddering breaths misted in front of her face and she was sure that as she watched she could see ice crystals creeping along the metal surfaces inside the Jumper.

Rodney was sprawled on the floor on his back and Jennifer realised that she had been lying on top of him during the crash and he had probably protected her from the brunt of the impact. There were no visible signs of external trauma or bleeding and all his limbs were intact and straight. There was a small cut on his cheek which had bled profusely over his face, but the blood had already stopped flowing and was frozen onto his skin. The wound would still need to be cleaned, disinfected and dressed, but it was not serious enough to demand her immediate attention from her unresponsive patient.

She crouched down and patted his face, "Rodney! Rodney? Can you hear me?"

He twitched and moaned again, but did not wake. His skin was even colder than Jennifer's and he was shaking violently. All the hairs on his bare arms stood up, but they were not able to trap enough heat in the icy air. Jennifer had to find something quickly to warm both of them up or they would succumb to hypothermia before she could properly survey him for injuries. She held her head in her hands as she straightened and an angry headache flared across her temples.

She went over to the central door and used the emergency release lever. It opened the doors narrowly even without any power. She pulled her sleeves over her hands to avoid ice burns and shoved one of the doors open just widely enough so that she could turn sideways and squeeze through.

The rear compartment was a mess where equipment had come loose from the ceiling nets during the crash and had been strewn over the deck and seats. She quickly found the medkit and some blankets and headed back into the cockpit.

Rodney was still lying on the floor and he had drawn his arms up over his chest and was shaking. His eyes were tightly closed and his rapid and uneven breaths visibly puffed out of his mouth in a white mist.

Jennifer threw two of the blankets on top of him and then pulled a further two over her own shoulders and sat down next to him. She pawed at his face again and he was still incoherent, so she drew the medkit over.

As she was rummaging through the meagre contents of the kit, Rodney groaned again and Jennifer looked over at him. His eyes were open narrowly as he watched her and he grimaced. He looked up at her forehead and his expression shifted to concern, "You're bleeding."

"You can't really talk."

"Oh, god, I'm dying aren't I?" Rodney whined and looked away with his eyes closed. "That's why I'm so cold; I've lost too much blood for you to be able to do anything other than watch."

Jennifer shifted forwards onto her knees and went over to his side. "No. You're not bleeding," at least externally, she added in her head, but kept it to herself to avoid him panicking. "And you won't die if I can help it." She glanced along his body, and then up at his face, "Tell me where it hurts."

Rodney winced and cried, "Everywhere!"

Jennifer sighed and rolled her eyes, "Where does it hurt the _most_?"

"I think one of my ribs is broken and I have bruises on top of my bruises, just, just, everywhere!"

"Okay, well, squeak if it hurts."

Rodney shot her a scathing look and winced as she felt along his legs under the blanket and she found a painful area on his lower leg. She immediately stopped and furrowed her brow. She pulled away the cloth covering him and examined a darkened patch of skin on his limb. "It's a bruise."

Jennifer pulled the blankets back to check him over more thoroughly. There was a nasty livid purple mark on the side of Rodney's chest which matched the base of the chair almost exactly, but when she palpated his ribcage, all the bones were intact.

He shivered under her touch and mumbled, "Your hands are cold."

Jennifer frowned in concentration and reassured him, "You haven't got any broken ribs, but you've got a nice, impressive bruise." She decided to continue her survey anyway and asked, "Any pain anywhere else?" as she gently pressed his abdomen. She could not feel any abnormal masses or tender areas which would signify internal bleeding.

Rodney suddenly twitched, tensed up and held his breath when her hands reached his lower belly and she checked his pelvis through his clothes for fractures. She immediately stopped and furrowed her brow in concern, "Did that hurt?"

Rodney released his breath and muttered, "Um, no. It tickles."

Jennifer gave him a tight smile and then moved onto testing his arms for hidden injuries and signs of breaks or internal bleeding.

She could not help the growing suspicion that he was doing it deliberately so that she would touch him, but she was not so mean as to call him on it as he could very well be badly hurt inside.

She reached his wrists and finding that he did not flinch and there had been no pain reaction during the rest of her examination she settled his hands on his chest and pulled the blankets up to cover him again. She drew her own blankets tightly around herself and said, "You've just got some bruises. You'll be sore for a while, but I can't find anything major. You should get some ice on them though to stop the swelling and it'll help with the pain."

"Plenty of that around…" Rodney muttered bitterly as his eyes tracked around the cockpit and settled upside down on the windscreen above him which was covered in bright white snow so that they could not see out.

It was so cold in the Jumper that Jennifer did not think he really needed it anyway and she did not want to venture outside until they knew what they were dealing with. It was probably a lot warmer in the Jumper than it was outside and a sudden gust of frozen air may well kill them both if she opened the hatch.

Rodney sat up on the floor and Jennifer helped him stand. He staggered as he supported his weight on numb feet and rested a hand over the bruising across his chest with his eyes closed. He said, "Shouldn't we have been rescued by now?"

"We just have to wait a little longer. They'll come for us." Jennifer rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder to emphasize her words. She was still in what she classed as her doctor mode, as she helped him to remain standing, and that lessened her own fear as it gave her the need to offer him comfort both physically and mentally.

Rodney glanced at his watch and whined, "But it's been nearly an hour already!" His eyes darted around in panic and then settled on Jennifer's face. He cried, "They should be here by now!"

Deep down in her heart, Jennifer knew he was right. But she refused to tell him what she felt or to break down and give into despair, for his sake as well as her own.

Rodney adjusted the blankets over himself and wrapped them around his upper body snugly. He looked around and spotted his tablet on the floor and went over and grabbed it. He limped as he moved and hissed as his injured leg pained him. He settled heavily in the pilot's seat and Jennifer stood nearby feeling totally useless and out of place as there was nothing she could do to help him. He booted up the computer and ran through schematics at a much slower rate than he usually did as he worked one handed and kept his other hand curled around his chest.

The cold was beginning to seep into Jennifer's bones through the thin blankets and she shivered involuntarily as she asked, "Is there any power or heat?"

Rodney gritted his teeth and hissed through them as he trembled. His bare hand shook uncontrollably where he had it exposed to the subzero air inside the Jumper while he worked. His teeth chattered and his hand stopped hitting the screen and he closed his eyes as he mumbled, "Hurts."

Jennifer turned to the poorly stocked med kit. There were a few bandages and tape in there, along with the usual disinfectants, mild analgesia and antibiotics, but she was reluctant to give any away if the pain was bearable.

Rodney turned to her and caught her looking at the medkit. He asked in a quivering voice, "Haven't you got any painkillers in there?" She turned to look at him and before she could reply affirmatively and give him some, he continued, "Developing a sadistic streak that I should be aware of the next time I get checked into the infirmary?"

Jennifer shook herself out of her cold induced stupor and her sluggish mind worked up into an insulted frenzy and she frowned angrily at him, "No! I have a headache but there's not very much in the kit and I don't know how long it'll be before we're rescued!"

Rodney furrowed his brow and Jennifer relented. She knew that even though his injuries were not that serious that everyone's perception of pain was different and it could well be as awful as torture for him. She was certainly not going to force him to suffer through it.

She gave him a couple of the precious pills and then took one herself to ease the gnawing headache which was intensifying with every shiver of her body.

When Rodney had had his pain sufficiently eased with what little analgesia they had, he carried on working and Jennifer went back into the rear compartment to keep herself busy before the slowly building panic took hold of her. Physical injuries she could deal with, but being trapped and useless was not doing anything to calm her nerves. She intended to see if she could find anything to warm them up as Rodney was too busy trying to find a way out of the situation to look and see what supplies they had available.

She rummaged through the nets and around the equipment all over the floor. She examined the labels on the various containers and emergency supplies which were in every Jumper as standard. She found a toolkit and weapons cache. She frowned at the tent and life raft and quickly bypassed them. Then she came up trumps.

"Cold weather gear," she whispered through her numb lips as she read the label and blinked slowly. Her eyelashes were freezing together as ice crystals grew from the moisture leaking out of her eyes in the cold.

She pulled down the bag and lost her grip as her muscles relaxed before she could do anything about it. She closed her eyes and sighed tiredly as she continued to tremble. She was still in the first stage of hypothermia, but needed to get warm before she moved onto the more dangerous second stage.

She leant over and grabbed the handle of the bag and dragged it into the cockpit.

Rodney was now typing very slowly on the screen of his computer and looked up and blinked languidly back at Jennifer when he heard her coming back. He said, "This is all my fault. You shouldn't have come."

Jennifer undid the bag and smiled as she pulled out the thick gloves, hats, coats and boots inside. There were goggles and face protectors as well, but she left them for now. She passed one set to Rodney and he clutched the jacket in his pale hands. He continued speaking while they wrapped themselves up in the gear, "It's my fault the ZedPM overloaded. I should've checked it more thoroughly."

Jennifer pulled the gloves onto her hands, but she was still cold. She could hardly be annoyed with him, as it was so glacial in the Jumper that her mind was numb and the ice was making her slow to anger. She said, "Zelenka checked it. I was there too, remember? He said it was fine."

"Zelenka?" Rodney snorted and winced. He took a few seconds to recover and then continued, "Is not as smart as I am. Whatever he missed, I should've picked it up."

"If you're looking for someone to blame, then you should blame me for bringing it back. Now we're both going to freeze to death on this ice block of a planet!"

Rodney sighed heavily and a massive outpouring of mist came from his mouth which took a few seconds to dissipate. He drew the hood of his coat over his head and pulled it down tightly and wrinkled his nose a few times. Jennifer did the same, but she could still not feel her nose or other extremities.

He glanced at his computer and grimaced as he turned back to her. His blood dirtied skin was just visible through the fur outlining his face and he gestured with his gloved hand. It bumped against the computer uselessly and he said, "I just retrieved the last readings the Jumper picked up before we crashed. It ran a partial sweep of the planet and space surrounding it."

Jennifer's thawing heart clenched in fright when he stopped and looked away.

He continued, "I can't find the gate in any of the readings. It may have been knocked out of place so that it's drifting away from its original position and out of range or…" He gritted his teeth, "Or it's been destroyed."

Jennifer hugged her arms around herself and sat down heavily next to him in the co-pilot's seat. "Either way, we're stuck here, right?" She glanced across at him with wide eyes and she knew that she was blasting him with poorly concealed fear.

Rodney nodded once, "Without an anchor point, the gate will be impossible to dial if it's drifting."

Jennifer drew in a shuddering breath, "You can get us off the planet, move it back into place and reset it though, can't you?" She could not stop her voice rising at the end as her panic took hold and Rodney slowly shook his head before she had even finished. She cried in desperation, "We'll both die if you don't do something!"

Rodney frowned over at her and answered bluntly, "What do you think I'm doing? Sitting here roasting and toasty warm in this heat suit while I keep all the information from you just for my own entertainment?"

Jennifer sighed and muttered, "There must be _something._"

Rodney looked away and his voice lowered as he said, "I'm sorry. But you're right. We're probably going to die here." He turned his tablet around to show her. He wiped the ice away from the screen and Jennifer saw a dull schematic of the Jumper. Several areas were flashing red and he elaborated, "Both engine pods were torn off in the crash. I might be able to find them out there in the snow, but they're more than likely several miles away. There's hardly any power either."

He looked up at the covered window and his eyes became intense with terror as he turned to her and said, "I wonder whether we'll freeze to death or starve first?"

Jennifer's heart clenched and she hugged her arms around her middle more tightly to stave off the new tremors of fear which had taken root along with the all encompassing and debilitating cold.

* * *

_TBC_

_Brrrrrrrr…_


	6. Breaking the Ice

**_Chapter 6 – Breaking the Ice_**

Rodney sat hunched over his computer in the pilot's seat to trap as much body heat as he could. Even though he was wrapped up tightly in the cold weather gear, he could still feel the chill passing over his covered skin where his circulation was having trouble getting started again after he had been touched by the freeze in just a thin cotton t-shirt.

He shuddered and jabbed at the screen again with his gloved hand. He then sighed in disgust as the computer just kept on telling him what he did not want to know about the state of the Jumper and the seriousness of the situation.

There was a sudden loud crash which made him jump. He coughed harshly as the rapid intake of breath he made in fright sent a whoosh of frozen air down into his lungs. He trembled and clutched at his chest where a chill had just settled deep inside him like a dagger of ice.

He spun around in his chair to see what the racket was and grumbled breathlessly, "I'm trying to work here, and that noise isn't helping my concentration very much." He peered through the gap in the doors and saw the mess in the rear compartment for the first time.

Jennifer came up to the door and Rodney watched as she shoved and pushed it all the way open. She pursed her lips angrily and glared at him, "If you must know, I'm seeing what we have between us the freezing to death. And what are you doing that's so important anyway? Sulking because you can't find any power?"

Rodney opened his mouth in fury, "There _is_ power left! It's just… just…" he waved his gloved hand about and looked away as he mumbled, "…hard to find!"

Jennifer tilted her head to the side and went back to grabbing the equipment off the floor and laying it out neatly on the rear benches. She audibly muttered, "Useless."

Rodney felt a bubble of heated anger forming in his core and sending its flaming tendrils through his nerves to warm and enrage him. He was a little confused as to whether the comment had been directed at him or the emergency supplies, but nevertheless, he still peeled himself out of the seat and winced as the feeling came back into his numb muscles. He limped over into the rear compartment and found that the pain of the movement took his breath, along with the righteous fury, right away. A moment ago he had been ready to have a go at her, but now he just felt tired and drained.

He tossed the tablet down onto the bench next to what looked like some more medical supplies. He raised his eyebrows when he saw a few letters visible through the white frosting of ice coating the surface of everything.

He grabbed the box and smiled as he wiped the label clear. The words 'Automated External Defibrillator' were written across it and Rodney's own heart was soon fluttering as he set it on the power cell hidden within. He was certain he could find a way to jury rig it up to the Jumper in order to give them some much needed energy.

He was fumbling with his gloves excitedly when the sound of Jennifer's movements suddenly stopped and she cried, "What are you doing?"

Rodney paused with one of his gloves off and looked up at her. He shrugged and removed the second glove and started working at removing the packaging. He said, "Got any spare tape in the med kit? I'm cannibalising parts to help warm us up."

"Well, find something else!"

Rodney frowned and looked up. Jennifer's face was terrible to behold and he could only withstand her piercing eyes for a few seconds as they bored into him. The temperature inside the Jumper seemed to lower as she stared at him. She suddenly came over and physically pushed him aside and tore the box from his insubstantial grip where his muscles were quickly weakening in the frigid air.

She hugged the AED against her chest and stepped away from him.

He frowned at her and asked angrily, "You want to live, don't you? As much as I hate to admit it; you were right. There's barely enough power left in the Jumper systems to warm us for more than a few hours." He looked at the box he coveted and continued, "That could help us!"

Jennifer stared at him and then her gaze shifted down to the tablet on the bench. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she asked, "And will you be pulling the battery out of your tablet to heat us up?"

"What? No!" Rodney replied immediately. How could she even think such a thing!?

"Well then, you keep your precious computer and I'll look after the medical supplies."

Rodney ground his teeth together in anger and then realised that he had been so distracted that he had allowed the cold to creep up his arms unhindered from his unclad hands which had gone completely numb. He looked down at them blearily and winced as he tried to bend his purple fingers.

He had no choice but to let her have this one victory, but she had another thing coming if she thought she could try it again.

He turned away as he muttered, "Doesn't matter anyway, we should have some drones."

Perhaps the fulfilment of his fantasy was not going to be as wonderful as he had always imagined if she was going to act like this. He had always dreamed of being alone with this woman with a whole planet to themselves and nothing to disturb them. He had even congratulated himself when she had checked him over just after the crash, because he had had her full attention. But now the realist was butting in and dragging his thoughts down. It pressed the point by telling him that he was cold and hungry, and his ribs and leg hurt all the time.

He slowly pulled his gloves on with unfeeling hands and furrowed his brow. After they were back in place, he pressed his covered hands against his face and sighed in despair. They were both very stressed and should not have been splitting up their equipment like a couple of possessive kids. He had reached a whole new level of pettiness in his desperation to save their lives. He doubted whether the battery in the AED had enough juice inside to give them more than a few extra degrees which would probably last less than an hour. It was not worth the fight and he felt shame that they had squabbled over something so trivial.

He limped into the cockpit and crouched down. He fumbled with his hands and eventually found purchase under the deck plating and pulled it up. He smiled at the four drones he saw nestled inside the floor; ready to be launched at a moment's thought. They now had a much more important purpose; to preserve life, but not by killing to protect, as they had been intended.

Rodney removed one and sat down on the deck and drew the squid like yellow contraption into his lap.

He peered up and saw that Jennifer was watching him from the rear compartment. She looked mildly apologetic, but quickly tossed her head back and said nothing before she went back to sorting through the gear.

Rodney lay the drone down on the deck and went over to look for a toolkit. He stood next to Jennifer and peered down at what meagre supplies they had to survive.

He did not dare meet her eye as he said flatly, "The stargate our ingenious Gate Tech sent us through is a long way from Atlantis. That is, a long way, in the wrong direction. It'll take at least ten days for the Daedalus to reach us as they're on a supply run from Earth."

She stopped where she had just picked up a plastic crate. She placed it on the seat and turned to him. He looked across at her and there was more fear in her eyes than he had seen before. She gestured hopelessly down at the bags on the bench and said in a shaking voice, "We've only got a few MREs and a handful of power bars. We'll never survive that long. Being cold burns off far more calories than normal."

Rodney could not hide the dejection in his own voice and nor did he even try, "Each of the power cells from the drones will only heat us up for a few hours. The sun is already setting according to the sensor readings and my very accurate prediction of the projected rotation speed of this planet. It'll get much colder, so we should stay inside for now. I saw life sign readings out there too, so it's not safe. How anything could or would _want_ to survive on this wasteland is beyond me."

Jennifer went over to the crate and pulled the lid back, "Well, I'd suggest a hunting trip. But unless you find a way to channel Ronon's hunting and survival skills in the next couple of days, I think we're a bit out of our depth."

Rodney glanced into the crate and reached forwards and pulled out the only gun inside. He placed it back down and saw there were two clips in there. He grumbled in disgust, "Was this Jumper fully equipped and air worthy before they allowed us to take it out?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes and smirked at him, "I suppose they didn't think we were going to take it for a longer field trip than they intended."

"Well, I'll have to sort that out." He quickly corrected himself, "Or leave a message so that when they come to retrieve our frozen corpses in a couple of weeks they can learn from their mistake."

Jennifer frowned at him and narrowed her eyes miserably, "Don't talk like that!"

Rodney lifted his chin up at her and folded his arms, "And what should I say then?" He looked down and nodded his head as he spoke patronisingly, "We've got no food or warmth and we're stuck on a planet full of alien life forms which are probably just as hungry as we are. Between us and starvation stands one gun with enough bullets to kill a small rodent. Wow, who would _you_ place your bets on surviving on this desolate oversized scoop of ice cream?"

Jennifer sighed quietly and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Us," she said simply.

Rodney looked up into her eyes and although he still saw the deep primal terror within her features, he also saw something else he could not quite place. Was it hope? He was unsure, because why would she be looking at him in hope, when all he could do was panic and tell her over and over again that a slow and painful death was all that awaited them in the next few days? Did she really think he was going to be the one to save them? He did not think so. But he had to try and save _her_, as long as she survived, nothing else mattered.

He reached up where her hand was still resting on his shoulder and held onto her forearm. He squeezed gently with his numb and well padded hand and through her equally thick coat. She blinked and then lowered her arm.

He moved away and picked up the toolkit which had been lovingly placed on the bench and retreated back into the cockpit to dismantle a drone.

Something important had just passed between them but his mind was too fuzzy to put his finger on it.

His stomach was rolling and grumbling unhappily at him over how empty it was and he wished he had eaten something at the party. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago he had felt happiness so keenly that he thought his heart was going to burst. But the excitement was now only a mournful memory and echo of the past. Things were now so bad that he was beginning to doubt whether it had even happened at all.

He sat down a little too heavily on the floor and felt the jolt of the impact travel through his rump and up his spine. He slouched over and pulled up the toolkit and selected what he needed. The work was delicate and required dextrous fingers that he could not achieve with the gloves still on or he might detonate the drone. That would certainly kill them both much faster than the creeping and soul numbing cold.

He reluctantly pulled the gloves off and his red fingers immediately became stiff and sore. His hands trembled violently and he gritted his teeth and concentrated all his efforts to still them so that he could work.

Jennifer seemed to be reaching the end of her inventory as he could see her slowing down. Either that or the cold was finally getting to her as well.

Out of the corner of his eye, Rodney saw her grab a few things and come over to join him while he pried away the rubbery legs of the drone to get to the prized power cell inside. She sat down on the deck and shifted herself along so that her side was pressed firmly against his.

Rodney was jostled and cried, "Careful! Delicate work here! The initial heat blast will certainly warm us up, but probably a little bit too much for anything other than there to be a smoking pile of debris left afterwards."

Jennifer kept her body in closely next to his and he did feel a little warmth seeping through the coat between them along with another kind of heat in his face as his skin flushed from the contact. She laid two MREs down on the deck in front of them in reverence; like they were the most glorious and valuable treasures or jewels that were only worthy to be admired, but never touched.

Rodney's hollow belly made a noisy lolloping sound and Jennifer chuckled. She moved closer to him, but only succeeded in pushing him sideways again. Rodney huffed and asked, "Yes, I'm hungry. So what? I'm cold too and I'd rather be warm while I eat."

He did not look up as he asked, "So what else do we have?"

Jennifer sniffed and did not move again while he worked. She gazed into the rear compartment and said, "We don't have many things. Sleeping bags, a tent, life raft, a small camping gas tin for cooking, you saw the gun, a few other odds and ends."

She paused as Rodney finally got the core of the drone exposed. He heard a slight hitch in her breath before she continued, "There are a few plates and things, not that they're any good for eating."

Rodney simply stared at the drone and Jennifer looked at him in exasperation.

After a while, he asked, "Is there a deck of cards?"

Jennifer furrowed her brow in confusion, "Got a sudden urge to play solitaire?"

"Well, it's either that or ten days straight of 'would you rather?'"

Jennifer smiled, "Sorry, I didn't find any. Besides, I _like _'would you rather."

Rodney shuddered, but not through cold. He finally freed the power cell and held it tightly in his hand.

He said, "This should keep us warm for the night, but we'll need to find something else out there or in here to use tomorrow."

He activated it and it glowed bright yellow, bathing the darkening Jumper in light and heat. He placed it on the deck in front of them and admired it.

Before he could do anything else, Jennifer reached across and pushed his hood down. She swabbed his bloody face with an antiseptic wipe and Rodney grimaced and closed his watering eyes at the sharp sting caused by a cut he had not realised he had. He turned to her indignantly as she finished cleaning him up. She placed a plaster on his cheek and smoothed it out slowly. Her touch was gentle and Rodney felt himself blush even as he winced again. She smiled kindly at his pained expression and as she lowered her hand, she reassured, "All done."

He pointed at her face and asked, "Got another one?"

She sighed heavily and passed him a small package. He subjected her to the same treatment as he cleaned and covered the wound on her face and she bit her lip while he worked. Her skin was pale and beautiful by drone-light underneath the dirt and blood and he envisioned her as a magnificent ice queen trapped with him on this wintry world.

When he finished, Jennifer reached forwards and grabbed the MREs. She handed him one and they ate in companionable silence. Rodney was starting to enjoy being with her, even though there was a constant heavy weight of dread settled over his heart at the direness of their predicament.

Rodney's food was gone in record time and he had to resist the urge to stare at Jennifer while she finished hers. He instead focused his attention on the glowing battery in front of them where they were sitting side by side on the floor and still leaning against each other. Not that he could really feel the contact as much as he would have liked through the thick coats.

He thought that perhaps it was not so bad after all as his eyes became fixed on the light until everything else around him faded out into darkness.

His side suddenly felt cooler and he tore his eyes away and saw that Jennifer had left him and gone back into the rear compartment. She yawned and said, "I don't know about you, but I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. You said that night's coming, do you know how long it lasts?"

Rodney shook his head and stood up. He picked up the power cell in his gloved hands and moved it into the rear compartment and placed it down between the sleeping bags Jennifer was unrolling.

He went over and grabbed his tablet and ran a few quick calculations, "At least eight hours."

Jennifer peeled off her coat and shoes and then climbed into one of the sleeping bags fully clothed. She drew her blankets over the top. Rodney was still tapping on his tablet, but he could not help his eyes as they kept shifting up to watch her. He eventually sighed in defeat and resigned himself to his fate. There was no more he could do before daybreak as all his current plans involved investigating the crash site for things they could use.

His face became hot as he pulled off his own jacket and shoes and he felt Jennifer's eyes burning a hole in him where she lay curled up in the sleeping bag nearby.

Rodney crawled into his and as he laid blankets over himself, he looked across at Jennifer and gave her a sheepish grin. She smiled back at him and then closed her eyes.

Rodney lay there for a long time staring up at the ceiling of the Jumper which was bathed in the harsh light of the drone heart pulsing silently between them.

He could not sleep, even when he heard the sound of Jennifer's breathing even out next to him as she drifted off. He envied her ease at falling asleep as he lay there with his mind buzzing with plans and ideas which were the only things keeping him from falling back into panic. He could feel how tired his body was, but his overactive brain would not switch off and concentrating on rest only made the thoughts come more quickly.

His back was soon out of place and sore from the hard deck. He vowed to investigate turning the life raft into some sort of mattress if they were going to make a home of the Jumper and to give him any chance of being able to walk the next day.

He rolled over onto the wrong side first. He pressed his weight against the bruise on his chest which sent a jolt of pain chasing around his ribcage. He winced and closed his eyes tightly and turned over onto his other side. That meant that he was now facing Jennifer and he watched her for a moment and whispered, "I'm glad that you came, Jennifer. If you hadn't I'd be stuck all alone on this wasteland."

Her face twitched briefly, but she did not wake up.

Rodney smiled and closed his eyes. He drifted off into his own fitful sleep, cocooned in fear.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – Hey, this Puddle Jumper camping thing sounds like fun! Perhaps not…_


	7. The Eternal Winter

**_Chapter 7 – The Eternal Winter_**

The first thought Jennifer had as she returned to consciousness was that she had crawled into an icebox. Her teeth chattered together violently as she shivered. She opened her eyes blearily and it felt like she had not had a moment of rest because her muscles were weak and stiff.

She tried to move her arms and found that she was pressed against something softer than the hard deck under her hip. She glanced down and saw that her uniform covered arms were outside the sleeping bag and wrapped around the object filling her vision.

She smiled when she finally put things together in her cold addled mind and realised she was hugging Rodney around his middle where he was lying facing away from her. He was still asleep and she had no idea how they had got like that. She could not remember waking up or moving at all during the night. She was reluctant to extricate herself as his body was warm and cosy next to hers. She snuggled more tightly against him and shifted her arms slightly around his soft midsection through the sleeping bag. She breathed in slowly and closed her eyes.

Rodney suddenly twitched and moaned, "My back… uh… ah…!" He rolled over and trapped Jennifer's arm underneath him. Now that she had no escape, she was certain she was about to get caught in the act of holding onto him, even though she had only done it for much needed mutual warmth in the chilly air.

She winced and tried to tug herself loose, but he was too heavy. He groaned again and lifted his hands up and rubbed his pale face. His chin was darkened with stubble which was harsh against the paleness of his skin. His short hair was sticking up at alarming angles and Jennifer dreaded to think what she looked like herself.

He took one look at the ceiling and quickly closed his eyes again as he whined, "Oh, God, we're still here!"

"Good morning to you too, Rodney."

Rodney kept his eyes shut and tightened his expression. "We should've been rescued by now. Something must be very wrong with the gate!"

Jennifer suddenly had a fleeting image pass through her mind of shards of melted stargate rubble and dust turning end over end where it floated uselessly in the ever-subzero vacuum of space.

He cracked his eyes open again and turned towards her. He slowly looked down at her hand where it was still resting on his middle and then across at Jennifer's shoulder, which was the only part visible above the sleeping bag where the rest of her limb passed underneath him. He then moved his eyes up and met hers. He shot her a questioning look and then cleared his throat nervously.

He quickly rolled off her and stood up like he had been electrocuted. She begrudged the loss of the contact and her arm became cold very quickly. He stumbled and started shoving his sleeping bag off awkwardly. His breaths were panting in the cold air and the Jumper was bathed in early morning sun where it streamed through gaps in the snow covered windscreen.

"That rock solid deck is doing wonders for my sciatica," Rodney grumbled heavily as he stretched with an audible crack.

Jennifer watched him as he struggled with the sleeping bag and nearly tripped over. She looked down at the deck to the drained power cell still sitting nearby. She reached out with her hand and tested it by waving over the top. There was no heat, but when she moved her hand right onto the cell and touched it, there was still a little warmth left. It had protected them throughout the night.

But they only had three left and still over nine days before rescue would come. Things were going to get a lot worse. They may not be able to avoid physical contact to keep warm for much longer and Jennifer felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought. She quickly told herself that if it came to that, it would purely be for survival and nothing more. Heat transference was an intimate act and she was probably going to be too cold to worry about the embarrassment when or if the time came.

By the time Jennifer had sufficiently recovered to look up again, Rodney had scrambled into his coat and gloves. He was looking down at her as though he was thinking about what to say. He coughed and blinked slowly. She studied him as he held his arm over his middle and curled a gloved hand over the hidden bruise on his chest. His face was pale, to the point of being almost blue, and gaunt, and it looked like he had slept as badly as Jennifer had.

He coughed again and a massive tremble passed through his frame just before he looked away.

He went over to the bench and rummaged through the equipment while Jennifer lay back and stared up at the ceiling. She would have to get up too, but the sleeping bag was so warm and she knew the chill would clutch her heart the moment she pushed the covers away. She sighed involuntarily and her breath was visible.

Rodney was holding a couple of power bars in his hands when he walked over and swept some things aside so that he could sit on the bench above her. His voice shook as he spoke and his shaking was now easier to see as he was so close to her. He said, "I'm g-going out t-to find the eng-gines."

Jennifer sat up as he made to walk towards the rear hatch and quickly said, "Not without me!" She was not going to be lazy and sit on her hands while he risked his life out in the wilderness for both of them. She knew it would use more energy, but if would be far safer to stay together and keep him in sight.

Rodney kept shuffling onwards and Jennifer grabbed the nearest part of him she could to stop him, which happened to be his lower leg. He hissed in pain and glared down at her as he said, "Ow! I've got a chipped tibia you know!"

Jennifer quickly let go of him. She remembered far too late that he had hurt his leg, but not which one it had been. She had been unlucky.

Rodney shook out his limb as he stood unstably on his unhurt leg. He winced and breathed, "Ouch! I think you did that deliberately."

Jennifer stood up and stepped out of her sleeping bag and shuddered. She looked at Rodney sadly as she said, "S-sorry. But I'm g-going with you. I don't think I can stand b-being cooped up in the metal box for much l-longer."

Rodney shook his head and as Jennifer pulled on her own cold weather gear, he said, "It's t-too dangerous. Animals and ice and c-cold." Another massive tremble went through him and Jennifer looked at him in concern as he wrapped his arms around his chest and hugged himself. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow.

Jennifer knew how he felt. She had only spent a few seconds without the coat on and her hands were instantly changed into blocks of immobile ice. She gritted her chattering teeth and went over to him. She placed her arm over his shoulders and pulled him in close.

He narrowly opened his pale blue eyes and glanced across at her incredulously. He gave her a calculating look and then unwrapped one of his arms from himself and moved it between them and around Jennifer's back. She felt his hand on her as it curled around her waist and they were soon pressed together like Rodney was supporting her.

He moved them both over to the clear bench and they sat down. He passed her one of the power bars and they ate their insubstantial breakfast while they tried to keep as much of their heat as possible by remaining in contact.

Rodney activated and passed Jennifer an Ancient hand scanner. They huddled together on the bench and leant forwards. He was so close to her that she could see the tiny ice particles on his eyelashes. She watched them forming and moving in fascination each time he blinked and they changed.

He caught her staring and glanced across at her. "What?"

Jennifer quickly tore her eyes away and mumbled, "Nothing."

He pawed at his face with his gloves in panic and squeaked, "No, seriously, if there's something wrong with my face or you can see the signs of black frostbite on me, you won't just let me continue to look awful and not say anything!? Because I sure can't feel anything anymore."

She reached across and touched the side of his face which was pointing away from her and gently pulled, so that he had no other option than to turn his head towards her. She made a show of tracking her eyes all over his features and shook her head. She then narrowed her eyes as she spoke, "No, I don't see anything yet. Hang on though…" she squinted at his nose and frowned.

Rodney's eyes widened in fear and he tore off one of his gloves and ran his bare hand over his nose in panic. Jennifer could not help it as she shook with suppressed laughter.

Rodney lowered his hand down and snapped, "Har har, really funny, Keller."

Jennifer pushed his shoulder affectionately and chuckled. "You're just too easy, Rodney. If I'd have known you were that vain, I'd have made sure to pack a mirror."

Rodney released a long suffering sigh and looked up the ceiling. He closed his eyes and his lips moved slightly as he spoke to himself for a moment. Jennifer's grin broadened and he turned to her and looked down at the scanner in her hand. "That's a life signs detector. When we head out, I want you to keep an eye on it to make sure nothing sneaks up on us, while I track the signature from the missing engines."

Jennifer looked down at the tiny screen and saw two clear blips in the centre, which represented them.

Rodney got up and went over to the supplies again. He grabbed a canteen, a few more power bars, the gun and clips and the second scanner and stuffed them all into the pockets of his coat.

Jennifer went over and picked up the second canteen, but also went over to the med kit and pulled out a few bandages and the roll of the porous tape Rodney had had his eye on the night before to use in patching up the ship. It gave her something to focus on and the familiarity of sorting and preparing the supplies slightly eased the nervous tension inside her.

Rodney asked fearfully, "What do you need all that for? Expecting trouble?"

She furrowed her brow, "I hope not. But it's standard procedure to take medical supplies with you during a mission."

Rodney pointed up at the ceiling and raised his eyebrows. "I need to take that."

Jennifer followed his finger as she crammed the last of the gear into her coat and frowned, "The stretcher?" She looked back down at him as he watched her expectantly, "And you said that _I _was getting ready for bad things to happen! That's a little extreme, don't you think?"

Rodney picked up a coil of rope and slung it over his shoulder. "It's for the engines. I may be strapping and strong, but despite my muscles, I don't think you'll want to have hours of tedious fun popping dislocated shoulders, elbows and wrists back into place when we get back. So I think I'll take the stretcher."

She found it strangely intriguing; the way he always found excuses to try and build himself up and try to make out that he had no physical human failings or weaknesses. Jennifer did not question him, but she knew the truth.

Jennifer rolled her eyes at his comment and shrugged, "Alright, but don't think I'm letting you near the defibrillator again, even if you swear that you can use the components to build a whole new ship with a hyperdrive to get us out of here."

"Now there's an idea." Rodney mumbled with a dreamy expression.

"Rodney!"

"Alright, alright." He went over to the cold weather gear bag and pulled out face masks, goggles and snow shoes and passed her a set. As they put them on, Rodney's voice was muffled when he said, "But if you don't keep an eye on that scanner and something tries to eat us for breakfast, I'll be putting this ship back together with bandages and that tape I know you're hiding, whether you like it or not."

Rodney passed her a belt with a large hunting knife in a sheath attached. She clipped it around her waist as he took the second one and wrapped it around his coat. When she was done, Jennifer adjusted the goggles and pulled the hood down over her head and fastened it tightly.

She soon found that her face was far too hot. Her breath was warm against the material covering her mouth as she said, "Just how cold is it outside anyway?"

Rodney fumbled with his scanner and pressed a few buttons, "About minus five Celsius."

"Could be worse," she said quietly.

Rodney hummed and patted his pockets down before he turned back to her. She found that her peripheral vision had now all but gone, and had been replaced with the feeling that she was in a cage where no cold air could get in or out or touch her skin anymore.

Rodney reached up and pulled the stretcher down from its supports on the ceiling. He tucked it under his arm and approached the rear hatch release button.

He turned back to her briefly and mumbled, "Ready?"

She nodded and Rodney pressed the control.

The hatch jerked as the emergency release let it drop without any power and a brilliant white, but freezing cold blast entered the Jumper and swirled around them.

Even though the goggles were designed to shield her eyes from the glare, Jennifer still blinked at the sudden brightness. She stepped out of the Jumper and, for the first time since it had rapidly come up to meet them during the crash, she saw the ice world where it lay locked in the grip of a harsh and eternal winter.

They had landed on the gently sloping side of a mountain. There was a wide furrow in the deep snow behind the Jumper which had been ploughed and allowed them to eventually slow down and stop. It had made a long and unsightly scar across the virgin snowfall.

There were a few trees nearby, which looked almost black against the clean snow and ice. She turned around and went over to help Rodney as he pushed the hatch up and closed it, so that nothing could get inside and steal their supplies. It shut with a reassuring clunk and Rodney dusted the snow off his hands first and then off Jennifer's shoulders.

She brushed away the flakes which had landed on top of his hood and was glad that he could not see her expression as she smiled at his expense.

His body language was awkward as he gestured out across the top of a glacier pressed up against the sides of a wide valley between the mountain they had crashed upon and another one several miles away. The sun was kissing the whole scene but there seemed to be no heat radiating from the light it produced. It was like a beacon in the sky, with no other purpose than to bathe everything in glorious pale white light on the bright, but cold, winter's morn. There were no clouds veiling the dark blue sky overhead, but the crisp and chilled air was filtered and warmed by her face mask so that it did not sting her nose or lungs as she breathed.

It was beautiful, but terribly lonely and desolate. She felt small where she stood in the centre of the stunning but overwhelmingly gigantic scenery like she was on her own, even with Rodney standing right next to her. She had to look at him to anchor and reassure herself that she was not the only living thing in the whole universe.

The sun flashed off a point at the top of one of the mountains and washed out the entire scene for a moment as Jennifer was dazzled.

She was instantly shaken out of her thoughts when Rodney shouted, "You still want to be out here? I think you should stay behind."

She winced at the volume of his voice in the silence surrounding them and said, "You don't need to be so loud, Rodney, or you'll bring the whole mountain down on us."

His shoulders slumped and he tilted his head back and looked around. He turned back to her and shifted between his feet in embarrassment. "Uh, could you wait here for a moment while I, um, take a walk in the trees?"

Jennifer said, "We shouldn't split up! You told me yourself it's dangerous out here!"

Rodney bent his knees a few times and mumbled, "I'll only be a few minutes."

"What are you…? Oh!" Jennifer felt a blush of her own covering her face and said, "Okay, I'll come with you a little way '_into the trees' _too, I think."

Rodney sighed and stalked off to find a convenient bush or tree. Jennifer followed him for a while and then took care of her own business. She sure felt cold after she was done and made it as quick as possible before she lost all feeling in her rear.

As she finished and stood up straight, she heard a rustle and a twig snapping nearby. She fumbled with the sheathed knife in the belt strapped around her waist as the fear gripping her heart made her hands shake. The trembling made it very difficult to get the weapon ready to defend herself, but she managed it eventually.

She pulled out the life signs detector that Rodney had activated for her and glanced at the three dots on the screen. Two were still, but a third was tracking and hunting her as it got closer.

She held the knife as tightly as possible as the creature paused behind a nearby tree where she could not see it. It suddenly jumped out at her.

Jennifer thrust the blade forwards and only narrowly missed plunging it into the abdomen of her attacker. She cried, "Rodney!" as she restrained her hand and diverted the weapon at the last moment. "I nearly shoved this knife in your gut! I thought you were an animal."

Rodney rapidly stepped backwards and held up his hands widely, "D-Do I look like a dangerous animal?

Jennifer did not answer.

He eventually came over to her and said, "You've got a life signs detector, haven't you?"

"Yes, but it's showing three readings. There's something out here with us. I thought the moving reading I saw _was_ that something."

Rodney glanced down at the knife she still held and said, "Keep it out and stay behind me."

Rodney pulled out his own scanner and the gun in his pocket. He sighed in annoyance when he had to pull his glove off to get his finger through the gap and onto the trigger.

He slowly walked forwards and his feet crunched in the snow quite noisily.

Jennifer looked down at her scanner again and said, "It's gone!"

Rodney glanced at his own and shrugged. "That's odd. But we've got engines to find and it's only a few hours before night falls again. Just make sure you monitor it. We don't want anything sneaking up on us."

Jennifer nodded and frowned in concern when she briefly saw Rodney's uncovered hand. His fingernails were purple and his fingers were red, but she only saw it for a moment before he put his glove back on and pocketed the gun.

She sheathed her knife slowly as they made her way back to the Jumper. When they arrived, she grabbed the rope he had left on the ground before he could protest and he hefted the folded stretcher under his arm. Jennifer kept the scanner held in her other hand and every now and then she would look at it, but most of the time she had to concentrate on her feet, as Rodney led them out across the top of the glacier.

She suddenly got struck by an embarrassing thought as she mulled over nearly stabbing him in the trees. She asked, "You weren't _watching_ me back there were you?"

Rodney stopped and turned to her. He shifted his free hand about and then settled it over his chest with his arm held in tightly against the front of his body, "No. Well… not _exactly_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked dangerously.

"Um, well, I've got the gun…"

He was protecting her. In his own awkward way, he was too humiliated to admit it out loud. She sighed and said, "Alright."

He waited for her to draw alongside him so that they could continue.

After a few steps he crouched down and filled his empty canteen with snow. She did the same and tucked it back in her pocket, knowing that her body heat would gradually thaw it out to drink later.

He straightened up and as he looked back at her, he said, "Remember where we parked."

Jennifer nodded and turned around to see the tiny oblong shape of the wrecked Jumper which had now become their home and safe haven. It was the only place of refuge and security they had on the whole planet covered with vast wastes of endless nothingness.

She turned back and was careful not to step into an open crevasse as she headed out into the freeze behind who she thought was the only other living and breathing being, besides herself, for countless miles around them.

She did not yet realise how wrong she was.

* * *

_TBC..._

_A/N – Just a nice little walk out on a glorious cold winter's morn…_

_I enjoy hearing what you think so far. Single words/emoticons are fine too (yay or nay?) if you don't feel like writing an essay ;)_


	8. Snow Hunters

_**Chapter 8 – Snow Hunters**_

Rodney had seen some boring planets in his time, but this place really cut the mustard with its monochrome bleakness. The only splash of colour was the sky and even that had now become whited out by the brightness of the sun where it had risen higher during the day's progression. He was curious as to why the Ancients would have chosen to place a stargate in the system, but they had probably used it to study the glacial landforms. That was if it had been an ice covered wasteland ten thousand years ago and there was nothing hidden beneath the icy topping all over everything.

Rodney plodded across the surface of the glacier in the deep snow drift, not exactly happy to be wandering out in the wilderness, but experiencing minor amusement by the way his wide snow shoes held his weight above the snow and avoided him sinking. His feet pressed it down with a strange slightly squeaky crunching sound. He was just walking along, minding his own business, when the first impact came.

It struck him savagely in the back of the head and he thought he was going to over balance was fall. He immediately spun around and was about to fumble in his pocket for the gun to fend off the attacker from himself and Jennifer, when there was the sound of muffled laughter and another snowball whacked him in the arm.

He grumbled angrily, "What are you doing!?"

Jennifer merely crouched down and started gathering up more snow in her gloved hands. Rodney could not see her face, but he could imagine her mischievous smile.

Rodney lifted his free hand up to protect himself as she lobbed the small ball of ice his way and it smacked against his coat. It did not actually hurt, but it was the whole principal of the attack that was getting to him and working him up.

He stomped over to her and shouted, "This is serious! We need to find at least one of the engines before nightfall or we could die. The fact that we're probably going to die eventually anyway should be a sobering enough thought for you to stop. But finding the engines will make it as long and drawn out as possible."

Jennifer paused where she bent over to grab some more ammunition. She straightened up and Rodney could not tell whether she was looking at him or not through the impassive and inhuman mask made by the goggles and cloth covering her features. She cocked her head slightly, as though regarding him, and her voice was as cold as the air around them as she said, "You're right. There's very little chance we'll survive this. I'm just trying to lighten things up a little as you've done nothing but moan and complain and doom us both with everything you've said since we got here!"

Rodney stumbled backwards away from her and stuttered, "I… no… uh…" He knew she had a point, but that was no excuse for throwing missiles at him. "Well, it's true though, we _are_ going to die," he finished quietly.

Jennifer scooped up some more snow and chucked it at him without bothering to press it into a ball. It lost its cohesion in the air and sprayed all over him. He flinched as he turned his face away and shut his eyes, even though he the goggles on.

His rage was building and he dropped the stretcher he was carrying and crouched down. He grabbed a handful of snow himself and then tossed it at Jennifer.

She hunched her shoulders and turned away so that it hit her back. She uncurled and faced him. She nodded and laughed, "That's more like it!"

Rodney huffed and pursed his lips furiously under the face mask. They really did not have time for this and Jennifer's attempt to get through and maybe to even try and cheer him up a little had failed as he was now angry as hell.

To try and draw her away from her fun and games at his expense, and get her mind focused back on the task, he asked, "Have you seen any other life signs yet?"

Jennifer shook her head without checking. She said sarcastically, "Well, I'm just really lucky, I think, because it's still only _you_ with me."

Rodney nodded in relief. "We should really keep going."

Jennifer hung her head down sadly and Rodney picked up the stretcher again. She drew alongside him and Rodney felt deeply miserable that he might have upset her. He looked across at her and closed his eyes briefly and steeled himself for what he was about to say. Jennifer was staring at the ground. The rope was hanging from her shoulder and she now had the scanner out again in her gloved hand.

Rodney knew he had to try and redeem himself, so he gritted his teeth and said, "When this is all over, I promise you can throw all the snowballs you want at me."

Jennifer turned her head to look at him.

Rodney waved his free hand about, "But I'll be chucking them at you too."

Jennifer reached across and rested her gloved hand on his upper arm, "I'll definitely be remembering that offer! Do you think we'll survive?"

Rodney really did not know. His pessimistic side had done nothing but stack all the odds up against them and assure him that the probability that they would live to see the close of the next fortnight was so close to zero that it was negligible. But he could not help the small voice which told him that that still meant there was a tiny chance they would be alright. Hope still flickered dimly like an unquenchable candle against the cavernous void of his negativity. His ever-present arrogance fanned the sad little flame and kept it going. It told him that if they found the engines and he got them back, he would be able to do anything and they would be saved for sure.

After the issue with staving off hypothermia had been sorted out, food would be their next main concern. Eight MREs and a scant few power bars stood between them and the pain of starving to death. That was if his hypoglycaemia let him get so far as to feeling that hungry.

Jennifer suddenly held up her hand and spun around. Rodney was instantly filled with adrenaline and his alertness to their surroundings increased. He turned to see what she was looking at. She pointed out across the expansive glacier they were trekking across, back towards the mountain marking their crash site and home several miles away. They were about in the centre of the glacier and half way to the first engine according to Rodney's calculations.

Jennifer moved the life signs detector so that Rodney could see it too. There was a third blip at the edge and as he watched, he saw it zipping across the distance at a terrifying speed. He dropped the stretcher again in shock and quickly removed his glove and pulled the gun out of his pocket. His hand was instantly cold and his joints creaked painfully as he curled his index finger around the trigger and stood ready.

He was tense and alert and his heart thumped inside his chest. He motioned to Jennifer, and his voice broke as he said, "Get behind me."

Jennifer's voice was low, but near enough for him to envision her muttering right into his ear as she breathed, "It's close. Straight ahead."

"I don't see anything!" Rodney muttered in panic. "How can I shoot what I can't see?!"

"It's coming, just a few metres."

Rodney's eyes scanned across the endless whiteout before him and he still could not see it. His goggles were not helping, so he reached up and shoved his hood back so that he could tear them off. The cold was a shock to his system, but it only served to make him more wary.

Now that he could see properly, he suddenly caught a glimpse of movement in the snow. He could hear it too without the muffling effect of the padded material over his ears. Whatever it was, it was well camouflaged and small. He had been seeking something like a polar bear or walrus, as his mind was only filled with scary monsters in his assumption that whatever was after them would be massive and terrifying.

He squinted through the glare of the sun overhead as the rays reflected off the snow and into his face. The glare tried to blind him in two directions, above and below, but he could still see well enough.

When it came into view properly, Rodney saw that it was the size of a large cat and it just looked like a giant snowball with legs. It bounded over to them at an unnatural speed on legs hidden underneath its long fur which was trailing along in the snow. Now that it was closer and Rodney no longer had his goggles on to distort the colours, he saw that its fur was actually slightly brownish yellow against the snow.

It abruptly stopped a couple of metres away and sniffled. It turned what Rodney assumed was its head up and tiny black eyes peeked out at him from under the fur. It stayed dead still and if Rodney had not known it was there and kept his eyes on it, it would have blended into the landscape for sure. He wondered how many he had already seen and not noticed.

Jennifer said, "It's not on the life signs detector anymore!"

Rodney frowned. How was that possible? He slowly walked over to it in curiosity and it shivered, making all of its fur undulate and bristle. He turned to Jennifer and saw that she had also removed her head coverings and her face was pink. He smiled and asked, "Hungry?"

She raised her eyebrows and then looked back at the creature as it snuffled again. "Rodney McKay! I'm astounded that you could think such a thing!"

He shrugged, "It's him or us. And our MREs aren't multiplying. It doesn't look like anyone's coming for us and we wouldn't have to worry about the meat rotting in this giant freezer."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes down at the animal and then folded her arms over her chest, "Maybe so, but it looks like it's just a ball of fluff. I don't think there's even one meal in it."

Rodney got closer and reached out to touch or even pat the animal, but it must have seen him, because it sniffed noisily in anger and then appeared to roll away as it fled. He was sad that it had gone, but his nose was frozen onto his face and he could no longer feel his ears or hands and his eyelids were almost glued shut with the water leaking from them and freezing his eyelashes together.

Jennifer hastily pulled her clothing back and Rodney hesitated for a moment and scanned the ground all around them, looking for more of the creatures.

Jennifer asked through her reapplied mask, "Aren't you cold?"

Rodney pointed to himself as he looked back at her, "Canadian, remember? And I spent some time in Antarctica. Not exactly a beach holiday destination."

Jennifer shivered and drew up her hood, "Alright, but it's absolutely freezing, so, hurry up and get covered again!"

Rodney _was_ trembling in the cold, so he put his gloves back on, covered his face once more and then pulled his hood up. Once they had both shielded all their bare skin from the air, they kept going.

* * *

The clouds closed in and sealed the world beneath in shadow. Rodney was terrified and awed by the speed at which the weather deteriorated from brilliant sunshine to dull grey.

Snow began to fall and visibility became bad. Rodney had to use his scanner constantly to search for the engine they were heading towards and make sure they did not wander off course. The wind whipped up and turned the snowfall into an outright blizzard.

Rodney felt Jennifer's hand on his shoulder, not for the first time, where she kept them linked together. They were blasted unrelentingly by a dusting of snow as it swirled around the two forlorn figures out in the middle of nothingness, which could have been right next to a cliff for all that Rodney could see. The weather gave him an eerie sense of claustrophia, even though he knew that beyond the veil of snow he was actually standing in a wide open expanse.

Shouting was useless as their words were lost in the wind and they had to resort to communicating by touch and gesturing; a tap on the shoulder or a pointing hand. The coats were good, as were the head coverings, but the constant blasting took its toll and the cold always found a way to work itself under the clothes, possibly through seams, and it chilled Rodney to the core.

There was nowhere for them to shelter and Rodney gripped the stretcher as tightly as he could when it threatened to drag him along in the wind.

Soon it was so bad that he could barely see the ground. But Rodney had to remain ever watchful for pitfalls and trip hazards along with sniffling balls of fur which could signify dinner for them later if he could catch one and work up the courage to kill it. He was not sure he had it in him as they were so innocent and small. But needs must sometimes.

He knew that the rest of his team would be disappointed in him for not killing it, especially Ronon; the man who had killed and eaten anything to survive for seven years alone. But he could not be that cruel unless he was actually at the point of starvation. It had not got that far yet.

Rodney thought he saw a solid shape looming out at him from within the flurry of snowflakes as they danced down to the ground. A sudden gust of wind caught them and they were blown up into his face and left him effectively blinded and stumbling in the dark. He stopped and signalled Jennifer to check for life signs again. She shook her head and Rodney assumed that what he had seen must have just been an illusion in the blizzard, so they carried on going.

There was nothing else they could do. There was no shelter and the Jumper was miles away in the opposite direction. They had made it this far, so to give up now when they had expended so much energy in the search would be pointless.

Rodney suddenly felt something strike him on his right side. He cried out in shock as fell to the ground. He only just saved the stretcher from being torn out of his grasp and into the blizzard where he landed. Jennifer was instantly by his side and holding onto him as she helped him to stand again.

Rodney glanced around, but there was nothing but snowflakes in grey and white all around them. But the fluff monster had been invisible to both eyes and scanners. He could not understand why that was so, perhaps the animals could phase in and out of existence or maybe there was something in the atmosphere interfering with the scanners? So there may well be something else out here with them that they could not see or ever hope to defend themselves against.

Jennifer showed him the life signs detector again and he grabbed it from her and tweaked it. He tried several different things, but it stubbornly refused to show him anything other than the two blips it always had. He drew the only conclusion he could that made any sense, "I must've tripped!" he shouted in as relieved a voice as he could manage.

But he was left with a niggling doubt in his heart which he could not rationalise away as they turned and carried on slogging through the storm.

* * *

They reached the final resting place of the torn engine a while later. The blizzard had not let up or shown any signs of abating. Rodney ran a quick scan of as much as the versatile Ancient hand scanner could get within range and saw that the edge of the front was long past them and should be pulling the storm along and out of their way fairly soon.

The engine was half buried in snow and difficult to spot at first. Once they had brushed away as much of the snow as they could, which was a bit of a futile exercise as it was almost instantly covered again, Rodney discovered that it was in bad condition. It was dented and blackened and components were hanging out of it where it had been ripped off the Jumper. Rodney salvaged what he could from the partially burnt out husk and wished he had brought a bag instead of a stretcher. The coat had many pockets though, all with zips, so he pushed the parts inside and handed some to Jennifer when she held out her hand in silent insistence.

He hoped they would have better luck with the other one, which was several hundred metres away.

The engines had been lost in the initial impact to the surface of the planet and the Jumper had then been thrown back up into the air under inertia and when it landed the second time, it had dragged along the surface and finally stopped. Rodney cursed the Ancients for their shoddy workmanship and the poor design and weakness in the Jumper created by the way the engines fanned away from the main fuselage with only a relatively thin and weak structure which was not very resistant to crashing on barren ice worlds.

They took a break then and both sat perched on the engine to prevent getting buried in snow. While they sat with their sides pressed together, they ate the power bars and drank the small amount of water which had thawed enough to do so.

Rodney stretched out his legs which were aching from their long and difficult walk. The bruise on his shin throbbed constantly and he narrowed his eyes in pain. The goggles hid his expression from Jennifer and he could screw up his face as much as he liked and know that she would not see or get concerned about him.

* * *

When they found it, the second engine was in much better condition and Rodney decided that the whole thing might be salvageable. He could see that it had the potential to be used as an actual engine to get them off the planet and investigate what had happened to the gate. Although the planet was certainly warmer than the dead of space and there was air and plenty of water.

He knew it would take a long time to fix the engine, but they were not exactly going anywhere and it would at least give him something useful to do to kill the time while he waited for death.

With Jennifer's help, he loaded it onto the stretcher and fastened the rope around the handles securely so that it could be dragged. Rodney took the ropes in his gloved hands and batted away all of Jennifer's attempts to help him.

The engine was very heavy and even with the stretcher and the poles running through it, it was still difficult to shift. Rodney heaved and panted and found that much of the coldness left him in exertion as he strained his muscles against the weight. His hands soon hurt from gripping the rope and when he paused for a moment he found that he could no longer uncurl his fingers at all, they were so stiff and sore.

Rodney had been correct in his weather forecast and the wind gradually eased off and the blizzard turned into normal snowfall so that they were able to speak again. Jennifer used her new powers to coerce him. She shoved him away from the engine and pressed the life signs detector into his gloved hand. He was too drained and weak to resist and she said, "My turn!" as she picked up the reins and pulled the engine for a while.

Rodney felt guilty as he was a man and stronger than her and it should have been his job to exert himself and drag the heavy weight over the uneven surface of the glacier. If it had not been so icy, he knew it would have been near impossible for either of them to shift it.

Rodney was about to push Jennifer aside to pull the engine when he saw another shape pass through the falling snow ahead. He held up his arm to stop her and studied the scanner in confusion. There was nothing there.

A sudden high pitched swishing sound reached his ears and his heart clenched in fear. He said, "There's definitely something out here! But I can't see it!"

The shadow seemed to be running circles around them and Rodney tugged off his glove and pulled out the gun. He clicked off the safety as Jennifer laid the ropes down in the snow and retrieved her knife.

Rodney's eyes flickered all around them in terror as he turned in a circle on the spot trying to find the shadow again before it found _them_. It seemed to be toying with them, whatever it was. He hoped it was just an illusion created by the disorientation and poor visibility in the snowfall, but he had to be sure. So they waited a couple of minutes and then kept on waiting. He kept the goggles on this time as they shielded his eyes from the falling snow.

Movement behind Jennifer suddenly caught his eye as he looked around her. A bipedal shape came charging at them from out of the gloom.

It was massive; at least twice Rodney's height. The first thought Rodney had was that it was the abominable snowman as it rushed towards them. But then it fell down onto all fours and seemed more like an extremely large, white, furry tiger. He could not see all of its features, but it was clearly aggressive as it roared and continued to bear down on them unrelentingly.

Rodney shoved Jennifer out of the way of the animal running at them and used superhuman effort to tense the muscles in his dead finger to pull the gun trigger a few times. The creature howled in pain as the bullets found their mark. It was hard to miss the thing, as it was so large, but it still kept on coming. No matter how many bullets hit it, it did not slow down or stop.

Rodney had nearly emptied the entire clip when it ploughed right into him and knocked him down. He held his right arm up to shield his head from the impact and his forearm bore the brunt of the heavy weight as it collided with him. He lost the gun as he fell.

The back of Rodney's head bounced off the hard packed ice where he landed flat on his back from the force of the blow. Only sinking into the soft snow saved him from cracking his head open and being killed instantly, but he was left dazed and too slow to move out of the way. His right arm had gone completely limp after the hit, so he lifted his left arm up to protect his head, but he was far too cold and numb to feel any pain yet. The adrenaline was also doing a job of blocking it out so that he did not have anything nasty distracting him from fighting for his life. He was not even sure whether he was hurt at all or how badly yet.

He tried to roll away, but the creature merely used its over-proportioned paw to swipe across his vulnerable midsection, splattering the white ground bright red in the process. He screamed in pain as the adrenaline finally failed him and stopped being able to prevent him feeling everything that was happening to him.

He was on the verge of losing consciousness and totally helpless to do anything as the monster roared and placed its heavy paw on him. A ton of hairy monster hide, fur, claws and teeth weighed down on him and he felt his bones splintering and protesting under the strain. Putrid breath, which had a smell of rotten meat, and a stench of unclean fur filled his nose as it went right through the face mask. He was totally surrounded by pain and fear of the animal trying to kill him.

He struggled and squirmed desperately under the weight and peered down along himself. He watched the long claws flexing out of its paw, dangerously close to stabbing him in the chest as it crushed the breath from him and trod him into the snowdrift like a bug. He kicked out at it and his feet hit something, but the creature made no reaction that it had felt the impact; it had probably only struck thick fur anyway.

Rodney gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he waited for death to finally take him away and release him from the suffocating agony. With his fading awareness he clung to the hope that in his death he had at least distracted the creature for long enough so that Jennifer could get away and not be destined to suffer the same horrific fate.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – You do all know I'm a Rodney whumper, right?_


	9. Tears on a Broken Wing

**_Chapter 9 – Tears on a Broken Wing_**

Jennifer held the hilt of her knife tightly as she stood back to back with Rodney. She kept her eyes widely open in constant fear of what Rodney had seen hunting them through the veil of snowfall. He suddenly placed a hand on her arm and forcefully pushed her. He shoved her so hard that she flew out of the way and landed in the snow a few metres away.

She kept hold of the knife and only just missed landing on it as she rolled over. Her arm hurt where she had landed and she was sure that there was now a massive hand shaped bruise on her arm. She was going to shout at Rodney angrily over the attack, but when she rolled over onto her behind and sat up, she was just in time to see a large white animal shape pounce on Rodney where he stood.

There were several bangs from the gun he held as it loosed bullets into the creature. But the sounds were lost in the wind and muffling effect of the snowflakes and her hood.

The entire scene before her played out in slow motion and her heart lurched in fear as it was doused in the icy grip of the shock, which was nothing to do with the outside temperature beyond her warm coverings.

The creature landed on top of Rodney where it had leapt up into the air and slammed into his arm. The gun flew from his grip and she watched its path through the air and marked its landing place in her mind.

Suddenly everything ramped back up to terrifying full speed once more and she looked on helplessly as Rodney disappeared under the furry white shape as it beat him to the ground and trampled him.

Jennifer shouted in fright, "Rodney!"

She heard a high pitched shriek as she saw the flash of claws as the monster slashed him.

Her pounding heart galvanized her to push herself upright. She had to try something or the animal was going to kill him. If it had not already. She let the adrenaline guide her as she ran over to where she thought the gun had landed. As she went, she tore off her gloves, hood and face coverings so that she could see and feel properly.

Snow blasted her in the face and her eyes streamed as they darted around on the ground to try and find the gun before it was too late to help him. Panic gripped her tightly and squeezed until she could hardly get enough of the cold air into her lungs not to pass out. She could not find the gun, so she fell onto her knees and swept away the snow and dug around with her bare hands.

After a few seconds, she could no longer feel her fingers and she begged the whiteness in front of her, "Please! Please, it's got to be here!"

Her hand brushed something solid and she grabbed it. She shook the snow away from the cold, dark metal and quickly stood up and aimed.

Rodney was flailing around underneath one of the monster's paws as it pressed him into the snow and kept him pinned. He was scrabbling and shoving at the oversized paw, but only with his left hand. His right arm lay out to the side uselessly.

Jennifer's hand shook and she knew there were only a few bullets left between Rodney living or dying. His life was now in her hands. She had to get closer as she had to make every bullet count.

She swallowed her fear and shook the hair out of her eyes as a cold gust blew it across her face. She aimed the gun and pulled the trigger.

The bullet flew out and found its mark dead on. It struck the monstrous beast right in the head and its eyes slid shut. It relinquished its hold on Rodney and rolled over and off him.

Jennifer pocketed the gun as she stumbled over to him. She checked to make sure that the monster was indeed dead first, and then fell to her knees beside Rodney's still form and looked down.

She whispered, "Don't be dead! Please, don't be dead and leave me all alone in this frozen hell."

All around her the snow seemed to slow down to the consistency of tears. It was almost as though it knew what had happened and was offering her its sympathy in the only way it knew how. There was no colour left in the whole world as the entire scene faded out to grey. Jennifer pulled the goggles and face mask off Rodney and undid his collar to feel for a pulse to find out for certain whether his heart was still beating.

Snow was settling on him as it continued to fall. Rodney cracked open his eyes as Jennifer leant over him. She smiled in relief as she wormed her hand into his coat and pressed her fingers against his neck. His skin was warm and it burned her cold fingers. She could barely feel his pulse under her icy digits, but what she did feel was rapid, and definitely there.

The only colours she could see in the endless dullness were the blue of his eyes and the garishly bright red blood he had lost where it jarred against the clean, white snow all around him.

His eyes became glassy as he gazed up at her curiously, but he did not seem to actually be looking at her. White flakes landed on his face and clung to his pale pink skin and threatened to take him away and hide him. He suddenly shut his eyes and flinched.

Jennifer removed her hand from his throat and glanced along him, looking for injuries. He still had his eyes shut and Jennifer said, "Oh, Rodney! What did it do to you?"

He scrunched up his face and it was clear that he was in terrible pain from an injury hidden beneath the thick padding of his coat. He was only responding to what his body was telling him and did not answer or even acknowledge Jennifer's presence. She knew she had to triage him quickly and get them back to the Jumper as fast as possible as there may be more of the animals around looking for their dinner.

There were a couple of slashes across his torso and his coat was torn and bloody around them. Snow had stuck to the liquid and turned it a gory shade of pink. His face was tight in pain but then it started to smooth out and his mouth hung open.

Jennifer quickly patted his cheek, "Rodney? Stay with me!"

He lifted his left arm up out of the snow where he was becoming buried and started to blindly wave it about pitifully and desperately. She knew he was looking for something as an outlet and anchor, so she grabbed the hand and squeezed. His hand tensed and clutched hers tightly and then he held on for dear life.

"My arm…" he groaned in deep distress. "It's so hard to breathe…"

Jennifer looked across at the limb he had still not moved and shifted herself round. She said, "I need my hands."

Rodney was reluctant to let go of her, but eventually he did. Jennifer very gently took his right hand and said, "Can you squeeze my hand or make a fist?"

The hand spasmed in hers and Rodney cried out in agony.

She said, "Okay, that's a no then."

She felt along his arm and elicited more pained sounds and a scream when she reached his shoulder. Rodney rolled away from her and sat up. He dragged his arm along limply in the snow and glared back at her with his teeth bared as his breaths came in ragged and shallow gasps. He reached up with his left hand and wiped the snow away from his face.

He furrowed his brow and was about to fall backwards in the snow again, when Jennifer rushed over and knelt down behind him. She placed her hands on his back and caught him. She kept a gentle, but firm hold on him to prevent him slipping backwards and suffering a jarring impact in the snow. She rested her chin on his left shoulder and pressed the side of her uncovered face against his damp hair and spoke into his ear.

"I think your arm's broken, possibly your shoulder too. We have to move though or we'll both be monster food."

She could feel him trembling in her grip and drew a bandage out of her pocket and pressed it down over his coat against the cuts across his abdomen and chest. She wrapped her arms around him to increase the pressure and he jolted and panted.

If she had not been so close to him as she hugged him, she probably would not have heard his weak voice. "I can't… Jennifer… please… just leave me. We don't have to both die and I'm sure there are more snowman tigers out here."

Jennifer steeled herself, "I'm not leaving you. Come on!"

Rodney shook his head and she felt his body tense up next to her. She cradled his back against her chest as tightly as she dared so as to not further hurt him.

She tied the straps of the bandage around his back. The pad was nowhere near big enough to stop the blood flow if his skin underneath was as badly lacerated as the jacket. She had nothing to use to splint his arm or secure it against him and she thought that may not be a good idea anyway if he had also hurt his shoulder or chest.

Jennifer's teeth chattered together and she wished she had not so hastily thrown away her goggles and gloves. She pulled Rodney's hood up and covered him as best she could and then drew her own hood down as far as it could go.

He reached up with his left hand and rubbed it against his face and hung his head down. She could feel his rapid breaths and grabbed his hand and held it tightly. She said, "We have to go, now!"

Rodney gritted his teeth and Jennifer moved herself away from him and pulled him up. His arm flopped down uselessly by his side and he let loose a strangled cry and tilted his face up towards the sky.

He staggered a little as he got his balance and Jennifer drew his uninjured arm over her shoulders. She turned to him and saw that, as he breathed through his teeth, snow was settling in his hair. Tears were running down his pale face and slowing down as they froze onto his skin. He closed his eyes and squeezed more water out of his eyes and scrunched his face up in such pain that Jennifer's heart twinged in sorrow for him.

Jennifer kept hold of his icy hand in her own and drew him in close to her and kept him upright as they started the uneven and traumatic stagger back to the Jumper. She had to leave the engine behind as her legs and arms already ached unmercifully from the walk and pulling the engine pod. She only had strength left to lug him back to the Jumper.

She drew out the scanner and tracked the steadily nearing dot which represented their destination. It was slow going and Rodney was a heavy burden across her shoulders. He sagged down as he started to flag and became difficult to support.

Jennifer turned to him and moved him up against her. He had his eyes closed again and she cried, "Rodney?!"

He mumbled through quivering lips, "I'm c-c-c-cold."

"Just a couple more steps. If you can hold on for a few more minutes, I'll have you back in the Jumper and all fixed up."

"Sounds warm…" he slurred, but he still managed to draw more strength from his reserves and placed a little more of his weight on his own feet.

For a while they sped up and the snow continued to fall all around them. Jennifer also realised that it was starting to get greyer. She knew that meant that night was falling as the sun sunk lower in the sky where it was hidden beyond the clouds.

Not a moment too soon, she saw a dark shape representing the outline of their home visible through the falling flakes. Luckily nothing else had attacked them as she knew the gun was empty. She did not think she would have had a chance of fighting off another snow tiger with just Rodney's knife which was still clipped to his waist.

She released the emergency door opening mechanism from outside and pulled Rodney along inside. She lay him down on his back on the deck and untangled herself from him. She stood up and went to the rear hatch as snow encroached inside the ship where the wind blew an icy breeze through the open door. She quickly emptied out one of the crates and ran outside. She swept as much snow and ice as she could inside and sealed the lid. She then went back inside the Jumper, put the crate on the rear bench and pulled the hatch up and sealed them inside.

She instantly felt a lot warmer without the cold wind against her skin and it was quiet, to the point of silence, without the howling blizzard going past her head. There was a soft moan from the floor behind her and she pushed her hood down and turned around. Rodney was still conscious, but barely. His eyes were closed and more tears were leaking from him as he lay there.

Now that their immediate survival had become less urgent, Jennifer emotionally detached herself from the fact that the injured man who lay before her was the only other person she had to talk to on the whole planet. She also knew that he may well end up being the last person she would ever speak to before she died.

If she let him die then she would be left all alone. What would Rodney's friends say if that happened? What would Sheppard say? Despite Rodney's unfailing pessimism and sarcasm, and the arguments and rows they had had since the crash, she found herself inexorably drawn to him. Every moment she spent in his company, she could not help the growing need deep inside her to get closer to him and to reach out and touch him; and at the moment, to hold onto and comfort him in his pain and vulnerability. His heroism astounded her. He had suffered all these injuries for her; to selflessly protect her against the monster. It had been a stupid thing to do, but she was still grateful to him.

She buried her feelings when her heart clenched in fear, until he became just another human in pain and need of her care.

She grabbed the medical kit along with all the blankets she could find. She knelt down next to him and he appeared to have lost consciousness as his face was now slack and no longer marred by the signs of the pain he had been enduring.

She clicked on several emergency torches for light, and used a match to turn on the camping gas flame for instant heat.

Her hands were beginning to thaw out in the relative warmth of the Jumper and they smarted and burned, but she ignored it as best she could. Her fingers fumbled with the zipper on Rodney's jacket, which had become stiff with blood where it had frozen into the material. She removed the bandage around his middle and then unzipped the coat. She took the scissors from the med kit and slit the sleeve of the jacket. A few more cuts later and she had it completely open. She had to do it to get to his injured arm and shoulder, even though it meant that they now only had one coat left, the one she was wearing.

His shirt was shredded and blood had soaked into it. Rodney shivered and winced. Jennifer reached down and held onto his unhurt hand again. He opened his eyes and glanced down at her bloody hand held in his.

His face fell in shock and he mumbled, "Is that mine? Oh, God! It is, isn't it? But I can't feel it!"

Jennifer said, "I'm trying to find out how badly you're hurt. You're being very brave, Rodney. Just a little while longer."

He moved his head back and rested it on the deck and gazed up at the ceiling as he said sadly, "I should've been more forceful to make you stay behind. Now we're both going to die here."

"You've still got many more years left in you if I have anything to do with it!"

Jennifer let go of his hand and pushed up his shirt. There were two long and ugly jagged edged gashes across his torso from the claws. They ran diagonally over him, one started on his right side, level with his navel, and ran across his abdomen, just beneath his ribs, and ended under his breastbone at the sensitive collection of nerves at his solar plexus. The second one ran parallel with the first, but ended on his chest, right over his heart. They were not deep enough to have punctured any of his internal organs, but certainly enough to bleed quite profusely and require stitches to seal and stop the leaking red fluid.

His thickly padded coat had prevented the claws from tearing his flesh too badly. But the medical supplies were very low and there was little hope that there were enough antibiotics to avoid infection on such long lacerations. The wounds were still bleeding and dried blood was streaked across his skin.

She shifted her eyes as she took in the rest of him. The cold had done a good job at numbing and keeping the swelling down, but now that he was in relative warmth the external signs of his injuries were spreading before her eyes. His forearm was out of alignment and needed to be set. She looked over him more thoroughly and ran her hands across him, checking for further damage. He flinched when she reached a large area of dark bruising on the upper right side of his chest. The bruise he had sustained in the crash had paled into insignificance compared to the new injury.

As she brushed her hand across his collar bone, she tore an animalistic scream of pain from him and he gasped. She felt his ribcage and found one break. She knew her hands were cold and he twitched under her touch.

He held his breath and muttered, "Please stop, Jennifer… it _hurts_…"

She finished her survey, stroked his damp and messy hair, and then ran her hand down to the back of his neck and held him. "It's okay. I'm here. You'll be alright."

She quickly tore the lining from his wrecked coat. She went over and grabbed the crate she had filled with ice. She wrapped some of the cold shards inside the coat and then went back over to Rodney. She placed it all around his broken arm to numb it and slow the progress of the internal bleeding.

His face was pale and frightened and he whispered weakly, "How bad is it?"

Jennifer glanced along his body and then up into his eyes. His gaze begged her for the truth and she told him. "I'm really sorry, Rodney. You've got a broken arm."

He turned away and closed his bloodshot eyes in anguish as more water leaked from them and ran across his face. She furrowed her brow and continued, "You've also got a broken rib and your clavicle's seen better days."

He inhaled a sharp breath in a sob and shivered. Jennifer rested her hand on his forehead and he narrowly opened his eyes up at her. She looked on him kindly and gestured down to his torn midsection, "You also took a hit from the snowman. You're cut quite badly. I'll need to stitch you up and I'll even throw in a free arm setting."

Rodney grimaced. Jennifer moved her hand down to his stubble roughened cheek and gently ran her thumb over the tear tracks and wiped them away. "Thank you, Rodney. You saved my life out there and for that, I'll work as quickly as I can. I know it hurts, but I don't have any morphine, and even if I did, I'd hesitate to use it as it suppresses breathing. With your broken rib and near hypothermic state, I just wouldn't be able to risk it."

He nodded up at her and then tilted his head back and steeled himself, "Just do it."

Jennifer held his face for a little while longer and then set to work on suturing the cuts. She swabbed his skin in disinfectant and he trembled and squirmed away from her as he held his breath. She gripped his side firmly to keep him still and carried on. She cleaned the blood off and then expertly stitched together the swollen edges of the sliced skin. It was hard work and required nimble dexterity which she had lost due to the coldness of her hands. She kept on having to stop and warm up her hands in her pockets. Rodney's hitching breaths were not helping either as he kept on moving the position Jennifer had to be in to seal the wounds. She let him have that though and did not say anything. Without anaesthetic she could only imagine how much pain he was in and he hardly made any sounds at all, other than a few low moans and whimpers, throughout the whole procedure.

When she was done, she disinfected and cleaned the area again and wrapped him up in fresh bandages; the ironic use of the tape Rodney had had his eye on earlier was not lost on her, but he was not really paying any attention to exactly what she was doing by then. She pulled his shirt back down and smoothed it out over his chest.

She moved onto his arm next. She peeled back the ice coverings and found that his forearm was swollen and dark with internal bleeding, but it seemed to have stopped for now. Without access to an x-ray machine or the Ancient medical scanner she could not tell whether it needed to be set using open reduction. Even if it did, out here in the wilderness with no access to proper supplies or anaesthetics, that would just be cruel. He had already endured too much pain that any human should ever have had to suffer through from his multiple fractures and cuts. His burden of agony was already too great to bear and if the blood loss didn't kill him, the infection which was sure to follow would, as conditions were nowhere near sterile enough. Antibiotics might be able to help the cuts across his abdomen and chest, but it was unlikely that they would be strong enough to fight it away from his arm.

She placed the ice back down around the fractured limb and went hunting around the Jumper for a splint. She knew she was going to have to hurt him to make him better. In fact it would probably be the most painful experience he had ever had. She hated that she was about to become the source of his greatest pain, but in the end it would be for his own good.

She eventually found some sturdy looking rods which had held down the deck plating Rodney had pulled up the night before to access the drones. She retrieved several of them and found that they were light, strong and straight, and just about the right length for Rodney's forearm.

On her way back, she grabbed some more tape and bandages and a piece of cloth from the remnants of his coat the floor.

As she knelt down by his injured arm, she looked up into his face and saw that he was scared and watching her movements in terror. She asked, "Are you ready?"

"No! Can't you just leave it alone?!"

She shook her head, "No. You've already lost the use of your hand and if it heals incorrectly, you may never be able to use it again with the full range of movement you once had."

He turned his face away and she rolled up the cloth and held it over his face. "Bite this." She did not want to add broken teeth to his litany of injuries. He opened his mouth and clamped his teeth closed around it.

She set his arm as best she could as he bit on the cloth and his nasal breathing became noisy. As she manipulated the edges of bone back into place as quickly as she could, the cloth suddenly dropped from his mouth and he threw his head back and howled in agony. She was unfazed by the sounds he made and almost as soon as she had started, it was all over.

When she was done she splinted and wrapped up his arm. He was gasping and panting and sobbing violently and he barely managed to whisper, "Sick…"

Jennifer was immediately there and helped him sit up as she held out a small bag. The huge amount of pain he was suffering made him vomit. She rubbed his back and gave him some water and then laid him back down onto the deck where he finally, mercifully passed out. His breathing was still ragged even in unconsciousness and Jennifer finished her work and bound up his broken wing snugly against his chest.

She then wrapped him up in blankets and his sleeping bag and pulled one of the thin cushions off the rear bench and rested it under his head.

She cleared up the gear and then munched on one of the MREs from their stash. She would have to force some food into Rodney later, but he was still out of it, so she decided to call it a night.

Now that his immediate health concerns were resolved, she was allowing her emotions to creep back in. It terrified her that he was so badly hurt millions of miles away from civilisation and help. Her hands were beginning to shake and she felt fear gripping her that she could still lose him, despite all that she had done to patch him up. She held his precious and fragile life in her hands.

She was only now realising how much he truly meant to her and how important he had become in her life. His unfailing honesty was refreshing and she enjoyed the verbal sparring matches they had had. She liked his company and could not imagine a world without him. She had no idea what losing him would do to her and she vowed that she would do everything in her power to never find out.

She retrieved a drone and pulled it apart just as she had watched Rodney doing from sitting next to him last night. Her memories from before the attack now seemed to be just like a dream. A time before the true horrors of what the planet held had let themselves be known. She placed the power cell in Rodney's hand and it activated. She turned off the gas flame, put the warm and bright power cell down on the deck next to him and then curled up closely in her sleeping bag. Her limbs ached with tiredness and she felt absolute exhaustion crashing down on her.

She glanced across at Rodney's slack, pale face and moved nearer to his left side. She planted a soft kiss on his cheek and said into his ear, "Don't worry about waking me when you come round. I'll give you some painkillers and antibiotics as soon as you can keep them down."

He did not respond so she pulled the covers up over him and made sure he was not cold and then promptly fell asleep herself.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – Okay, now that the in depth medical stuff's out of the way…_


	10. Shards

_A/N – RL has me by the throat lately, so for ease of reference and to save backtracking confusion due to the slower updates, I'm going to add day markers now. Oh, and the planet has a name too (always has!)_

**_Chapter 10 – Shards_**

Rodney woke up in the morning and the first thing he saw was warm sunlight streaming through the Jumper's window. He was surprised that he had stayed unconscious throughout the whole night, but he felt a lot better than he had done the evening before. The pain of his broken bones had reduced to a constant aching rather than the blinding agony he had experienced just after they had been fractured. There was a sharp sting running around his belly and up over his chest, but again, that had diminished to something much more bearable.

He sniffed and very slowly and carefully rolled over without jarring his injuries. There was a distinct smell of bacon and eggs which made his empty stomach grumble. He looked up and got a shock when he saw that Jennifer was staring at him where she sat perched on the edge of one of the Jumper's benches.

Rodney glanced around nervously and asked, "What?"

She rubbed her hands together and her face was totally blank as her eyes bored into him. Rodney was starting to get a little worried now. "What is it?" he asked and tried to sit up, only for dizziness and pain to assail him and make him sink back down again. He whimpered pitifully and closed his eyes.

A moment later, when he had recovered enough to see again, Jennifer was crouched down next to him with the medical kit nearby. She was still looking at him and Rodney furrowed his brow in fright, "What's wrong? Oh! It's me isn't it?"

Jennifer reached over into the med kit and drew out a long, flat, covered object, which Rodney could not see properly due to his supine and helpless position. Jennifer knelt down and placed the object on her lap. She then pulled a needle out of the med kit and before Rodney could ask, she jabbed it into his arm and he could no longer move. But he could still feel the pain just as keenly as before. He grunted and would have asked what she was doing if his voice would release anything other than an incoherent moan.

Jennifer frowned and shifted her eyes to Rodney's extremely sore, broken forearm. She grabbed his upper arm in one hand and unwrapped the bandages and removed the splints around his lower arm.

She said soothingly, "You're arm's badly infected and the bones have shifted out of place again. If I don't act, you'll die. I'm sorry, Rodney, but you don't really need it. I did the best I could to save it, but I can't work miracles."

"What! Of course I need it! Stop!" Rodney screamed in panic. Although what came out of his slack mouth was just a high pitched screech.

Jennifer grabbed his wrist and painfully stretched out his limb. She then pulled a saw out of its covering on her lap. She placed it against the soft flesh of his upper arm and tilted her head at him. "You've got another one anyway. And this one's completely useless now. I have to do this for your own good. It won't take long."

She purposefully moved the blade back and forth over his skin and drew blood. Rodney closed his eyes as he lost all his thoughts and screamed and screamed as his body was drowned in agony.

* * *

_**Planet Whitefall, The Second Night (9 days until rescue)**_

Rodney woke with a start and his eyes flew open. He saw Jennifer asleep next to him and he grimaced and scrabbled away from her.

He shouted, "My arm! What've you done to me?" Only to look down at himself and realise that it was still there and what he had thought was reality had only been a terror and hunger induced nightmare, no doubt also partially caused by what she had had to do to him to set his arm without any anaesthetic.

The damage was already done though and his flailing had upset the loose edges of bone inside him. He wheezed as the pain made him sink back down onto the deck and pass out again. The last thing his frail mind showed him through the blur of tears was Jennifer coming over with her face full of sympathetic concern.

* * *

The first thing Rodney became aware of was the fiery sting of white hot pain in his body as it consumed him from the inside out. He remained floating on the edge of consciousness for as long as he could, to stay away from it, and he desperately wanted only to sink beneath the waves and drift off again.

His mind was filled with primal terror that if he opened his eyes he would have to ask Jennifer for some painkillers. He vehemently did not want to do that in case she felt that she needed to hurt him again just for her entertainment as she had done earlier.

But the pain ratcheted up a notch and he could no longer fight it down. His throat was sore and he felt dizzy. There was something rumbling in his throat and chest, which only served to make the pain radiating through his battered ribs and arm even worse than before. He had been abandoned by any form of natural anaesthetic and he wondered why the severe and constant pain alone had not killed him yet and released him from the torment forever.

He could feel something else though and it did not hurt. In fact, it was lessening the pain ever so slightly and he tried to localize it as the vibration continued in his throat. The calming sensation was centred on his belly, but lower down than the bandaged cuts which smarted and burned their trails across his abdomen and chest. The feeling was one of warmth and security and he tried to focus on that one piece of pleasantness within the midst of the agony. Strangely, the more he concentrated on the sensation, the less intense his pain became.

He decided that he really was going to have to wake himself right up so that he could ask Jennifer for some of the precious painkillers or he knew for certain that was going to be sick again. He could already feel himself trembling with hunger, but the thought of food just made him feel worse.

He opened his eyes blearily and realised that he was actually sitting upright and leaning against something that fitted the curve of his back perfectly. He then noticed that the sensation wrapped around his waist, was not so much a some_thing_, but more a some_one._

A woman whispered, "That's it, let it all out. Don't worry about it."

Jennifer was sitting behind him, hugging him around the middle as she held him upright and he then noticed that the rumble in his throat was actually the sounds of pain as they were involuntarily verbalised. He had not realised just how much noise he had been making in his valiant efforts to detach himself from his body, but Jennifer had heard and instead of sadistically grating his broken bones together again, she was only holding onto him and trying her best to alleviate the worst of his pain. In any other situation he would have been embarrassed, but it hurt too much for him to care.

He was sitting on the deck in the Jumper. Through the bulkhead doors ahead of him, the windscreen was completely dark and the only light source was a faint orange glow which he associated with warmth. He was curious as to how Jennifer had removed the drone power cell without his help, but he had more pressing concerns at the moment to do with clawing sufficient strength from his dwindling reserves just to breathe, endure and live. He knew that he had no choice other than to ride through the waves of pain engulfing him and to fight off the beckoning unconsciousness as it drew him nearer and seduced him to give in to the darkness.

He closed his eyes in anguish and hung his head down, which shifted his collarbone and made him wince and groan. He mumbled woefully, "Oh, I'm still here!"

"Nice to see you too!" Jennifer said into his ear. "Glad you finally decided to join me in the land of the living." Jennifer's grip shifted slightly and one arm moved away from him. "I don't mind the company either. How are you feeling?"

"Ready to hop, skip and jump! How on Earth do you think I'm feeling? An elephant squashed me like a grape!"

"I know. You're being very brave, Rodney." She pressed a pill into Rodney's left hand and then held out a bottle of water. "These should help; painkillers and antibiotics. You had a hell of a nightmare earlier. Gave me a bit of a fright."

Rodney swallowed the pills as she passed them to him one at a time and helped him with the water bottle due to him having one arm completely out of commission. He choked as some of the water went down the wrong way and it upset his rib. The hacking jarred through his chest and into his arm where it was strapped across him.

Rodney let loose a sobbing whimper and deeply furrowed his brow as the movement he made to make such a mournful sound only hurt him even more.

He wondered whether Jennifer was just waiting until he was fully awake and coherent before she took advantage of his weakness and hurt him again. He was pretty sure his bones had just lost alignment. It felt like his broken frame now had the consistency of twigs which would need to be frequently pushed back into place. He knew that he would gradually lose his sanity if she was going to put him through the worst and most terrible torture he had ever experienced over and over until he was hollow.

He was unsure if he could ever like Jennifer again as she had done nothing but cause him unbearable pain. How could he feel anything other than resentment and fear of a woman who took pride in her job of inflicting like that? She had never shown any remorse over what she did and now Rodney only associated her with the anguished memory of her firm hands prodding, jabbing and wrenching his injuries and making them infinitely worse.

A calm voice was talking soothingly right into his ear, but it took a while for his brain to engage enough with the real world to register the words being said. "Rodney, I want you to take some slow breaths. Breathe deeply; as deeply as you can."

He felt an incredulous bubble breaking through the surface of the pain and sorrow and whispered, "Uh, broken rib here! It really hurts."

The hands around his middle shifted slightly, but they did not press on his wounds and served to anchor him. The gentle voice spoke once more, "I know, but you have to. Just a few times and then you can relax again."

"Why?" he gasped.

"Because if you don't, you could get pneumonia."

Rodney flinched at the sudden bluntness of the voice and cried out as he was jostled. His vision was filled with white and he drew in shallow and fast breaths. He gritted his teeth with his eyes closed and willed himself to slow them down as they were causing a feedback loop of pain that was more severe, the more times he panted.

He then realised in alarm that his face was sopping wet. Had he been crying? In front of Jennifer? He felt a blush of humiliation warming his soaked cheeks and furrowed his brow. She would think of him as nothing more than a weak excuse for a man, if she even saw him as anything more than a person to be pitied and comforted like a small child.

The grip around him changed and moved around to hold his sides. "Deep breaths."

Rodney nodded and instantly regretted it, but he obliged as best he could. As his chest rose, he scrunched up his face, and Jennifer slowly breathed in time with him as spoke into his ear, "In... and... out..." Rodney's actual breaths were not quite as steady as hers and he flinched as he expected to feel his loose rib stabbing his lung at any moment. It hurt like hell, but nothing sliced him inside, so he relaxed a little as he took the next shaky breath.

Jennifer moved her hands up from behind him and placed them on either side of his face as she said, "You did good, Rodney. But you must try not to flail around like you did after your nightmare as you _have_ got a snapped arm, collar and you do actually need that spare rib."

The pain started to diminish as he sat there and she constantly kept hold of him. Not moving helped, but breathing was very difficult and his chest was tight and sore. Rodney closed his eyes and leant back against Jennifer. She yielded slightly as he moved.

She helped to gently shift him backwards until he was resting against the base of the bench, instead of her, and then made sure would stay sitting upright.

She stood up and stretched, "I'll get you something to eat. We don't want to add hypoglycaemia to your extremely _long_ list of medical complaints now, do we?"

Rodney was too weary to say anything, but he narrowed his eyes and when she turned away from him, he shot her a scathing look.

He tilted his head back against the bench behind him and as the pain level lowered to something he could just about deal with, he noticed that he was shaky and weak. He feebly raised his left hand up and felt at his face. He had been right, there was tear tracks down his cheeks and his stubble, which was fast becoming a beard, was damp.

Jennifer came back and sat down next to him. He watched as her hair fell across her grubby face. It was messy, but still amazing and he wanted to run his hand through it, even if his fingers got stuck in the incredible cascading waterfall of golden tangles.

She moved her head and shook it out of the way. She unwrapped the MRE she had and then looked across at him and thought for a moment. "You need to have something to eat. Do you think you can keep this down?"

Rodney nodded and wrenched his shattered clavicle again. He knew he should really just stop trying to move altogether if he had any modicum of self respect left for his damaged body. He gasped, "Yes…"

Jennifer looked at him kindly and was all businesslike again as she said, "Ideally I'd put you on a drip, but I don't have anything like that in the med kit, so you're going to have to eat it."

She helped him to eat a few mouthfuls before he was too weary to continue. It must have still been the middle of the night and between the pain induced unconsciousness and the long hike from the day before he was deeply tired anyway. He closed his eyes and said, "That's enough."

Jennifer nodded and sealed the MRE. She placed it in the storage container, came back and sat next to him again. She made sure she was on his left side so that she could sit so close to him that they were touching, without hurting him.

It was then that his misery sharply intensified as he came to realise that she probably did not really care about him. At least not as an individual and certainly not as a scared man called Rodney McKay, who had yet to realise or acknowledge how strong and tenacious he truly was. He convinced himself that he was not receiving any special treatment. She was just doing her job, nothing more. He was not special to her. She would have done the same for Ronon or Teyla or even Sheppard.

"Oh, God! I'm never going to see them again!" Rodney suddenly blurted out loud.

Jennifer took hold of the upper part of his uninjured arm and squeezed reassuringly. But the effect was diminished, because she did not speak and that only made Rodney know for sure that she was thinking the same thing.

They still had nine more days before the Daedalus would reach them. Nine days of the three physical adversaries Rodney feared the most; pain, hunger and cold. They would start showing up when their supplies finally ran out in a couple of days. Rodney knew that he had not fared so well and that was only the first day. He dreaded to think what might happen in the morning or what would become of them when the food and heat ran out. He did not have much faith that he would survive for very long after he had used the last of the painkillers as there would then be nothing left to ease his suffering except the open arms of death.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – surely nothing else could possibly go wrong?_


	11. Heated

_A/N – Thanks for the reviews and alerts *luffs you all* Here's some more…_

**_Chapter 11 – Heated_**

_**Planet Whitefall, The Second Night (9 days until rescue)**_

Jennifer stayed sitting next to Rodney as he started to get sleepy. Even with the cell glowing in front of them, she was still a little cold and shivering. She moved her hand behind Rodney's back and curled her fingers around his side and drew him nearer. She had to place her hand quite low, more around his hip so that she was touching his upper leg, than his waist, to avoid the cuts. He did not say anything or flinch to show that he did not like the contact. He just sighed quietly and closed his eyes.

His proximity and the warmth of his body next to hers thawed her completely and she felt a calm serenity filling her heart.

Rodney suddenly started tilting away from her as his head lolled down and his mouth slowly opened.

Jennifer said, "You'd better lie down, before you fall sideways."

Rodney turned his face towards her and blinked tiredly. He grunted in annoyance when she tried to help him.

She sighed and said, "I've got you! Why are you so afraid of letting me help you?"

Rodney patted her hands away from himself. "I don't need your help! Leave me alone!" But his strength had been utterly sapped by his injuries and pain so he was no match for Jennifer's perseverance. He eventually had to back down and very reluctantly allowed her to help him move back over to the sleeping bag. He muttered unhappily the whole time as she kept behind him to prevent her from accidentally touching or causing his injuries to shift. It was tough work and he was heavy, as she had given him some fairly strong painkillers which seemed to be helping him on the way to sleep.

Jennifer was still sitting behind him, contemplating how to untangle herself, when she suddenly realised that he had fallen asleep in her arms as she held him with them wrapped around his abdomen. She lay him down gently on the deck, being careful to support him and not move his injured limb or jar his chest too badly. She then covered him over and crawled back into her own sleeping bag.

For a while she just lay there on her side, watching him as he slept. His face twitched every now and then as the pain broke through the unconscious barriers and his breathing was still ragged, even in sleep. Eventually the hypnotising effects of his jerky inhalations and noisy expelling of air sent her drifting off into slumber too.

* * *

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Two (8 days until rescue)**_

Jennifer was rudely awoken in the morning by her freezing cold and numb arm. In her sleep she had somehow managed to move it outside the sleeping bag and it lay frozen and limp across the deck, reaching out to Rodney's totally still form, but not far enough to touch him.

She sat up and her teeth chattered together. She drew the betraying limb back into the sleeping bag and under the blankets to warm it up. She breathed heavily as it felt like thousands of red hot needles were being poked into her skin as her arm melted and the nerves came back to life.

As she sat there, she looked at Rodney, who had still not moved. Concern quickly flooded her senses, until she saw the almost imperceptible movement in the coverings just above his chest as he breathed.

She shifted herself over to him and pushed the spent power cell out of the way to get nearer. She patted his face with her hand, "Rodney? Wakey wakey, rise and shine!"

He groaned. His pale and bright blue eyes opened narrowly, took in the ceiling, then the walls and finally Jennifer, before they fluttered shut again and he furrowed his brow. He shivered and gasped, "The last time I was this cold in a Jumper with a pretty girl, I was hallucinating."

Jennifer was flattered, but there was also worry buried inside the emotion. She reached forwards and placed her cold hands on the sides of his face until he was forced to open his eyes and look at her. She glared at him intensely and said, "I'm here and I'm as real as you are. You're not alone."

Rodney's eyes were slightly glazed and he just nodded wearily and shut them again. He drifted off to sleep once more and Jennifer let him rest.

She got up, pulled the cold weather gear on again and contemplated the new day. The rotation of the planet seemed to be in keeping with Earth's, but the nights were longer. The Ancients had probably decided to place the gate in space, instead of on the planet, due to the snowfall and shifting glaciers, so that it did not get buried.

She walked to the front of the Jumper and looked out of the window. The snow had been blasted off so that she could see out and the sun was shining down through the clear sky. "Maybe they liked skiing," she said with a small smile as she took in the endless sea of white through the glass.

There was a quiet gasp and whimper behind her and she quickly spun around and saw that Rodney had thrown back the covers and was trying to stand up.

She quickly rushed over to him as he swayed and sunk back down to the floor again with a disappointed grunt. He was clearly in a lot of pain which made him more than a little grumpy. Although, as Jennifer helped him to lie back, she had not yet realised that there were not really any words in existence to describe the depth of negative emotion Rodney was capable of expressing when he was in a bad mood.

Through the gaps in his ripped shirt, she could see that the bandage around his midsection was spotted red in some places and would need to be changed. His pale skin was almost as white as the snow outside and covered in goosebumps.

He looked down and wrinkled his nose as he closed his eyes. Jennifer grabbed the med kit and as she removed the bandage she would see that he was holding his breath as his chest was completely still and his face went an unhealthy pink colour.

Jennifer gave him a long suffering smile. "You need to breathe, Rodney, or you'll give yourself a rupture."

He exhaled shakily as she cleaned his skin again. He had pulled some stitches in the night, probably after the nightmare. She wound a fresh bandage around him securely.

He kept his eyes closed as he asked, "Why am I still bleeding? Oh! I'm dying, aren't I? You're just being too nice to tell me."

"No, you're not. And you won't if I have anything to do with it. The bleeding's stopped so none of your insides are on the outside just yet."

He whimpered and scrunched up his face when she accidentally brushed her hand against his broken arm where it was bound up against his chest.

She finished wrapping him and he scrabbled around with his free hand to get up again. She helped him to sit and drew the thick blankets around his shoulders and covered him as he shook in cold and pain. She went and grabbed some more pills and gave them to him.

He sighed after he had them in his system and frowned with his eyes closed, looking thoroughly miserable. Jennifer went and grabbed the remnants of the unfinished MRE from the night before and a new one for herself.

He tilted his head back onto the bench behind him and mumbled, "You must think I'm so pathetic and weedy." He grunted in frustration as he tried to adjust his seating position and instantly had to relax in defeat when it hurt him.

Jennifer just stood there and looked on sadly with the food packets clutched in her icy hands.

Rodney used his uninjured left hand to seal the edges of the blanket together over his chest and kept his eyes closed. "I can't even sit up on my own."

Jennifer furrowed her brow and sat down next to him. She rested the MREs on the deck and reached under the blanket over him. She found his hand and drew it into both of hers. She could feel his fingers trembling and held on more tightly.

She said, "You're not weak and I've never judged anyone's worth based on their pain threshold. You shouldn't think any less of yourself or let it damage your pride if you feel you need to ask for help."

Rodney's grip shifted until he was holding her hand and returning the tightness of her grasp himself.

Jennifer took that as a sign that he had understood and taken in her words, but she continued anyway. "I've dealt with people less hurt than you and more demanding. Whatever you need; don't be afraid to ask."

Rodney opened his eyes and looked at her mischievously, "A stargate? A working Puddle Jumper? I think I'd settle for just being warm at the moment."

Jennifer smiled at him lopsidedly, "Somehow I knew you'd rise to that one!"

Rodney did not smile back.

They ate in silence and, much to Rodney's annoyance, Jennifer had to help him every now and then when only having one hand in use was not quite enough.

After they had finished, Rodney muttered, "I can't protect you anymore."

"Good, because it didn't go so well last time! Anyway, do you really think I need it? That was a brave thing you did yesterday. Totally stupid and reckless, but fearless."

A sad, small voice replied, "I don't feel very brave now."

She smiled softly back at him, "Oh, but you _are_."

Rodney sighed and turned away, "We're going to die here! If the cold or those monsters don't get us, we'll starve to death. Something will get us in the end!"

Jennifer struggled to answer that, because she knew in her heart that he was right. She was beginning to resent the constant barrage of negativity emanating from Rodney and pulling her down with him into the vortex of hopeless bitterness.

She thought he was done, but he kept facing away from her and carried on, "No-one's coming for us. Even if they are, they'll never reach us in time!"

Jennifer felt her own fear getting the better of her and clouding her mind with anger. There was only one person available to take it out on and she took advantage of that when she said, "There's not a single thread in your being which has anything positive to think or say about any situation, is there?! We could be somewhere nice and warm, surrounded by sunshine and rainbows, with plenty to eat and drink and you would still find something to complain about!"

Rodney bared his teeth and squeaked indignantly, "I get burnt in hot places!"

Jennifer flapped her hand at him, "There you go again! You see. There's always something with you, Rodney!"

He cast his eyes down as his chest hitched with each laboured breath he took. When he exhaled, the air passed by his vocal chords in whimpers of pain from his fractured bones as the movement upset the edges. "Oh, ow… Jennifer, you're still hurting me."

But she ignored him in the heat of her anger and carried on, "Answer me this, _Rodney_," she spat his name unpleasantly. "Have you ever been happy with anything in your entire life or, to you, is the whole universe just something to hate and rant on about endlessly?"

He reached across and took her wrist in a weak fingered grip, "Jennifer, don't."

She shook her hand free and Rodney cried out as he was jostled. He let his hand drop down into his lap. He was visibly shaking now and Jennifer's anger started to dissipate when she saw how sad he looked. She could not help the sympathy as it cracked the shield around the red she was seeing. She watched him as he drew his left hand up and rubbed it over his face, paying special attention to his eyes and then lowered it down and rested it over the bandages around his middle. His breaths were more under control, but they were faltering and kept stopping and starting.

His voice was quiet but vehement and biting as he said, "I thought you were supposed to care about people equally, no matter what you think of them. Isn't your special big oath not to do any harm? I think I'm bleeding again, but inside where you can't do anything about it. Because I'm not going to let you touch me again after what you did last night. It was so bad it gave me nightmares and now I can't even breathe properly!"

Jennifer's heart knotted in worry and she felt a lump forming in her throat. She was not going to apologise though, because she knew she was right.

Rodney continued, "All that you did was make things a hundred times worse, but I suppose I won't be able to do anything to stop you when I'm unconscious or dead." He glared at her, "Which is the way I'm going at the moment, what with every breath I take making that broken rib you can't fix stab my lung."

Jennifer felt the rage building again at his dismissal of the care and attention she had provided for him. She had helped him and kept him alive so many times, not just on their current fated voyage, but also when he had ended up in the infirmary on Atlantis.

She stared right back at him and snapped, "Yes, you're right, I can't fix you! But nor can you fix this Jumper! I'm not going to fly off the handle about that, but if you're going to get personal about it… I'll let you know that I find you almost totally unbearable, insufferable and selfish with your constant complaining. Ugh! You're just impossible to live with! And I'm not surprised you're still on your own! What woman in her right mind would want to be with you?"

Jennifer knew she was out of line and that her comments cut below the belt, but she was so angry and scared. Her fear was only creating more stress and tension between them which she had converted into a scathing attack on the only person around who could absorb it.

Rodney cowered away from her and his face fell in abject misery as his eyes glazed over and he blinked slowly. He did not roll over to her outburst though and he turned back to her and fixed her with a death glare. "So, you admit that even with all your voodoo and so called medical '_qualifications'_ you just ended up hurting me worse than that monster thing. Why am I not surprised? At least what I do yields results you can trust and control."

Jennifer kept her lips pinched together and allowed him let it all out upon her.

"What kind of lousy doctor are you? You can't even stop this terrible pain…" he grimaced and suddenly stopped, as though he had just admitted something he had not meant to in his anger and helplessness.

"And… and… now I'm hurt, I can't protect you any more…" he trailed off completely and panted shallowly in anger, totally spent.

She waited a few seconds to be sure it was over and he was done and asked in a small voice, "Better?"

Rodney let loose an enormous juddering sigh and looked down at the floor, "Not really. Because now I've upset you, the only other person on this whole forsaken planet who I can speak to."

Jennifer shook her head, "It takes more than that to upset me, Rodney. And I wasn't exactly kind either."

Rodney verbally waved her off, "What you said is what I've had my whole life, which means that it _must_ be true. I'm used to it, so don't go feeling sorry for me."

The icy air around them was tense as echoes of their argument reverberated around inside the small ship. Jennifer kept her lips sealed and she knew that she would have to go outside soon. Perhaps she could try and get the engine all the way back or pick up a bullet ridden frozen takeaway if she could find the dead monster. She had to suppress the snort of irony which formed in her over the prospect of eating the creature which had nearly killed both of them and hurt Rodney so badly.

Jennifer suddenly laughed and sighed, "This is ridiculous. We're the only two people on the whole planet who are capable to speech and we're using that ability to argue?! I know you're bored and hurting and scared…"

Rodney opened his mouth indignantly, but she carried on going before he could say anything. "…because I am too. But we have to stop going on at each other or being stuck here will be even worse than it already is!"

Rodney frowned and asked, "You're hurt? How?"

"My legs and back ache something chronic after dragging that engine halfway across the continent. Look, I'm just saying that I know you're cranky but we need to focus our efforts on fighting the elements, not each other!"

"Cranky?!" McKay huffed with narrowed eyes. "You don't know the half of it…"

"No, maybe not, but I can imagine."

She felt him shift next to her and he hissed quietly. She turned to look at him and saw that his mouth was turned down in a pained grimace and he winced. He opened his mouth and his speech faltered for several seconds and his pale face flushed pink, "Uhm, I, uh, I need to use the, uh, little boy's room."

Jennifer nodded, "Alright. Do you think you can do that on your own seeing as I'm not allowed to touch you anymore?"

"Yes!" He used his free hand to push against the deck and forced his feet under him. He turned around and rested his hand on the bench and shoved himself all the way up.

Jennifer bit her lip and bunched her hands into fists as she held back from helping him. His outburst had shown her that he was far too proud and wilful to accept her constant coddling and although she knew that his stubbornness was downright dangerous to his health at present, she would just have to wait until it was too much for him and he had to relent. She did not want to anger him again as that had only caused him pain.

He swayed a little and closed his eyes as he got his balance. Jennifer got up, shoved more bandages into her pockets and also took the gun and loaded the last clip. She pulled the knife belt around her waist and, first making sure that Rodney had a blanket covering him, she opened the rear hatch.

The cold blast hit her and immediately drained any heat she had accumulated in her row with Rodney.

A low voice behind her said heavily, "Another beautiful day in paradise!"

Jennifer could not help the twitch of her lips as they curled into a smile at his sarcastic comment. She was glad that he could not see her face. She drew the life signs detector out of her pocket. It was still active and she kept an eye on it, even though it had been a bit useless the day before. The cold was bracing as she stepped out into the bright sunlight.

She walked over to the trees and made sure she could still hear Rodney's unsteady shuffling footsteps behind her. She would have to wait for him to ask for her help to show him that she was right. She knew it was probably doing him more harm than good, but it seemed that he needed to learn the hard way; to grit his teeth and do something to surrender his stubbornness if he hoped to survive and get along with her.

She stopped part way into the trees and spun around. Rodney was struggling along and his face was tight with pain as his cold breaths wheezed in his chest.

Jennifer tilted her head and held out her hand to him. He shook his head and gasped, "No. I can do it!"

She kept her eye on him and he glared at her, "Well, I'm not doing it with you staring at me!"

Jennifer huffed angrily and moved away. She kept close as she found her own tree to hide behind.

Just as she was finishing, she heard a strangled cry and her heart clenched in fear. She covered herself up again and ran back to where the call had come from.

Rodney was lying on his side and it looked like he had got himself tangled in his clothes and ended up falling over. He was only just decent and there was a bright red graze across the skin on the back of his pale thigh where he had landed on the rough ground. Jennifer ran over to him and hesitated.

He panted and his body shook violently where he lay in the snow with his bare skin touching the ice on the ground. He had lost the blanket when he slipped which had now drifted several metres away.

Jennifer gritted her teeth in uncertainty, "Rodney? I have to help you!"

He narrowly opened his eyes at her and finally relented, "Alright."

Jennifer worked very fast and in a flash his leg was cleaned, bandaged and covered. She threw the blanket over his shoulders again and helped him as he limped back to the Jumper.

When they got back, she sat him down on the bench and the only thanks she got was a small nod. She knew that it would have been a struggle for his pride to allow him to give her any more, so she took it as massive praise coming from him. She gathered up both sleeping bags and all the blankets in the whole Jumper. She laid out one of the sleeping bags on the deck and Rodney asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get your precious engine and find some lunch."

"Not without me!"

Jennifer turned to him and raised her eyebrows, "Rodney, you can't even stand up straight, much less defend yourself or me out there. I shouldn't be more than an hour and you need to rest."

He started to speak, but she cut him off, "We've only got one set of cold weather gear and I'm wearing it. We also only have one gun and one knife, and again, I've got them."

"But… but… I can't let you go out there on your own," he finished lamely.

She went over to him and rested her hand on his uninjured shoulder, "Despite what you seem to think of me, I'm not totally helpless. I _did_ kill that monster attacking you after all."

Rodney looked down and puffed out a small breath, "Alright, but if you're not back in two hours, I'm going to stagger out there after you."

Jennifer nodded and smiled at him. She could feel apprehension building in her over venturing out on her own, but she had to get that engine back and if she could get them some extra food at the same time, it had to be done.

Rodney had recovered sufficiently to move himself over and he lay down on top of the sleeping bag. She covered him as he closed his eyes and then she rested so many blankets around and over him that it was only his face which was left uncovered so that he could breathe. She placed the second to last power bar they had on the deck next to him, along with painkillers and more antibiotics and told him when they needed to be taken. He nodded and then closed his eyes and his face smoothed out.

They seemed to have come to some form of unspoken agreement. He would let her help and touch him as long as what she did did not hurt. In exchange, he would stop treating her like a breakable doll which he was the only who could protect her against the world. At least she hoped they could agree to that, but did not hold much store that Rodney's hot headed pride would not take him over again when she returned.

She stood up and gazed down at him and smirked. He looked like a giant caterpillar in a cocoon just before he would grow into a colourful butterfly. She shook her head at the image in her mind and then drew up her hood as she stepped outside into the chilly morning air again. She made sure she had both scanners and weapons and then sealed him inside the ship behind her and walked out alone into the barren wasteland.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – in case you hadn't realised yet, I'm not a fan of fluffy bunnies, rainbows and roses… (at least not in my reading and writing)_


	12. The Fading Light of Day

_A/N – I think I scared people away with the Rodney/Jennifer argument… Oopsy…_

**_Chapter 12 - The Fading Light of Day_**

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Two (8 days until rescue)**_

Rodney floated halfway between sleep and consciousness. In the space he had found, he was aware of his body and the sharp edge of constant pain that was keeping him from drifting away from awareness completely. The blankets were warm, but the weight of them pressing down on his fractures was hurting enough to keep him partially awake.

He could feel his mouth hanging open even though his eyes were closed. In that state, he was assaulted by terrifying thoughts. The images of his memories were twisted around in his vulnerable mind where he was unable to rationalise them away because his mind was not wary enough to protect him.

A frightening monster jumped out at him from the gloom. Rodney felt his face twitch and there was a low moan in his throat. He had little hope of putting up a defence against the onslaught as all his energy was currently going towards resisting the urge to cry out in agony with every breath.

The creature had its claws and teeth bared and it roared. It came closer, opened its mouth to bite him and spread its razor sharp claws ready to sink them into his flesh. He suddenly saw that it had Jennifer's face, changed into an expression of uncontrollable fury mingled with disappointment.

Rodney flinched and gasped. The tremor which ran through him made the bitter pain so intense that he finally woke up and his eyes flew open.

He was panting again and he narrowed his eyes up at the ceiling, which seemed so high above him. The right side of his upper body felt like it was filled with fiery tendrils and acid. His eyes were leaking again. He very slowly moved his left hand up to wipe the water from his face to clear away the blurriness.

He gradually slowed his breathing down and closed his eyes as he whispered brokenly, "Deep breaths. Pneumonia is a bad thing to get… when stranded on an ice world with… no medical supplies, an angry doctor… and a lot of ugly polar bears which… want to eat you."

He closed his eyes and sucked in one long breath, gritting his teeth as his ribcage expanded and the cuts under the bandages pulled. The pain in his chest was phenomenal and he only managed two breaths like it before he had had enough. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" he muttered when he was done. "Okay, not so good…"

He exhaled and resumed his shallow breathing.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but now that he was fully awake and hurting, he could not find any more rest. He drew his hand out from under the covers and checked his watch. Jennifer had only been gone twenty minutes, but to him it felt like an eternity of loneliness.

What was she doing? He hoped she was alright and had not had a run in with the furry natives on the so called 'uninhabited' planet yet.

He was angry with himself for the passionate argument he had allowed to spin out of control. He was also frustrated that he could not be out there helping and protecting her because he was too weak.

He felt a slight twinge of righteous indignation that at least his outburst could be justified and explained away by the pain he was suffering. But Jennifer though? Who did she think she was, yelling at an injured man? Especially when she was supposed to be taking care of and feeling sorry for him as he was hurt. He hated what he had said and how she had treated him, although he could not help liking the attention she was giving him. She only seemed to be capable of hurting him. He wished she would leave him alone and that every touch of her hands did not cause such pain that he was likely to forever associate with her.

He knew that what she had said were words which others had already flung at him many times in the past. He had always been able to brush them aside or let them bounce off his thick skin and shield and carry on. But coming from her, the words cut more deeply into him than they ever had before. They hurt more than any blade-like claw or rib could, and he knew that it was because he had let his guard down around her and tried to let her in. His barriers were in place for a reason after all and he had been stupid to think that she would be any different than anyone else. He steeled himself and knew that he was going to have to deal with it if he stood a tiny chance of getting along with her ever again.

Right now though, he really needed to do something to distract himself as his brain was only filled with depressing thoughts of the words that had been exchanged and could not be taken back. He also knew that his injuries were going to kill him slowly and that he had a lot more pain to come when the pills ran out. He pushed the covers back and rolled over onto his knees, using his uninjured arm to guide himself and make sure he did not twist or wrench.

He could feel that it was cold, but the warmth he had accumulated under the blankets was going to take a few minutes to wear off. He wrapped blankets around himself as best he could and then contemplated what one lonely and desperate man could possibly do to occupy himself while trapped in a Jumper with practically no power. His eyes settled on the corner of his blank screened tablet and he slowly walked over to it and settled himself down on the rear bench.

Maybe he could analyse the power levels in the Jumper and run a scan if there was enough energy. He was just about to boot it up, when suddenly there was a loud bang and the Jumper rocked up and then down. Rodney swayed and tried to compensate for the unexpected movement to avoid faceplanting on the deck, but he ended up slamming his back into the wall behind. It sent a shockwave throughout his entire body and he sobbed and cried out in pain as he dropped the tablet and held onto himself with his uninjured arm and hand.

The movements did not stop there. Over the pounding of his heart and the panicked rush of blood past his ears, Rodney heard a scraping sound accompanying the relentless rocking motion and he was filled with dread.

* * *

Jennifer walked across the frozen waste. She was a forlorn grey figure in the midst of the sea of white. The snowfall from the day before had drifted up against the Jumper, almost burying one side in a heap of icy dust.

She had only been walking for ten minutes when something started to feel wrong in the back of her mind. She stopped and glanced around herself in the bright light of the unveiled sun overhead as the morning drew on to what passed for midday on the planet she had named Whitefall in her mind.

She had not shared this with Rodney yet and after their angry shouting match earlier, she was unsure exactly what she was going to say to him when she returned. She knew for sure that she had to apologize to him. Rodney was clearly suffering a great deal from the effects of his injuries, even though he would never tell her how much it hurt. It was just another strange way that he had of protecting her against things that he thought she would not be able to handle. He had protected her against the monster first and now he did it because he did not want her pity or for her to be afraid about his condition. He needed to be built up and not torn down by petty disagreements or she knew that his strength would fail.

Jennifer's eyes and face were cold as she looked up at the sky and frowned. She looked all around herself as she turned full circle and saw the faint outline of the Jumper nestled in the snow behind her. She saw her deep footprints marking the way she had walked.

She did not see any hunters after her or any of the small balls of fur creatures. She crouched down and glanced around again, seeing if the altered perspective would reveal secrets not visible at normal height. She hoped that there would not be so many of the large predators on a cold world. That the ecosystem would not be able to support them as the only vegetation she had seen so far were the trees. She assumed that the predators ate the skittish fluff animals which had to sustain themselves somehow.

There was still nothing. She straightened up and mumbled, "Must be imagining things…"

She drew the gun out anyway just to be safe. She checked her direction on the scanner, but the screen flickered and she frowned as she had to give it a shake. The reading blinked in and out of existence and then reappeared constantly. She sighed and headed towards the engine. She swapped the scanner with the life signs detector and held it out in front of her in her left hand as she kept going.

She soon reached the place where the engine was without incident. She still could not help the niggling doubt in her mind that something was not quite right with the world, but she could not quite put her finger on it. She remained highly wary and alert to her surroundings so that nothing could sneak up on her as she dug around in the snow and searched for the engine.

There were two slightly raised areas, one for the engine and one for the mangy bullet-ridden corpse of the monster. She chose the engine first; she could come and get the animal later. They still had some food left, so it was not a priority.

She uncovered the ropes and wrapped her gloved hands around them and leant all her weight against them as she pulled the engine free.

It was covered in ice and snow, which gradually broke off and fell away as she dragged it free from its frozen grave.

She pulled it along for ten minutes before she had to stop and rest. Her arms, legs and back ached from the day before and she seemed to tire more easily just because Rodney was not with her. His presence had given her strength as she felt she needed to prove herself and keep going.

She frowned and looked up again. She suddenly realised what the strange feeling she had was. There was something wrong with the sky, and the sun seemed dimmer than it had the day before. Even as she stood there and gazed upwards into the bright and endless hue paled out by the alien sun, she could almost see the light being drained away. It was leeching all the colour out of everything and turning the sky dull grey where it had once been blue.

She shook her head to clear it and blinked as she looked back down. Perhaps it was just an illusion created by being out in the snow for too long without adequate eye protection, but she made a mental note to ask Rodney about it.

After she had profusely apologized to him that was.

She gathered up the ropes again and continued the slog along the surface of snow and ice.

* * *

Rodney yelped as he was slammed back into the wall again. He could feel the edges of his broken bones splitting apart inside him. He pushed himself up and grabbed the computer and staggered into the cockpit. He half sat and half fell the rest of the way into the pilot's seat. The chair was more fitted and stable than sliding around on the bench, but it was several seconds before he could breathe again and open his eyes.

He gripped the tablet between his legs to keep it from falling away from him. He then used his left hand to pull out the cable and plug it into the interface in the control panel. His hand was shaking through nerves, cold fear and adrenaline and the scream from his body as it cried out for mercy was dulled slightly in panic.

He turned on the tablet and through quivering lips he mumbled, "Come on, come on, come on!"

The computer was incredibly slow to load and he growled in frustration and helplessness as the ship was lifted up slightly and dropped back down. His voice ended in a grunt as his back compressed into the seat from the impact.

The harddrive was sluggish in the cold, but still serviceable. The moment his computer was loaded, he clicked on the screen painfully slowly. His shaking hand kept keying the wrong buttons until he bunched it into a fist and willed his muscles to cease their useless shivering. He uncurled his fingers and his next effort was moderately successful.

He ran a quick scan of the surrounding area and espied the engine, with a single life sign representing Jennifer, a safe distance away. The image kept flickering, but he put that down to the ice creeping all over and through the electronics. He was glad the Ancients had built sturdy ships, but that did not diminish the shock he felt when he saw that there were three large life signs all around the Jumper and pushing at it to try and crack the hull and get inside to eat him.

He grimaced as his mind working furiously fast. Jennifer was still approaching and it would not be long before the creatures spotted her and moved away from the Jumper for the kill. The last one had taken a whole clip to fell and Jennifer only had one clip left between her and the creatures. She would never survive.

Rodney gritted his teeth as he gave himself up to the inevitable. He knew he was about to doom them both to a cold death, but did not have time to think about whether he preferred the prospect of freezing or being torn apart right now. He was in control and he could not face the prospect of Jennifer being ripped to shreds and leaving him alone if he could do something about it.

He stood up and swayed. He lowered himself to his knees and moved the next available drone into the ready to launch position in the floor. He pressed the deck plating down and stumbled back into the chair.

He closed his eyes tightly and concentrated as hard as he could.

* * *

Jennifer was steadily trundling along. She only had a few hundred metres to go before she was back and the urgency to make sure she did not leave Rodney alone for too long in his state was weighing heavily in her mind. It provided all the motivation she needed to hurry up and fight through the aches and pains in her wrenched joints and muscles.

She pursed her lips and looked up at the sky again. It was definitely darker now. There was a primal fear in her heart that something was amiss and whatever it was, it would be something that they would not be able to escape just by hiding in the wrecked Jumper.

She blinked the icy tears out of her eyes as a gentle subzero breeze blew across the barrens and into her face.

As she looked ahead, a yellow flare suddenly rose up into the sky. She stopped walking to watch it curiously as it fell back down toward the ground where the Jumper was laying at rest.

There was a bright orange light just above the surface and a fraction of a second later a wave of intense heat and sound blasted through the air. She dropped the ropes in instinct and raised her arm up to shield her face from the explosion. She was thrown backwards off her feet into the snow which was soon turned to slush by the heat.

It cushioned her impact and she just missed landing on the engine.

After the last of the waves had passed by, she stood up and brushed the snow off herself. She blinked as her ears rang and she was dazed by the proximity of the explosion. She could feel her face smarting with burns and there were pinpoints of light sparking across her sight. She knew she was lucky she had not been any nearer or she would have been killed.

As her reeling mind recovered from the trauma and shock, her eyes suddenly widened in realisation over what had just happened and she started to run towards ground zero. Her snow shoes slipped and slid under her as the snow turned to slush and ice where the melting became more apparent, the nearer she got to the steaming metal ship ahead of her.

The very real possibility that she might now never be able to express her deep remorse to Rodney over her callous and hot headed words to him hit her like a punch in the gut. Under her gasping cold breaths she whispered, "Rodney! Please, no! Don't…"

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – Things are 'hotting up' now! No?_


	13. Losing Hope

_A/N – Thanks to **voyfan7** for answering my medical query… for that, you may look after Rodney for one night, before I take him off your hands again :)_

**_Chapter 13 – Losing Hope_**

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Two (8 days until rescue)**_

Jennifer quickly scrambled over the uneven ground, while in her heart, she feared the worst. She could see patches of bare rock underneath the Jumper where the heat from the explosion had created a large and perfectly concave crater in the ice. The air was filled with steam and the smell of barbeque. Water was now flowing under her feet and it made urgent movements while wearing snowshoes extremely treacherous.

She was absolutely furious with Rodney though and her worry only intensified the anger. What did he think her was doing; blowing himself up?! If he hadn't killed himself already, she was so cross she was pretty sure that she would be willing to finish the job.

She spotted a few charred animals on the ground and could just about make out that they were of the same kind as the one from the day before. They were very dead and she bypassed them to get to the Jumper.

The ship was still the correct way up, but it had dropped down about a metre where the solid packed ice underneath had been melted away to reveal the some of the mountainside.

She reached the rear hatch and kept her glove on as she opened the door with the emergency release. Thick clouds of steam were still rising all around her and made visibility quite poor.

The moment the ramp lowered, a blast of warmth flowed out of the ship and Jennifer turned her face away from the heat. But her skin had been cold and now it was mildly burnt, so she could not gauge whether the temperature should have been something to worry about. Although, it did not knock her off her feet or intensify the smarting sensation, so a small bubble of hope formed in her chest.

She stepped inside and took off her gloves. She soon discovered that it was not unbearably warm inside the ship and the temperature was safe. She quickly sealed the rear hatch for protection and then focused her attention on the insane man who happened to be her only fellow strandee stuck with her inside the Jumper.

Rodney lay unmoving, curled up on his left side on the deck in the middle of the cockpit. Jennifer feared the worst as she approached him. Her anger had completely vanished the moment she had seen him and given way to concern and fear.

Nothing inside the ship was burnt, despite the desolation immediately outside. The bare skin of Rodney's free arm and stubble darkened face were pale, but not burnt in any way. But that was because the Jumper's hull was thick and strong enough to resist the temperature fluctuations in space and during re-entry. The ship had been damaged after the crash so she knew it was probably not up to the usual standards.

She cried to him, "Rodney!" as she went over and fell down onto her knees in front of him.

Just before she stretched out her hand to find out whether he had survived, she saw his chest move and he inhaled a shallow rasping breath. Her relief was almost overwhelming and the emotion made it hard to concentrate on her job. She was shaken out of her brief reverie by the hitch and wheeze of Rodney's difficult breathing, but he made no move to indicate that he was aware of anything.

She purged the emotions as best she could, but it was difficult as the annoyance over his reckless disregard for his own well-being was trying to work itself back into her heart again now that she had found out that he was still alive. She checked him over for further injuries, but did not find anything other than a few extra bumps and bruises. His unconsciousness was troubling though, as there was no sign of head trauma or anything that could have been causing it, unless his pre-existing injuries had worsened.

She carefully moved his legs out so that his chest was not constricted and placed him in the recovery position as best she could as he only had one arm available to prop him up. His breath stopped for a moment, even in unconsciousness, as she could not avoid the effect the shifting had on his broken bones. Afterwards his breathing sounded a little easier without his legs drawn up against the broken arm, clavicle and rib.

She patted his rough face and tried to rouse him. "Rodney? Can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes for me."

He still did not wake and Jennifer felt herself longing more keenly than ever to get him back to the fully stocked infirmary on Atlantis. Even if it was just to place him under the scanner so that she could find out what was wrong. He could have internal injuries for all she knew, and if he did, she would be totally helpless to do anything for him other than to speed him along the way if he needed surgery. He should have been on oxygen in a nice warm bed in intensive care, not stuck in a Jumper with a few pills every couple of hours as his only treatment.

She frowned angrily and shoved his cheek a little more forcefully than she had intended. His face tilted away from her and then lolled back into a relaxed position.

Her vision blurred and her voice rose as she spoke hotly, "Why would you do something like that?! I had a gun, I could've got them!" She patted his forehead lightly, "You're stronger than this. I've read the reports and heard the stories about what you've done. Don't let this place get the better of you; it's a dump! There's nothing here worth dying for!"

He ignored her and stayed unconscious.

She sat down heavily in front of him on the deck and crossed her legs. She took his left hand in both of hers and squeezed. The digits remained limp and cool to touch. She blinked as her vision clouded over and Rodney's face disappeared into ripples of water. When she could see again, she furrowed her brow and her voice wavered in frustrated fury as she said, "You said it would take ten days for them to reach us! Now we've only got one night left until we freeze. Bet you didn't think about that before you decided to kill yourself?"

She spread out his fingers and laced them between her own tightly. The small muscles were relaxed and his hand curled against hers even though he had no control over it. "And now there's something wrong with the sky, and probably the whole world, and I need you to tell me what it is! So you have to wake up!"

She looked away from him and said, "At least we've got plenty of food now, but that's not going to be much use to us after we die from hypothermia tomorrow! At least I hope chargrilled monster is edible."

She suddenly felt a tiny twitch in the palm of her hand and Rodney's mouth moved as he tried to speak.

Jennifer forgot her anger and leant forwards so that her ear was right next to his lips. She asked, "What is it?"

His voice was so quiet that she could barely hear it, but she swore that what he whispered was, "Ketchup."

She frowned in confusion and sat back. It was hardly the profound and apologetic words she was expecting and she said indignantly, "What's that got to do with anything? Do I need to be worrying about your mental health on top of everything else?"

Rodney's face bunched up and he sighed quietly as he forced words out in a massive effort, "Taste… good… with… ketchup."

"Oh!" Jennifer could not help the smile which spread across her face. She was glad she had been able to have a go at him without him knowing about it. At least she hoped he had not heard any of it. Her anger was immediately forgotten now though and replaced by an almost selfish need for his forgiveness just in case he fell unconscious again and did not wake, "Rodney, I'm so sorry for what I said earlier! I didn't mean any of it!"

"You _did_… mean it…Doesn't… matter…" he grunted and she saw a shudder run through him which left him gasping for air.

Jennifer grimaced and placed her palm on the side of his face as his hand tightened in hers until it was squashing her fingers. She could feel the muscles in his cheek tensing and relaxing as his expression altered frequently in pain and she indulged herself a little by leaving it there.

"Even if I did, I'm still really sorry. What happened? Are you hurt anywhere else? I couldn't find anything and without access to the scanner I'm left with just the usual poke and prod methods."

Rodney narrowed his eyes at her incredulously. There was a tiny peek of blue between his eyelids as he showed them to her for the first time since she had found him on the deck. She had initially thought that he was dead, so the sight of his eyes was breathtakingly beautiful and astounded her. She even missed the fact that he was actually glaring at her in annoyance.

She ended up grinning at him and his face darkened even further until she swore that sparks were flying from the dazzling sapphires he was directing at her.

She cleared her throat and reluctantly lifted her hand from his face and rested it in her lap. She kept hold of his other hand and he did not pull away. She looked at the deck, in an effort to stop the uncontrollable flood of emotions, and asked, "_Are_ you hurt anywhere new?"

Rodney closed his eyes and frowned. After a few seconds he opened them again and said, "I'm not sure. I think my chest and arm are worse than before, but it's hard to tell as they were pretty bad to start with."

Jennifer frowned and moved around behind him and said, "Can you sit up?"

"No."

Jennifer sighed, "Just for a couple of minutes."

Rodney sighed heavily and flinched. He sucked in a laboured breath and Jennifer helped him upright. He whimpered a couple of times, but remained lucid.

Jennifer rested her hands on his broad back lightly and said, "I need to try and check your lung sounds to see if anything's changed."

Rodney muttered, "Okay?"

Jennifer rolled her eyes and fully engaged her professional detachment as she worked her hands under his shirt and pushed it up to reveal his back. She wished she had a stethoscope as she did not hold much faith that she would be successful in finding out whether the rib had been driven into his lung or if something more serious was going on.

Rodney's skin was smooth and warm under her touch, but was so pale that the new patches of bruising showed up as ugly tattoos of purple and black marring the contours of his back. She felt him twitch as she rested her ear against his ribs and closed her eyes as she listened intently.

Rodney shifted a little and asked nervously, "Uh, Jennifer? What're you doing?"

She frowned, "I'm trying to listen, which is difficult if you keep talking. I want you to take a deep breath and then release it as quickly as you can."

"It hurts just breathing like this! I can't do that!"

Jennifer kept her ear pressed against him and said, "Please, Rodney. You'll only have to do it a few times, I promise."

He moved forwards slightly and she placed her hand on his flank to steady him as she closed her eyes and concentrated.

She was suddenly all too aware of every tiny sound as it was amplified while she listened. Above her she heard Rodney's shallow panting breaths as they entered and left him; the whisper and rustle of cloth against skin and deck plating; the ruffle of his shirt as she held it up. Her own breaths and heartbeat were noisy to her and she swore she could hear the almost inaudible slosh and slap of melt water dripping against the outer hull.

She stuck her finger in her ear and said, "Okay. When you're ready."

She felt Rodney draw in a deep breath against the side of her face. When he exhaled the motion was punctuated with a mournful cry.

Jennifer sighed, "Try again."

"No. I can't do it, Jennifer!" Rodney reached up with his left hand and tried to tug his shirt back down.

Jennifer frowned, but let him do it. She desperately wanted to tell him he was fine, but between all the noise and Rodney's cry she really had no idea. And she was not going to lie. Not about this.

He was still alive and breathing and the movement had obviously made the pain livelier so she reasoned that if anything really was seriously wrong with him, he would have remained unconscious or would be dead by now. It did not help that thoughts of a potentially punctured lung, haemo or pneumothorax went through her mind whenever she thought about the lethal knife edge of the broken rib rattling around inside him every time he breathed and moved.

She placed her hand on his back, over where she had been resting her ear and said, "It's alright."

She helped him try and eat another MRE, but he could not manage very much before he pushed her hand away, "No. I think I'll be sick again."

Jennifer nodded and gave him some more of the painkillers and antibiotics. He had been awake for less than an hour, but he looked exhausted and his eyes had taken on a haunted and slightly glazed quality which scared her. The pain and hopelessness was breaking him and what she saw was quickly mirrored in her own mind as she caught a glimpse of his emotions and they spilled over into her. She helped him to lie back on the deck and covered him with blankets. She watched him as his eyes slowly drifted shut and he fell asleep.

She shoved aside some of the other blankets and one of the drained drone cells littering the deck so that she could sit next to him on the floor. The Jumper was turning into a bit of a tip and after two days of cramped and close living quarters without any access to showers, it was also beginning to develop the strong scent of human habitation.

She frowned as she thought about it and paused, tilting her head back so that she could inhale through her nose, as she tried to work out exactly what it was that she had just smelt. It was a pleasant aroma, but it was unlike flowers or soap or anything she could pin down. She drew in another breath and smiled. She found that she liked it, and was totally at ease, even though her rational mind very helpfully told her that she should be gagging by now. The thought of not showering for several days and walking for miles in great physical exertion made her feel a little queasy, especially because she was sharing the space with Rodney, but he had not said anything either and he was usually _very_ vocal about even the tiniest amounts of discomfort.

She realised that it _was_ something she had smelt before, but never so strongly that she had stopped and thought about it. It was intoxicating and the affect it had on her senses made her a little dizzy.

She was suddenly all too aware of her lank and greasy unbrushed hair and her dirty fingernails. The self consciousness also reminded her that she had not shaved for a few days either. She knew that her face was probably filthy and something about being this close to Rodney, and inhaling what she now knew was undoubtedly his distinctive male scent mingled with her own filling their living space, was making her panic and want to look her best. It was not really a priority at the moment, but it irritated her nonetheless.

She hummed quietly and shook her head as she wondered what it was going to be like in a few more days. She was fairly certain that her thoughts would have changed by then. She contemplated spending some time thawing out enough of the water to make a shower, but she did not know how that was going to work as neither of them had any spare clothes and it was too cold to wash outside, so she quickly buried that idea. They would probably just have to bear it until rescue or death came to claim them.

The afternoon was wearing on as she sat next to him in silence and watched him sleeping. He would never know that she had spent all that time just looking at him. She was bored and frightened and the more she looked at him and went through the events of the past couple of days in her mind, the more she worked herself up into quite a stew.

The light was beginning to fade by the time she felt too panicked to be left with only her own thoughts and Rodney's painful breathing for company.

She reached across and gently placed her hand on his forehead and called out to him, "Rodney? It's nearly nightfall, I think we'd both better sort ourselves out before it gets too dark outside."

His breathing lost its even rhythm and he opened his eyes and looked at her blankly. His expression terrified her and she moved her hand down and rested it behind his head, at the base of his neck. "Rodney?!"

He blinked and frowned. The life suddenly rushed back into his eyes and he narrowed them in recognition, "Jennifer?"

She was so relieved that she nearly laughed. "Yes, I'm still here. Tell you what, this time you can have the coat and I'll use the blankets."

He perked up a little at that and managed to galvanize himself to move the coverings away.

* * *

Jennifer was surprised that Rodney allowed her to hold onto him as she guided him outside into the cold early evening air. They did not go far, as the sloping edge of the crater of ice that the Jumper was now nestled in was slippery and Rodney tired quickly. She only let them go as far as the edge of the trees this time.

Jennifer let go of Rodney's waist and uninjured arm and made sure he would not fall before she said, "Okay." She made to move away from him, "I'll be over there."

Rodney looked down at the ground. The right sleeve of the jacket Jennifer had given him was empty as his arm was still in a sling across his chest where she had decided not to move it until they got back to Atlantis. That was if they ever did.

He swayed alarmingly and closed his eyes as he softly said, "No."

Jennifer stopped and frowned.

He continued, "I know you're doing the best job you can. I'm sorry…" he trailed off and his knees gave out.

Jennifer ran over and caught him just before he landed and hefted him upright. He was far too heavy for her and began to slip away from her grip as the muscles in her back twinged unhappily at the new load after her assault against them the previous day and that morning.

Rodney eventually found some strength and managed to support most of his weight again. Jennifer kept her arm across his back and curled her hand around his side. She looked away and knew for sure that he was hiding how badly he hurting; too much to let the embarrassment or frailty bother him. He trusted her not to look and neither of them said anything.

When he was finished, she gently lowered him down beside a tree as she was still lucid enough to feel a little more modest.

She retrieved him and they hobbled back to the Jumper together.

She forced Rodney to eat as much food as he could stand. He was unconscious again before she had even finished wrapping him up. His pensiveness and silence was deeply troubling, but she could not really blame him for being so despondent. She did not like his attitude, and the rapid ease at which he had lost all hope angered her.

She needed to do something to distract herself from staring at his unresponsive face, so she got up and took a couple of crates and emptied them out onto the rear bench. She made sure that both the gun and knife were accessible before venturing out once more. The sky was still dim, but now it was due to the sun's rapid approach towards the horizon. The air was chilly, but she still left the hatch open as she did not have far to go.

Just where she had left them, she found the monsters ready cooked and sprawled by the side of the ship. The burnt flesh did not faze her in the slightest as she used the knife to cut some of the better meat and packed it into the crates.

She hoped they would still be there in the morning, but thought that other predators or even their own kind may come back in the night to finish them off. She placed the airtight lids on the crates and took them back into the Jumper. She was satisfied that the food would last them for a few extra days and supplement the MREs they had left.

She sealed the rear hatch behind her and took the crates into the cockpit which would remain cooler during the night while they used their last precious drone to stave off hypothermia. She decided that she may as well rest too, to conserve energy and for lack of anything better to do than to join Rodney in sleep. Fear clutched her heart in anticipation of what the next night was going to be like without any heat at all, and she had trouble pushing it aside as she repeated the same ritual she had done the night before.

She lay down next to Rodney when the final power cell was glowing warmly on the deck nearby. She placed her hand on his forehead as she sunk into her sleeping bag. She whispered, "Good night."

And he murmured back incoherently.

Jennifer smiled at him sadly. He looked so vulnerable while he was sleeping, but his eyes remained closed and his face was slack. Her gaze lingered on his almost painfully handsome face which was made all the more beautiful because his features were no longer marred by an outward expression of the pain he was in. She was glad that he could at least find a reprieve in unconsciousness. She found him strangely charming even though he was no longer speaking. She found that she missed his company, even though the last proper conversation they had had had been an argument. She wished he would open his eyes so that she could lose herself in the depths of blue and forget about all her fears.

She hoped that his patented stubbornness would hold true and refuse to allow him to give up his life and surrender to death no matter how much worse things got.

She rolled over and kissed his forehead tenderly; hoping that she could somehow infuse some more energy and enthusiasm into him for the next day as her lips brushed over his skin. She smiled at him with her brow furrowed as she rolled back over again and closed her eyes. She drew the sleeping bag up to her chin and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – Oh! 3 x the word 'had' in a row… how bizarre…_


	14. The Upward Fall

_A/N – thank you so much for the reviews! The site was down for a while (to login) but seems to be getting better now. For some reason it will let me upload this (albeit it in a sneaky way), but won't let me reply to any reviews! Sorry about that. Here's the next instalment…_

_**Chapter 14 – The Upward Fall**_

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Three (7 days until rescue)**_

Rodney woke up to someone patting his face and talking to him. He ignored the touching, but when it did not let up he coughed and mumbled, "Get off me."

The tapping stopped and turned into a constant, warm pressure on his cheek. He shook his head and kept his eyes closed. He moaned and a firm, but gentle hand on his back helped him to sit up slightly. He swallowed as a bottle was placed against his lips and he felt the icy water on its passage all the way down his oesophagus. He allowed himself to be rested him back down and kept his eyes resolutely closed.

"It's time to wake up, Rodney. You've been asleep all morning and you need to eat and have some more painkillers and antibiotics."

Rodney frowned and opened his eyes. Asleep all morning? There was work to do! And why was he on drugs? He looked around the prison of metal walls surrounding him and stopped when he saw that there was a beautiful woman with scruffy blond hair leaning over him. Her delicate hand was resting against his cheek as she peered down into his face with a questioning look. He narrowed his eyes at her and she returned a small smile.

It was fun for a few seconds, just lying there staring into her bright eyes, but then the pain started.

"Oh!" he whispered as he tried to breathe deeply and felt his arm and chest burning. He took stock of himself and envisioned a map of his body in his mind. On the image his whole chest, arm and shoulder where bright red with pain and all his breaths were short and shallow. There was a dull sting over the skin of his belly too. He turned to her and furrowed his brow, "What happened to me?"

Her face fell in concern and Rodney did not like it. Something in his mind told him that upsetting this woman was a bad idea and that he should really try to avoid it at all costs. He was still incredibly tired and longed to shut his eyes again and forget that he had woken up, but the woman looking at him did not seem to be one who was going to let him to do that without a fight.

He tested his theory by tilting his head back and allowing his eyes to close.

Sure enough, less than a second later, the constant pressure was removed and the patting was back.

"Stop that!" he cried. "You'll make my skin red and bruised!" Where had that come from?

For some reason though, when he opened his eyes again, she was smiling happily back at him. Whether it was due to the water or the pain, suddenly the neurons began firing again as he fully woke up; the sparks connected in his mind at a nauseatingly fast rate, "Jennifer…?" he asked.

Her grin broadened and she moved in with her hand again, but before she could touch him, he turned his face away and closed his eyes in anguish.

Rodney could feel that he was weaker than the day before and the pain was worse. He knew that he was slowly losing his life and no amount of food or water or pills could do anything for him. He did not know what would, except for maybe a nice bed in the infirmary, being tended by pretty doctors and nurses all day and night for at least a week.

He thought that he had been getting better, however small the decrease in pain had been. Or maybe he had just _hoped_ he was going to be alright.

Whatever Jennifer had done, it had not been enough, and the way he had been slammed against the deck after the explosion the day before had compounded his injuries further. He did not want to tell her, for fear that she would want to push his bones around again, but he thought that his arm had now gone back to the same level of pain, if not a worse, as it had been immediately after it had been broken.

He desperately tried to hold onto each thread of his soul as it slipped away, but he did not have the strength anymore. He scrunched up his face in mourning and in his sorrow he felt a hand working its way into his and squeezing lightly. There was also a gentle grip around the back of his head and, as he focused on the contact, he was able to use it to pull himself back up out of the depths of despair and gather enough strength to open his eyes again.

He could feel bone deep weariness taking him over and his body felt weak and insubstantial, like he was just occupying a shell of constant pain and he had no desire to remain a resident. His only escape was in sleep and that was what he wanted to do the most. It was like he had become a man only capable of feeling pain and fear and it had been so long since he was free of it that he could no longer remember what life was like before. What was it like to breathe and not worry about the knife inside? Or to have full use of both arms? What he would give to be able to turn his head and not wrench his collarbone!

"Rodney, you have to tell me what's going on with you. I can't just guess and without a scanner, I can only make a visual diagnosis."

Rodney opened his eyes and looked up at her commanding expression. His chest throbbed again as he inhaled a deeper breath and the resulting sting made his eyes water. He mumbled, "You'll only be angry with me again. I got hurt and I know you can't do anything about it, which is why you're so cross."

Her face turned impassive as she continued to stare at him. Rodney felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny and looked away.

Jennifer's hand tightened in his again and he turned back at her to see a frown marring her pretty face as she looked down at him. She said, "Food and pills. Now."

Rodney's eyes widened at her imperious tone and when he looked at her face, her expression had hardened into the outward expression of a will which he knew he would not be able to break, even if he were not so ill. She drew back the warm cosy blankets covering him and placed a hand under his back. She helped him to first sit and then stand. The Jumper was cold and she quickly picked up the blankets and wrapped them around his shoulders. She had the coat again and it irritated Rodney. Why did she get to have it when he was the injured one?

Her voice was scarily calm as she said, "You're right. I'm _very_ angry with you, Rodney. Why did you try and kill yourself? If you did it for my sake, then you needn't have bothered. I had a gun and now you've doomed us both. There's no more heat. Rescue is seven days away, _if_ they're even bothering to come for us and haven't written us off as having died the moment after the gate shut down. And tonight we're going to freeze."

The corners of Rodney's eyes tightened where he stood and swayed, his balance was fragile and she had left him ready to break in the heat of her words while she rummaged through a crate and brought out the hated pills and precious MREs. But she was not quite finished.

"So, yes. I'm quite annoyed with you to say the least."

Rodney glared at her back. "But you only had one clip and there were three of them!" The argument was draining, both physically and mentally, what little energy he had managed to scrape together. He could hardly even put up a decent fight before she was off again.

She straightened up where she stood a short distance away and snapped, "And you won't even tell me what's wrong with you! If you can't trust me to say what's so terrible, then I can't help you."

Rodney's heart flopped over and skipped a beat. He knew he was still breathing, but it was suddenly like the air was not enough to sustain him. A rush of dizziness overcame him and he felt his muscles giving out. His sight was filled with white and his mind disconnected from the world. He was just about aware of the roar of blood rushing past his ears and a brief sensation of falling, before he was on the ground again, on his side, with Jennifer holding onto his waist with one hand and with the fingers of her other hand pressed into his neck.

She was muttering, "I'm sorry. So sorry! I should've made you sit."

She was quiet for a few seconds while she stared at her watch and took his pulse, "Rapid heart rate. Low blood pressure," she said. She turned to him as he managed to keep his eyes levered open. "Has there been any change in the level or distribution of the pain in your chest since your crazy stunt yesterday?"

"I, uh, no." He answered halfheartedly.

Jennifer's eyes flashed and her voice was harsh as she said, "Rodney. Now is a time for _honesty._ I think I can probably figure out from your reaction just then that it's probably worse."

He steeled himself and spoke quietly, "You're right. It _is_ worse and it's getting harder to breathe. It was just at the front of my ribs at first, where the broken one is. But now it's at the back too and it's spread all the way through the entire right side of my chest."

Jennifer's worried frown made him tremble in mortal fear and he cried, "Oh, no! I really am dying aren't I? You're just trying to be nice. But I told you what it's like and now you have to be honest in return. What's wrong with me? Why am I not getting any better?"

Jennifer's face was thunderous, but when her eyes locked with Rodney's terrified and pleading ones, her expression softened. "Without a scanner I don't know for sure…"

Rodney sighed, "But you have an idea."

"Yes. You might have a pulmonary contusion."

Rodney raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "A bruise? Is that all?"

"What?!" She glared at him angrily, "It's a very serious injury, Rodney! If left untreated it could kill you!" Her eyes widened in realisation that she had said too much, "Oh!"

Rodney hung his head down and gritted his teeth. He had managed to get her to tell him, through feigning indifference, but she had only confirmed his worst fears. As a doctor, if she thought it was bad, he now knew for certain that he was in big trouble. He would never be able to survive for another seven days when he could hardly face the prospect of the next few minutes.

"So, it's true. I'm going to die." He wheezed. The sounds of his breathing were noisier now that he no longer had to make any effort to suppress them.

Jennifer's hands remained on him and she rubbed his side lightly, "It's just a few more days. When compared to the rest of your life and how long you've already lived. What's that?"

"Really not helping!"

Jennifer looked up and away from him where he lay, almost as though looking for strength to fall down from the ceiling and flow into her to deal with him.

She looked back down at him after a moment and said, "Come on, time to get up."

Rodney grudgingly allowed himself to be manhandled onto the rear bench. She made sure he was sitting down this time and kept her eyes on his frame so that he did not fall where she may not be quick enough to catch him next time. Rodney curled his uninjured hand around his side, just beneath the most painful area of his chest, which was centred around the broken rib. He had to bite down on a disgruntled snort that formed when he wondered what people would think of him when Jennifer was rescued and he was dead. He could imagine them talking about him and laughing at him that he had died from a broken rib; a seemingly trivial injury. Wasn't there a song about that?

He could even envision Sheppard's disbelieving face when Jennifer told him. Because John had also broken a few ribs courtesy of the starved Wraith they had found on the desert planet. He was stronger than Rodney, so of course _he_ had survived.

He voiced his woes out loud, "I can't believe I'm going to die from a cracked rib and a bruise! That's so stupid!"

Jennifer came back over with a couple of MREs and the pill boxes. She sat down next to him very heavily and huffed out an enormous sigh. She turned to look at him and said in annoyance, "Maybe you should've thought about that _before_ you tried to blow yourself up. But from what I can tell, you already had the injury and it just takes time for it to become apparent. It's more than a bruise anyway; it's internal bleeding."

Rodney grimaced and held his side more firmly. He should really probably stop talking about the medical things now as Jennifer was difficult company. Sheppard would have been so much better in this situation. John would just have told him to 'suck it up' and 'stop whining.' That would have been far more reassuring than a _doctor_ telling him that he was going to die and that she couldn't do anything for him!

She opened one of the MREs and passed it to him. She ate her own in silence while Rodney brooded.

After two mouthfuls he was done and he passed the packet back to her. She pushed it away and said, "Eat as much as you can."

"What? I thought we were running low?"

Jennifer bit off some more and shrugged, "These are the last ones."

Rodney looked down at the packaging in his hand and placed it in his lap as he reached across and tore Jennifer's from her hand. He grabbed both of them and protectively drew them into himself as far as he could, given his stiff and still very sore arm where it was strapped across his chest.

He shrieked, "What do you think you're doing, then!? We should save them!"

Jennifer reached over and deftly uncurled his fingers. She easily retrieved the food from his feeble hold and pointed into the cockpit at two bright yellow crates. Rodney frowned in confusion as he followed her finger. She said, "We can have an ironic dinner later."

"You _didn't!_" Rodney said. He had a nasty suspicion though.

"Yes, and you did the cooking too."

Rodney shuddered and flinched. That was not going to taste very good. He was willing to put a bet on the meat being so tough and indigestible... "But that'll break our teeth and give us food poisoning!" he blurted. Which would definitely finish him off in his current state.

Jennifer sighed as she ate the rest of the MRE while Rodney rolled his own one around in his hand. Eventually he had to relent and he even managed a couple more bites before he began to feel sick again. Jennifer took it away from him after she had made sure he was done, gave him the pills and then packed it all away.

She came back towards him and held out her hand invitingly as she stood in front of him. "Come with me outside today, I need to check something and I need your help to make sure I'm not going crazy."

"But I'm _hurt!"_ Rodney squeaked indignantly as he eyed the proffered hand warily.

"I know." She moved the threatening hand around and rested it sympathetically on his back. "But lying around moping all day isn't doing either of us any good."

He hummed and leaned back into her touch as she rubbed a gentle circle on his back away from the internal bruising at the back of his lung.

She smiled sweetly at him and said, "Buck up, Rodney! It's not so bad here, is it?"

Rodney grunted noncommittally and it made him cough again in agony.

She moved her hand away and Rodney felt cold.

She relinquished the coat and they made a trade. She wrapped it around his shoulders and he snuggled into the warmth which was still in the material from Jennifer's body. She zipped it up for him as he could not accomplish it with only one hand. She then drew his blankets over and around herself.

"Listen, going outside will give you something to focus on after being cooped up in here for nearly two days and besides, I'm not letting you _go_ in here."

Rodney nodded slowly and blinked at her. "That's reassuring."

She threw up her hands, nearly dislodging the blankets from off her shoulders; _his_ blankets. "What do you want me to say?" He narrowed his eyes at her as she continued. "That everything's going to be fine? We'll get off this world before we freeze, starve or get eaten? You'll be miraculously cured just because I'm a doctor? It doesn't work like that Rodney!"

He looked down and away from her as his sarcastic abrasiveness failed him to despair. His lower lip trembled as he said under his far too shallow breath, "I know, Jennifer. I just…" his voice trailed off to practically nothing. "I don't want to die."

He was aware of Jennifer moving towards him and of her hand under his chin. She lifted his head up until he had no choice but to meet her searching gaze. He closed his eyes and the next thing he knew, Jennifer's gentle hands were holding the sides of his head, with her fingers threaded through his hair. She tilted his head down and he felt her lips brush softly against his forehead. His eyes snapped open, just in time to see Jennifer pull back after the kiss. She looked sad as her eyes remained locked with his. She said, "I don't want you to die either, Rodney."

He was so shocked after what she had done that he just nodded slowly and Jennifer gave him an incredibly brave and small smile.

Then, just as it had started, the moment was gone. She went back to as she had been before like nothing had happened. She grabbed all the equipment and helped him to stand. She checked the pockets in the coat that Rodney was now wearing and retrieved the gun and tucked it into the waistband of her trousers in the small of her back under the blankets.

Rodney raised an eyebrow at her and she waved him off, "Just want to keep it close."

"Well, make sure the safety's on or that could be embarrassing."

Jennifer's expression turned mischievous and Rodney managed to feel a tiny amount of amusement which he shared with her as best he could in his expression.

Rodney looked down at his feet, as Jennifer guided him over to the rear hatch. She hit the release and Rodney saw the deck underneath turn from dull metal to unbelievable brightness. The coat protected him from the worst of the cold, but he knew it was there and would eventually seep in and get to him.

He heard Jennifer draw in a sharp breath next to him and he frowned.

"Rodney! What's going on?!" She said in a voice filled with terror.

He looked up and winced when the rapid movement pulled his fractured collarbone. He narrowed his eyes in the sudden onslaught of brilliant white and he felt like asking her the same thing because of what he saw happening to the world in front of them.

He looked up into the sky and all around to take in as much as he could from the vantage point of the open rear hatch. The area immediately around the Jumper was fine, but a few miles away, or possibly even closer, there was snow and ice in the air. If he had taken a photo of the scene, anyone would have dismissed it as just another snowstorm. But what they were looking at was moving. And it was going the wrong way. The snow was being pulled from the surface of the planet by something and getting drawn up in a swirl into the unusually darkened sky high overhead.

He frowned as a primal fear gripped his already overburdened heart and said in a trembling voice, "I don't know."

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N – Wow, what's going on now? Also, was that a cliffhanger? I can't tell anymore… if the site goes down again, next chapters will be available on my LiveJournal (linked on my writer's homepage)_


	15. Snowrise

_A/N – Sorry for the delay! Now I have an evil headache from sleep deprivation. It had to be done though…_

_**Chapter 15 - Snowrise**_

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Three (7 days until rescue)**_

Rodney bunched his free hand into a fist where he had his arm draped over Jennifer's shoulders looking out from the doorway of the Puddle Jumper. It was like he could not get enough air into his damaged lungs and he felt dizzy. His weakening heart was finding it difficult to pump blood around his body fast enough to satisfy his muscles to keep him upright. He watched the unnatural rise of snow in the distance. It was as though a waterfall of white particles was defying gravity and flowing the wrong way. It was as hypnotizing and majestic is it was scary.

He may have mistaken it for a tornado if it were not so widespread, but as it was, it seemed to stretch across the surface of the whole horizon, only tapering out slightly at the edges; either due to the curve of the planet or something which he did not yet know about. The sky was dim, even though the sky immediately above them was completely devoid of any snow flakes being drawn up. It should have been a harsh midday glare, but Rodney's eyes quickly adapted to the brightness until he was able to widen them in terror.

The image before them should have been roaring and whooshing in wind, but it was utterly silent and that only increased the eeriness and fear.

"Scanner." Rodney grunted.

Jennifer looked back at him with comically round eyes. As he watched, the cold air made them water and she had to blink.

Rodney's terror turned to annoyance and he said a little more urgently, "Scanner!"

Jennifer nodded and reached round into the pocket of his coat, passed him the small device and then shifted around behind him to hold onto his waist to keep him standing. Rodney's icy breath caught in his chest as he inhaled to shout angrily as he waved the screen around. He ended up coughing in a painful hack and it felt like his lungs were full of water; which was no good for the air exchange required for him to live.

He felt Jennifer wrap her arms around his lower abdomen to keep him standing as he bent double and his body was wracked by a horrendous coughing fit intermingled with rapid shallow gasps and choking.

It passed after a few minutes, but his chest was full of acid and knives and his eyes were streaming. The painkillers Jennifer had given him just didn't cut it or seem to make any difference. His arm was so painful he thought it might be better if his nightmare came true and Jennifer would get rid of the damaged limb forever.

Jennifer kept on hugging his middle so that he would not fall and murmured words of comfort into his hair from behind. He could not discern what she said though the noise he was making. Even when he thought he should know the meaning of the words she spoke, his shattered mind could not comprehend what she could possibly be saying to keep him with her. She kept her arms there, even as he was able to straighten up as far as possible and draw a more sustaining breath.

He waved the scanner in front of him and he managed to speak through his noisy airway in a cracked voice. "And what do you think… I can do with this? Use my psychic… powers to… press the buttons?"

"You've got the Ancient gene haven't you? Isn't that enough?"

"Oh, yes! Because it can be used… for controlling anything I see!" He inhaled in a wheeze which nearly set him off again. He quickly swallowed and his chest hitched uncontrollably as he suppressed it. He thought he could feel the loose rib moving against him and he flinched before he carried on. "I can magically will away… the snow funnel… just as easily as I can… pull a ZedPM out of my ass… to make the Jumper fly again!" He could not help the anger creeping into his voice and he regretted it a small amount because he knew he was channelling it towards Jennifer and she was not looking at him kindly.

Jennifer sighed softly behind his ear and asked in a put out voice, "What _should_ I do then?"

"_Hold_ it."

She kept her left arm pressed against his flank as she moved her hand forward and took the scanner. She did as he asked and kept the device as still as possible. She turned it upwards out in front of him so that he could tap the screen.

Rodney was now very annoyed with his infirmities and the fact that his sizable intellect had failed miserably to tell him what was going on. He tried to rationalize away his lack of knowledge as a by product of the large proportion of his mind currently occupied with dealing with the pain, but he was angry with himself for letting it get the better of him when it was not just him he needed to be worrying about.

He tapped the screen until it changed to an energy detector. He then widened the scan range as far as he possibly could. The image flickered and danced as it fed false readings and hazy ghosts back at him.

He eventually resigned himself to defeat. "We need to go outside. Get a better reading."

Jennifer helped him stumble out into the crater and they slid across the ice where the meltwater from the day before had turned into a skating rink overnight. Rodney cried out when his feet nearly slipped out from under him and subjected his ribcage to a savage wrench. Jennifer held him tightly as he panted through it.

The cold air went right down into his damaged lungs and took what little breath he had away and right out of his body in a painful cough as a deep and severe ache settled inside his chest. It felt like his heart was about to burst and he screwed up his face and tilted his head down and moaned towards his feet in the crunchy white.

He mumbled, "Jennifer, I don't feel so good. Can we go back now?" It was a clear indicator of how bad he was doing that he no longer cared about the strange phenomenon occurring in front of them. He just wanted to lie down and sleep where he could not feel any cold, pain or fear.

"Not until you've run a scan and can tell us what it is."

Rodney was shaking violently and that only redoubled what he was feeling. The cold was beginning to creep up his free arm from the open sleeve. He hoped it would hurry up and reach inside the jacket to numb the injuries soon or he was sure he was going to be sick again.

Jennifer held out the scanner again when they reached the top of the crater. The veil of snow being sucked upwards was clearer now and he could see that it connected with the ground in a cloud of mist so that it was impossible to see what was causing it to defy gravity in such a way. Unless the Ancients had left something behind on the planet which was now making itself known in a way that would scare two stranded and frightened people just out of spite?

Rodney removed his arm from her shoulders and snatched the device out of her hand and started the scan. Jennifer sighed, but took the opportunity to adjust the blankets wrapped around her until they were back in place after Rodney had moved them while he was being supported. She kept her right arm across his lower back and her fingers curled around his waist and he leaned a little further into her as they stood next to each other with their sides pressed together. She did not give way at all and Rodney took advantage of the sturdy pillar of strength next to him to lean even more of his weight until he was pushing it and she had to shift to compensate. Rodney stopped then and a moment later the scan cycle finished.

He studied the results and frowned at what he saw. "The range isn't far enough to tell what's causing it. The results seem to be scrambled quite a lot."

_Unless I'm losing the use of my mind as well as my body_, he thought.

"I'll need to run a scan with the better sensors in the Jumper if there's enough power. Whatever it is it doesn't seem to be getting any bigger for now."

Jennifer sighed, "Alright. Let's get ourselves _sorted_ out before we go back."

Rodney groaned inwardly at her euphemism, but he was too weak to stop her from helping him, even as the last shreds of his self consciousness and masculinity left him for good and circled the drain in a miserable little slurp.

* * *

When they returned to the Jumper a short while later, Rodney could not help noticing the monstrous scratches and claw marks on the hull from the day before as the creatures had come out looking for a McKay meat snack. But the bodies of the creatures had gone. Surely not all that had been left after the drone explosion could've been crammed into two crates?

"Jennifer, what happened to them?"

"I don't know. Maybe the leftovers got eaten by something in the night. I haven't seen any animals today though, I think they're clever enough to get away from the freakish snow curtain." She smirked at him, "Shame we're not though."

Rodney shot her a scathing look and her face quickly fell.

She sighed and as they entered the Jumper again she asked, "Where do you need to be?"

"Rear bench first." He grumbled as his foot caught the edge of the ramp and would have sent him sprawling if Jennifer had not been there to grab him.

She manoeuvred him over and sat him down.

He leant forwards and closed his eyes as he rubbed his cold face with his numb fingers. He then placed his hand on his injured side again as he tried his best to keep breathing even though it hurt like nothing he had ever felt before.

He heard the rear hatch close and the light coming through his eyelids dimmed into almost black. A moment later there was a gentle pressure on his uninjured shoulder and Jennifer asked, "What do you need?"

"Tablet. Lead. Spare rib. Two ZedPMs"

Jennifer did not laugh at him and he was torn between sorrow and gladness. The pressure increased momentarily and was then removed.

"Rodney?"

He cracked his eyes open as she passed him the computer. The lead was already plugged in. He rested the tablet on his lap and said, "Plug the other end of the lead into the crystal tray overhead. There should be an obvious connection point."

Jennifer did as he asked and then sat down next to him. She moved her arm across his back even though it was unnecessary, as he did not need anyone to hold him up while he sat. But he still needed someone to support him and it gave him some strength while he worked.

It was slow going and his fingers ached as they thawed out. But the new pain was nothing compared to the rest of what he was feeling. He wondered whether he was having a constant heart attack and how long it would take him to drown in the large amount of fluid he had in his lungs. Jennifer had neglected to mention _that_ despite her obviously knowing all about it and hiding it from him.

But he could feel the unpleasant rattle with every breath he took and every time he coughed. She kept on giving him furtive, knowing glances, which quickly turned to a sadness Rodney could only look at for a moment whenever he caught her eye. She clearly knew something and it was probably to do with how much time he had left. He knew she thought he was not going to make it, but after the outburst earlier, she would never tell him. He was unsure whether he wanted to know anyway, so he did not mention it. He merely counted each subsequent time his diaphragm moved down without his lungs choking him to death as a blessing which he had taken for granted his whole life. He never thought he would miss being able to breathe properly.

"Okay," he said after a while. "Cockpit now."

Jennifer hefted him up, moved him through the ship and gently settled him into the pilot's seat.

"It won't use up much power. There's nothing really left there anyway."

Jennifer sat in the co-pilot's chair and nodded. "It's alright. Just do what you have to."

Rodney was surprised she had not started shouting again and he mumbled, "That's right. So, _now_ you're being nice. It's only because I'm going to die really soon isn't it? I won't live to see the morning."

Jennifer did not answer him for a long time, which did nothing to boost his confidence or reassure him that he was going to make it through.

At length she said, "You'll be fine, Rodney. I'm here with you." But she did not sound very convincing.

He activated the sensors and ran the briefest and widest scan he could. It left him mentally drained and gasping, but it had to be done. Partly to satisfy his curiosity but also to find out whether it really was as dangerous as his primal instincts already seemed to know.

He frowned down at the screen of his computer when it was done and announced, "Okay, the gate has definitely gone. I can't see the beacon either, so they won't be able to find us even if they bother to come looking. Hmm, this is odd..."

Jennifer leaned in to peer at the tablet in his lap. "What is it?"

"Whatever's happening, it's not confined to the planet. The source of the gravitational pull is out in space. Quite close to where the gate once was."

He tapped a few more controls on the screen with his trembling hand. "Uh oh..." he breathed as he confirmed his growing fears.

Jennifer moved in so closely that he was sure he could feel her warm easy breaths blowing across him and it made him jealous that she could use her lungs properly while he couldn't. He was too scared to mention it or let it distract him from the lines of fearful data in front of him though.

He said, "It's a quantum singularity which is also called a black hole. The massive explosion from the unstable ZedPM and gate must've created it." He was too tired to go into the finer details and he knew that Jennifer would not understand anyway. She just needed to know... "This is bad. Very, very bad. Even worse than slowly freezing to death. And it _is_ getting bigger. The better sensors in the Jumper confirm it. The planet is being pulled into it; piece by piece."

"Oh! I've killed us both and destroyed a whole planet!" Jennifer cried. "I wish I'd never brought that thing back from Nadath!"

Rodney grimaced, "Well, you still can't beat me. Replicator homeworld… Nearly a whole solar system."

Jennifer was still looking dismayed, so he quickly added, "Anyway, it's not your fault! If I can't even test a ZedPM properly - the thing which I seek above everything else… I'm supposed to be the most intelligent man in the Pegasus, but I missed the explosive black hole creating death trap when it was sitting right in front of me! What does that make me?"

Jennifer rested her hand over his and said quietly, "Human."

"Well, that's not good enough! I should've seen it."

"And you did, just in time. Everyone on Atlantis is safe because of you."

"But while we're here, dying and forgotten, they're all sitting snugly. They've probably already had the memorial service and drafted in Zelenka as my replacement and Carson as yours."

"They're coming for us. We just have to stay alive until they do."

Rodney huffed and his lungs protested and made him splutter, "Easy for you to say! Your chest isn't filled with needles. The black hole is growing. Its influence will definitely reach us before any half assed rescue attempt. We're dead. There's absolutely no hope at all."

Jennifer remained silent and pensive after that, so Rodney closed his eyes.

After a while, he felt his head tipping forward where he sat in the seat and Jennifer reached across and steadied him. "You should get some rest. See if we can prolong the hopelessness for as much time as possible."

He opened his eyes and looked across at her. Her face was set in steely defiance and determination, but none of it transferred to him, because the numbers on the tablet could not lie to him and he knew that nothing could be done.

She helped him up and back towards the invitingly warm and soft blankets on the deck in the rear compartment. As he surrendered himself to dying in the next few days, he felt his mind shutting down as he struggled to cling on to anything which would make him want to endure.

The only thing he had was Jennifer and he focused on her. He knew that even though he did not want to suffer, he had to for her sake so that when the black hole sucked them from the surface, she would not have to face her fate alone.

There was a tug in the support next to him which informed him that Jennifer had stopped. He hissed in pain as his chest was contorted and asked, "What is it?"

"How can something so small which is just a highly charged battery do such a thing?"

Rodney was insulted, "Just a battery! I told you before, ZedPMs are so much more than your average double A!"

Jennifer quirked an eyebrow at him, "What, maybe like a double D then?"

Rodney frowned at her in confusion and exasperation. She sighed heavily, but he was too annoyed to worry about what he had just missed. He started to wave his hand, but had to stop when the movement sent shockwaves through his body to the most painful places. "No… No type of battery known on Earth."

Jennifer carefully lowered him down onto his back and wrapped him up while saying comforting, but empty words of reassurance, which just irritated Rodney no end.

He was soon so annoyed that he snapped as she knelt down next to him and smoothed out the blankets. He spoke with bitter sarcasm, "Yes, we'll be fine. I'm sure. Food, right, okay, burnt space monster. Check. Heat's now out and, oh great, a black hole! Things just get better and better! At least we're not going to be hungry while we freeze. Maybe we'll get pulled off the planet and suffocated instead! I'm not sure which one I prefer at the moment, seeing as I'll probably be dead before either one of those happens anyway!"

Jennifer glared at him and bunched her small hands into fists. For a moment Rodney thought that she looked so angry that she might lash out and hit him and he flinched. She managed to restrain herself, but the damage was already done. He exhaled in a painful cough, as his ribcage twisted, and closed his eyes as the motion jolted his arm as well. The interior of the Jumper dimmed in his eyes, far too quickly for it to be night falling again.

Rodney was aware that he was drifting in and out of consciousness and he occasionally dozed and went beneath where his mind could register the pain. The respite was brief but most welcome and for a while he wished he could stay there until the fire came back again and pulled him out of his blissful numbness.

He occasionally woke up enough to be aware of hands on him, sometimes holding his hand and sometimes on his face, leg or belly. He felt a small amount of calm being transfused through him from the touch, but it could not dull the mortal terror in his fading mind.

"I've got a present for you," Jennifer said when he was partially awake again. He had lost all sense of time, but it was still dull half light outside the Jumper and the interior was bright enough for him to see her leaning over him. She was holding his hand again, but the contact was calming and grounding him rather than embarrassing.

"Really?" he whispered sadly. "Is it a way off the planet? Has Sheppard come to get us? Can I go to the infirmary now?"

Jennifer's darkly shadowed face fell and she squeezed his hand, "I'm sorry, Rodney. I thought you'd like it."

He closed his eyes and mumbled, "Only if it's one of those."

"Oh. Well. I went back out there…"

Rodney's eyes flew open, "You did what?!"

"I… I went back out there… and… and I got the engine. It's just outside the rear hatch if you want to take a look."

Rodney closed his eyes again. As his chest rose in breath, it rattled and wheezed, but the pain was fading as he lost consciousness with a whispered, "Maybe tomorrow…"

Before he knew what was going on, it was night time again and a chill had descended over everything and was beginning to deepen. He shivered and his chest constricted in reflex to the movement and in anticipation of the pain to follow, which certainly did with avengeance. He gasped and continued to tremble.

That the planet was slowly dying, just as he was. Its death throes were just a lot more spectacular and beautiful, whereas Rodney's were quiet as he became more and more withdrawn to protect Jennifer from the worst effects of witnessing his agonizingly slow demise firsthand.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N - it's about to get very, very cold…_


	16. Planet Whitefall's Revenge

_A/N – I wrote some of this on the train with my new diddy netbook. Got a few funny looks from people sitting next to me as they peered at the screen. Dunno why…_

**_Chapter 16 - Planet Whitefall's Revenge_**

Jennifer saw the light gradually fading from Rodney as she watched over him for the rest of the day. In her heart she knew he was right; there was no way he was going to survive the next few days while they waited for rescue.

His condition was deteriorating worryingly quickly and he was slipping into a coma. She could do nothing to prevent it and he was becoming harder to rouse each time she needed to check on him.

If he fell unconscious permanently now, he would either starve or dehydrate because she could not provide any intravenous sustenance. Or maybe he would get a delayed infection as she would no longer be able to give him any more pills and luckily the antibiotics she had were currently succeeding at fighting any potential fever away.

Jennifer had brought the engine back that afternoon, part of her hoping that Rodney would be able to do something with it to warm them up during the coming night.

It had not been too far away and it gave her more time to admire the rise of the snow outside in both awe and fear, as the black hole drew it up and slowly ate away at the planet. She could now discern brown and grey flecks inside the cataclysm and knew that the rocks and mountains themselves were perishing and the Jumper would be next.

She also thought that she could hear something of the planet-destroying tempest too, unless her sight deceived her mind into thinking that there should be some noise from such a thing and therefore she heard something that was not there. What she thought she heard was a faint swishing sound, occasionally punctuated by the soft clack of rocks being torn apart and clashing together at a distance. If this now meant that it was getting nearer, then she was deeply afraid, as they still had so much time left to wait for rescue.

But her ever present and immediate concern was to keep Rodney alive.

She knew it had probably been a waste of time and energy to go out and get the engine, as Rodney was now far too weak to do anything with it. He had been indifferent about it when she had told him, but she had had to do something other than spend the whole afternoon staring at him as he drifted in and out of consciousness as though he was about to die in the next few minutes.

His breathing was noisy and laboured and occasionally stopped altogether, especially when he was asleep. She now realised that he had been suppressing the sounds when he had been awake. But he could no longer hide it any more in his vulnerable sleeping state.

Jennifer found that she unconsciously ended up breathing in time with him and holding her own breath when his chest stopped moving when it lasted for more than a few seconds. During those times she would take his hand or touch his face or any other part of him to reassure herself that he was not alone. She kept her hands on his warm body until she felt him moving again, and then maintained the contact for a few more minutes, just to be sure that he was not going to leave her.

After a few hours like that, she eventually ended up holding his hand constantly and unless her mind was playing tricks on her, even in sleep, he seemed less fitful and his breathing apparently became easier.

* * *

_**Planet Whitefall, The Fourth Night (6 days until rescue)**_

Night was falling outside the Jumper. The dimming light coming through the front window confirmed it. It was also getting very cold and the temperature was still plummeting. Jennifer's breath was steaming and she knew that it would not be much longer before she was so chilly that she would start slipping towards hypothermia. Without any more drones left to heat up the interior of the small vessel, all that she had was Rodney, a couple of sleeping bags and some blankets, between her and the ice passing through the air and wrapping everything inside its freezing embrace.

Her stomach rumbled emptily as she sat next to Rodney and studied his slack face where he lay sleeping on the deck. It had been hours since either of them had eaten and the prospect of chowing down on stale monster meat was not exactly appetising. After all the time they had spent on the planet, Rodney's stubble was fast turning into a beard, which appeared darker and thicker than ever against his ghostly pale skin.

He had not even so much as twitched for a couple of hours. His breathing was loud and erratic, and she could hear a deep rattle and wheeze in his lungs every time that his unconscious mind decided that he should keep breathing and stay alive for a little while longer.

In fact, he hadn't moved at all since Jennifer had told him about her foray outside which had ended in getting the engine back. She had hoped that he would have been excited and that it would have galvanised him to wake up and do something. But he had been more despondent than ever and her concern had grown. He had then merely slipped away from consciousness again due to his utterly exhausting pain, misery and worsening physical condition caused by the injuries she could not cure or ease without access to proper medical equipment.

She reached across and patted his scratchy face. "Rodney, can you hear me? It's time to wake up for food and drugs to help quieten that noisy chest of yours."

He did not move at all and this troubled her. She squeezed his free hand and rested her fingers on his hair-roughened cheek. "Rodney?"

He was impossible to rouse and a white terror gripped her heart that he had finally slipped into a coma and was now lost to her forever. But then his eyelids flickered and he groaned in a low voice before he started coughing.

Jennifer was so relieved that the emotion was almost palpable. He continued to cough and choke and she helped him up a little way and gave him some water. The liquid was already beginning to freeze on the outer edges of the bottle and she knew it was not doing his throat much good to provide him with such cold water. She had to do something to stave off dehydration for a little while. She hoped that maybe it would help his coughing too, even though she knew that it came from the fluid which was gathering inside his battered chest as the hours since his injury drew on and his body tried unsuccessfully to protect itself from the fallout of the initial trauma.

She gently rolled him over onto his unhurt side and he spluttered loudly onto the deck. It did not seem to help though, as the hacking only continued as he was engulfed by the worst coughing fit yet. Each renewed and savage hack he released was painful and horrific to listen to and hurt Jennifer right to her core as well.

She helped him to sit upright and shift backwards on the deck so that he was leaning against the base of the bench. He was trembling violently, but his breaths and therefore the coughing seemed to ease a little. He even managed to open his eyes after a while, when he was less concerned with the level of pain and gasping for where the next breath was going to come from.

"I'm cold," were the first words he was able to say. His haunted blue eyes took in his surroundings and finally found Jennifer sitting in front of him as she stared at his quaking form in concern.

"I know," she said back through equally chattering teeth. She pulled the blankets around him where they had slipped off and sealed them closed over his chest. He gripped them weakly from inside and she was able to let go and just watch him warily for signs that he was about to lose his hold on wakefulness and slump over.

She smiled as best she could that he was no longer choking and that he was back with her; however briefly his sojourn in consciousness would be this time. "I expect you're hungry too."

"Not for crispy snowman tiger."

"Well, that's all we've got, unless you want to starve?"

He did not answer and looked away from her. She furrowed her brow at how his face drooped down sadly as he inhaled a painfully lung-rattling breath. He let go of the blankets and they fell open as he drew his uninjured arm up across himself and wheezed, "I think I'll be dead from not being able to breathe long before I starve so it doesn't really matter."

"Of _course_ it matters! You'd better not be giving up on me, Rodney McKay!"

He just winced and shuddered as he inhaled another shaky breath.

Jennifer continued, "Come on, it'll be nice. Just you and me, we can have a lovely dinner and then sleep through the rest of the night wrapped up warmly in all the blankets. Then tomorrow morning we can fix the engine and get out of here!"

Rodney grunted and shivered. "You know as well as I do that everything you just said is a lie. The monster meat will be poisonous and undercooked. We'll both end up with hypothermia tonight and the engine is a total loss anyway."

Jennifer frowned in fury and threw up her hands at him. "Fine then. You can lie down and die without a fight. I don't care what you say! But _I'm_ going to live."

He flinched away from her and scrunched up his face with a pitiful moan and then held his breath.

She was so cross with his constant pessimism that she left him there and stood up. She made her way into the cockpit and stared vacantly at the intricate, beautiful and ever so slightly terrifying growth of ice crystals spreading all over the windscreen where they gathered both inside and outside the glass.

It was nearly dark outside. The drones had provided them with plenty of light the previous nights, but there were none left now, so she had to pull out a couple of torches. She placed one on the floor and held the other one as she retrieved some of the meat from one of the crates.

Hunting was out of the question now, as all the animals had fled from the upward pull of gravity. That meant that there was no more food to be had, apart from what she had been able to salvage from the creatures Rodney had killed.

The meat was greasy, but well cooked, and her mouth watered in hunger as she packed it into a couple of pieces of cloth; one for Rodney and one for herself. She peered into the crate and prayed that there would be enough for both of them. She was not about to count it only for herself as she had not, and totally refused to even consider, giving up on Rodney, even though he seemed to have little faith in himself that his strength would hold.

She took it back into the rear compartment and sat next to Rodney where his head was hanging down and he was studying the deck in grim fascination. She passed him a package and he took it, but did not eat. He simply held it in his hand and gazed blearily ahead of himself as his eyes glazed over.

"Eat," Jennifer said.

The focus returned to his eyes, but he still did not move.

She said, "I'd eat it for you if I could, but only you can do it, Rodney. And you'd better; because I don't want you to start complaining about being hungry and hypoglycaemic next!"

He nodded vaguely and unwrapped the parcel in his lap. Jennifer waited until he actually started eating before she focused on her own. She eyed the pieces she had chosen warily. She had picked the worst of it, some was blackened and burnt and clearly full of gristle, because she had then been able to give the best parts to Rodney. It was going to be nasty, but it was still a hell of a lot better than the squidy thing that Teyla had once forced her to eat.

She closed her eyes and bit down. As she chewed, she discovered that it was not as bad as it had appeared. Sure, it was smoky and some of it made her feel like her mouth was full of ashes, but what she _could_ taste was similar to pork and in her ravenous hunger she had soon polished it all off.

She turned to Rodney and her heart clenched in pity as he munched very slowly and then stopped. He had barely even made a dent in what she had given him and she encouraged him, "Good cooking, Rodney! But even a chef has to eat."

" 'm not hungry," he mumbled with his eyes closed. "You can have it." He trembled and moved his hand around his side and allowed his head to droop down once more.

His body was already failing and not eating enough wasn't going to do him any favours. "Don't make me force it into you, Rodney!"

He replied in a dull monotone, "Jennifer Keller; doctor, monster killer, engine dragger and torturer of injured men. Somehow I don't think force feeding me would faze you very much."

She baulked and grabbed his unhurt hand and pulled it away from him. He offered little resistance as she held onto him tightly. "It's for your own good." She broke off some of the better meat she had given him and placed it in his hand. "Eat it," she commanded with her fingers curled firmly around his wrist.

She could feel that he was trying to pull away from her, but she was too strong for him. With her guidance, he managed to finish most of it before he started to beg, "Please. No more. I'll be sick and waste all that effort you just put in."

She nodded. She was satisfied that he now had enough sustenance in him not to die of starvation and that his hypoglycaemia would not be causing any problems to add on top of the painful and life draining affects of his injuries.

She gave him some pills and frowned at how few she had left. Certainly not enough to last for the rest of the time they had left to wait for rescue.

She then packed everything away and started worrying about the chill which was seeping through her jacket. She was already very cold and goose bumps rose all over her skin as she shivered. She could not imagine how awful it was for Rodney, especially as the painkillers did not seem to be doing very much to ease his agony. Even though he was too weak to express it, she knew that he was suffering and she could do nothing about it.

It was now pitch black outside and the only sounds she could hear were coming from her cold and trembling breaths and Rodney's much more laboured and shallower ones.

She clicked off one of the torches to save the batteries and the Jumper was plunged almost into complete darkness with only a single beam of light now penetrating the black.

She went into the rear compartment and spread out the sleeping bags and blankets and then approached and crouched down in front of Rodney where he still sat propped up against the bench. At first she thought he was asleep, but she then realised in the gloom that his eyes were narrowly open and he was watching her in fear.

He mumbled through quivering lips, "How cold is it?"

Jennifer shrugged, "I don't know."

"I meant I need the scanner," he said, sounding irritated.

"Oh." Jennifer reached into her pocket and handed it to him.

He placed it in his lap and tapped the screen with his only mobile hand. He then held it up and frowned. "Minus twenty. Hmm, I don't think it's that cold yet. Huh? Plus thirty? Minus ten?"

He shook the scanner a little and grimaced. "It's the black hole. It's screwing around with the readings. I have no idea what the temperature is. All I know is that I'm freezing!"

Jennifer's belly suddenly lurched unpleasantly as she had a thought. "Well, we'll just have to sleep closer together tonight."

"What?" Rodney's eyes widened in terror and then swept up and down her as he took her in, so quickly that she nearly missed it. He then looked away as he continued, "I-I-I don't think so!"

"We're friends, aren't we?" Jennifer narrowed her eyes at him dangerously. "Are you telling me that you'd rather die than get close enough so that we can share our heat? Gee, thanks, Rodney."

He held up his hand, "No no no no! I'm just not used to women throwing themselves at me or wanting to get close enough to actually touch me."

Jennifer was both saddened and slightly confused by his statement and said sincerely, "I don't know why that is."

His face rose a little in hopefulness.

She shrugged and continued, "Anyway, this is about _survival_."

His face dropped again and he let out a small sigh. He looked away and mumbled, "Well, you know, just don't touch my ribs or arm… or shoulder."

Jennifer rolled her eyes and huffed. The prospect of getting up close and very personal with Rodney filled her with dread and she could feel her heart fluttering.

She said, "Now isn't the time for modesty." She gave him a sheepish grin. "Just don't ever speak of it again when we get back."

"I won't be around for you to speak with..."

A disgruntled growl came up her throat and she said angrily, "Yes. You will. What can I do to get it through that head of yours that you're going to live? You've done nothing but complain and condemn yourself to death ever since the attack and yet; here you are. Isn't it enough reassurance for you that you've survived for this long? You'll keep going for a few more days while we wait."

He was silent for a long time. The only sound was the wheeze in his chest, which was not exactly reassuring Jennifer that she had been right. She knew she was probably wrong, but she knew that motivation through words could do a lot to keep a person going, even if they were at the brink of death.

He eventually said, "I doubt whether Caldwell would let the Daedalus get so close to a black hole to pick us up anyway."

Jennifer glared at him and his eyes quickly darted away from her face when he saw the expression. He quickly continued, "B-but, alright. As long as you don't bring what we're about to do up either. _Especially_ around Sheppard."

Jennifer nodded and smiled. Needs must and all that be damned. She actually _wanted_ to get nearer to him and not just for the warmth it would provide. She was glad for the excuse to be able to and for some reason she thought that he did not seem reluctant about it either as he had not protested at all. He just seemed nervous.

She helped him to lie back on the deck and rolled him onto his uninjured side. She grabbed all the blankets and lay down beside him so that his back was next to her. She drew the coverings over both of them, paying special attention to make sure that Rodney was completely covered and then rolled over so that she was facing the same direction as him.

She hesitated to touch him because he seemed to be asleep already and she could not see his face to tell. She tentatively reached out towards him with her hand under the covers and soon made contact with his back. He flinched under her touch and groaned. It was not even that cold yet, but she could feel that he was already shaking and the temperature continued to drop.

She moved even closer and rested her head on her left arm while she wrapped her right around his soft midsection, avoiding the bandaging over the healing cuts. She was very careful not to make contact with his broken bones either or to squeeze him too tightly due to his nervous disposition. And she did not want to appear too forward and scare him off. She was still deeply embarrassed for not only herself, but for him as well, but neither of them would survive unless they could battle past their blushing and self-consciousness to share the warmth between them in the approaching cold of the night ahead.

The bare skin of his arms felt so cold that she steeled herself and peeled off her jacket so that she could get closer and press her own much warmer skin against his chilled flesh.

He mumbled, "Cold..."

"Hang on a moment and we'll both be nice and toasty."

She inhaled a deep shaky breath as she moved over and gently spooned him from behind. She pressed herself against his broad back and butterflies fluttered in her belly as she shimmied in until she felt his rump in the place where her legs joined her lower abdomen. She bent her legs until she felt his and adjusted hers to match. They fitted together perfectly, like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and she smiled where she knew he could not see her expression.

His much cooler damaged body trembled in her grasp as she held him as near as she could without hurting him or restricting his chest. The smell of him was overpowering at such close proximity, and after days without being able to wash it had been made even stronger. A small part of his scent reminded her of pain and there was also a faint hint of metallic blood underneath it all from where the fluid had dried onto his abdomen and into his tattered shirt from the cuts. But most of it was the pure smell of Rodney without any manmade products masking it. She nuzzled closer and breathed more deeply in time with the movement she could feel in front of her as he breathed too.

The distinctive masculine aroma filled her nostrils and dazzled her senses. It set alight a feral desire within her and she quickly repressed the flames in her heart as best she could in fearfulness of what she might do if she let her instincts take over. Rodney was too badly hurt to stand a chance at resisting her and she knew that there was no way he could feel the same way! Not after his comment about her torturing him.

She let the enveloping warmth of his body and the intimate contact coupled with the pleasant male scent all around her lull her off to sleep. For the first time since she had met him, she wished to stay there forever wrapped around and tangled up with him.

She was suddenly even more afraid than she had ever been of what would happen in the future if he did not make it. He was hanging onto life by his fingertips as he balanced precariously close to death. Soon his damaged lungs would not be able to keep him alive anymore and she silently begged him, and anyone else who may be listening, for him not to go away and leave her alone. Not only on the ice world, but afterwards if they ever got rescued.

She vowed that they would either die together or not at all. And she would not settle for any other option.

* * *

_TBC_

_A/N - Rodney is so snugglable and totally huggable... As always, I love to hear from you as to whether you are enjoying this story._


	17. The Inexorable Attraction

_A/N – Huh?! This is the longest story I've ever written now… Dunno how that happened…_

**_Chapter 17 – The Inexorable Attraction_**

_**Planet Whitefall, The Fourth Night (6 days until rescue)**_

Jennifer woke up in the dead of night, with her teeth chattering and her body shivering. The torch battery had long since run out of power and the pitch black pressed in heavily on her eyes. _Cold_ did not really cut it for how she was feeling. _Freezing_; only just. _Glacial_ perhaps? That was more like it. The oppressive darkness surrounding her did not help either.

There was no warmth at all and as the icy chill woke her up more fully, she breathed, "Rodney...?" into the empty void.

She could no longer feel his warmth and for a moment her mind was overwhelmed with grief. There was a faint whimper and then the quiet wheeze of someone starting to breathe again after a long pause. The sound was close at hand and she sighed in relief as she moved towards where the noise had come from.

Her front connected with Rodney's back again and the edge was instantly taken off the negative temperature inside the ship they were occupying. She moved her hand over his side as she felt along him in the dark. He murmured in his sleep but did not wake. She then worked her hand under the shredded remnants of his shirt and gently placed her arm against the smooth skin below where the bandages were still wrapped around his middle.

It was to check his core skin temperature, she told herself, but maybe she was indulging a little bit too. She rested her arm across his warm belly and she found that she could also feel every tremble and every faltering breath he took. She also did it to make sure that he would stay alive as she could not see him breathing in the dark. It would take her longer to notice the silence if the lack of sound was the _only_ indicator that he had stopped breathing.

She could feel the fine hairs on his lower abdomen under her hand and found that his stomach was slightly squishy in a very pleasant way. She thought that he felt nice and cuddly and warm and… well... _normal_. She liked the way her fingers sunk into his fleshy belly as she maintained the contact and held onto him tightly. She wanted to more fully explore the softness she found there with her fingers, but she had not yet earned that right and she doubted that she ever would. He was way out of her league when it came to both looks and intelligence, so she grudgingly desisted and stayed strictly professional.

He inhaled a deeper breath and she felt his abdomen rise up under her arm in time with the sound. Her touch had succeeded in quietening him and he stopped muttering as his breathing took on a more deliberate and even quality, despite how painful and difficult it still sounded.

Jennifer held onto him and hoped that they would not break apart again as she thawed out enough to fall asleep once more.

* * *

_**Planet Whitefall, Day Four (6 days until rescue)**_

Jennifer woke up to a loud whooshing sound, an incredibly white light pressing on her eyelids and an icy breeze caressing her exposed face. She was still hugging something, but it was cold and did not have the consistency of a human body. She quickly deduced that it was certainly not Rodney she was feeling in front of her.

She opened her eyes blearily towards the early morning light. The first thing she noticed was that it was so cold because the rear hatch was open and icy air along with bright sunlight were streaming into the ship. The next thing she realised was that Rodney was gone.

He had somehow managed to escape, and in his place he had pushed his coverings into Jennifer's arms to stop her from noticing his absence for as long as possible. The cold weather jacket was still there but he seemed to have at least taken some of the blankets as she noticed several were missing along with the man himself.

_Where had he gone and why_? was what Jennifer asked herself as she quickly pushed the covers back. Ignoring the sudden chill piercing her skin and freezing her bones, she pulled on the jacket, grabbed the gun and dashed out after him. She went out into the dying white world as the black hole continued to diminish it with every passing minute. The deadly vortex in space did not even pause to acknowledge Jennifer's fear over what Rodney had done to himself and whether he was still alive somewhere out there.

They were even closer to being engulfed and sucked from the surface. There was nothing she would do about it and neither could Rodney. Even in his intelligence, he had no idea how to save them, and coupled with his life threatening injuries he had not even been able to try. So convinced he was in his pessimistic certainty that they were going to die, he had not even so much as looked at the engine which still lay broken and now coated in snow next to the rear hatch.

She pulled out the scanner, but without Rodney's touch it was completely useless. The screen stayed dull in her grasp as it refused to work for her. It remained resolutely blank, no matter how much of her desperate will she channelled towards it to try and get it to work and show her where Rodney had wandered off to, leaving her all alone.

The dying throes of the planet were definitely audible now. There was no mistaking the approaching loud whoosh as rocks and ice were torn apart and drawn upwards by the superior gravity of the black hole she had had a hand in creating. She glanced fearfully at the spectacle for a moment while searching the endless white for a darker object with would mark Rodney's form. The wall of ice was so near now that the sun was in danger of being veiled and hidden from them forever; no matter how high it rose into the sky.

In fact, it was so close that she was fairly certain that today was going to be the day. The day that the pull reached them and they became nothing more than extra pieces of the planet to be drawn up and crushed to infinity.

The brightness of the unhidden sky and the terror of the snow curtain only served to intensify the sorrow that Rodney was somehow already lost to her; that she would now have to face being torn apart all alone without him. She felt a sudden grief, so sharp that it was almost like a physical pain in her chest. This world was now dying in parallel with Rodney. As the world ended, so did his life.

He was so selfish! How could he leave her like this?! She didn't care how badly hurt he was, that was no excuse! The least Rodney could have done would be to stay in the Jumper!

Unless he had come outside for some other purpose?

She suddenly reached the only conclusion her shattered mind could present; he had gone outside to die. He had forced himself away from her as he wanted to be alone as he crawled along and curled up somewhere far away. Almost as though he thought that in doing so he could protect her from witnessing him giving up his weak grip on life, either next to her or in her arms as she was still powerless to do anything to prevent it.

He thought he could get away and that somehow that would make it right! As though it was easier for him to drift off that way and easier on her not to have to watch. But he could not have been more wrong in that assumption and Jennifer was not going to let him get away with it.

If he was not already dead, she would insist that he stayed with her no matter how much he wanted to be alone. If having no-one around was all that he needed to die, then she would never let him out of her sight ever again!

She suddenly saw a dark human shape lying in the snow a little way ahead and she ran over to Rodney's totally still form where he lay. The blankets were barely covering him and his face was as pale as the snow he was embedded in.

"Rodney! Why did you do this? I haven't got anything to warm you up!" She thought for a moment and then said quietly, "Except for..." _myself_.

He trembled and opened his eyes narrowly as she knelt down next to him. As she glanced around the immediate vicinity she spotted an area of melted snow nearby. There was a faintly sour smell in the air too and she knew that he had been sick fairly recently.

He blinked up at her vacantly and she pulled the blankets around his quaking frame as she said sternly, "You'd better not die, McKay! Because if you do, it'll all be my fault! For bringing you the ZPM… For being too slow to move out of the way… For not being able to fix you up!"

He rolled over onto his unhurt side and coughed painfully. He reached up with a trembling hand as Jennifer held onto him and he placed it in front of his mouth as he choked and writhed.

He coughed up blood into the palm of his left hand and looked up at her. He was dazed and giggled a little disconcertingly as he turned his red stained hand around to show her. He wheezed, "Shouldn't that be _inside_ me?" He then collapsed back down to the ground and closed his eyes as his face smoothed out.

Jennifer shook his uninjured arm gently and cried, "No! Wake up! Don't sleep now. We've still got days to go and you'll starve or die from dehydration!"

Something must have happened to turn the broken rib inwards into his already mortal chest trauma and it was finally too much for his lung to take. He opened his eyes blearily and whispered weakly, "Sick again…"

She helped him to kneel up and then he leaned over and dry heaved into the snow in front of him. Flecks of dark red blood were all that he threw up. They landed in the snow, but they were too small to melt through it before they froze.

There was a sudden almighty crack and the earth under her moved violently to the side. She was only just able to keep her balance, but Rodney, in his weakened state slipped sideways where he was kneeling down and landed on his wounded side.

His cry was lost in the wind as the influence of the black hole reached them and snow began to rise from under Jennifer's feet. Visibility quickly lowered to zero and Jennifer struggled to see through the fog as shards of ice rushed up her body and through her hair as they were torn up. The ground lurched and dipped with an ear splitting crunch and she fell forwards onto all fours and then rolled away as the earth moved sideways alarmingly.

The noise was so terrifyingly loud that she swore that it was the sound of mountains and valleys being torn asunder. The volume continued to crescendo until she could not hear anything other than the breaking ground and howling wind whistling past her ears. She then started shaking uncontrollably as the air brushed her skin and infiltrated her coverings to freeze her skin.

She shouted, "Rodney! Where are you?" into the wall of snow, but her voice reflected back at her so quietly she could barely hear it through the deafening gale.

She knew that she was about to die. If the pull could draw rocks away from the surface, her weight would be nothing to the gravity sheer. Maybe she would get struck by a loose boulder and not have to endure flying up through the sky in gut clenching terror.

She crawled along in the direction where she thought Rodney lay and blinked as icy water tugged at her eyelashes and ran into her eyes. It was getting harder to breathe as the water closed in around her, drowning her, and the pull from above threatened to lift her away.

Her hand brushed something warmer than the snow and she discovered that even through the disorientation, she had managed to find Rodney. He was still lying on his injured side and blood was steadily trickling from his slack mouth. The droplets where rising up the moment they were free and flying away before they could trail across his pale face.

The whirl of ice and snow around them made it feel as though it was just Jennifer and Rodney cut off from everything else in the whole universe forever. The gale turned into a roar as Jennifer drew Rodney's limp body up and into her arms. She sat back on her haunches and cradled him against her chest. His head was just beneath her chin and she leant forwards and planted a slow kiss into his damp, ice cold hair.

He did not move at all so she worked a hand around him and placed it against his neck. A weak pulse tapped rapidly against her fingers and she smiled sadly with her brow furrowed.

The snow against her face melted as warm tears finally started to run unhindered from her eyes only to be torn away by the wind and gravity.

She closed her eyes and held Rodney's lower abdomen as tightly as she could to stop them from being separated when the inevitable happened in a few minutes. Even with the combined weight of both of them as they sat fused together, they would be no match for nature and the impossibly high gravity from the anomaly overhead. She was glad that she was with him but she was unsure whether to be sorrowful that he was unconscious and she was the only one wary of what was going on, or to be glad that the universe had finally decided to be merciful on Rodney after all his pain and allow him to already be sleeping before he rested forever.

She had done the best job she could, but it had not been enough. She had failed him. He had had to endure so much that she was breaking down and letting out all her emotions from the past few days. The sorrow for what he had gone through and the fact that she had allowed it was unforgivable and she felt her will and strength were now utterly gone. He was not conscious to hear it, so she no longer bottled it up.

She continued to cry, what little good it did against the unsympathetic sky. The unmerciful tug took no heed of her wailing as the black hole continued to relentlessly pull everything from the surface of the planet. Her tears did not even have a chance to make contact with her cheeks before they were torn away - just more frozen liquid in a massive rising waterfall. She pressed her face against Rodney's head where it lolled down towards his chest and sobbed noisily into his hair.

She kept her eyes firmly closed and when a voice spoke to her, it took a while to break through to here where she lay in the deepest and darkest depths of sorrow. She could not hear the words at first and she thought it must be a trick of the swirling winds around her. Through her eyelids she could tell that it was getting darker as more of the ground beneath was pulled up and blotted out the sun.

The strange sensation that someone was trying to speak to her through the deafening roar was enough to make her stop her unashamed crying for a moment and just listen. She concentrated while Rodney's rapid pulse thumping against her fingers kept going, seemingly as unstoppable as the black hole itself, while his reassuringly warm, dead weight in her arms kept her grounded. Literally.

Suddenly something struck her shoulder and she winced in anticipation, but there was no pain. The contact stayed and she even managed to open her eyes.

There was a warm breeze against her ear and a presence around her and she suddenly understood the words, "Do you need a hand there?"

Her voice shook as she cried, "Yes!"

The grip on her shoulder increased and she kept hold of Rodney's heavy bulk as she was pulled upright. The gravity switching conflict made it easier to stand. She looked around and saw three figures through the growing gloom and constant gale and swirl of snow. They were human and clad in the same type of cold weather gear as she and Rodney had once owned during better times, seemingly so long ago now, in a time where pain, misery and hardship had just been empty words.

Their faces were masked and veiled and she had to narrow her eyes, as chips of ice blew into them, to try and see who was there.

Two of them took Rodney away from her and she protested the loss but she was too weak and her muscles were numb and useless from the cold air being pounded against her to do anything about it. She kept one hand latched firmly onto him as he was manhandled away from her. She was shell-shocked and called out "Please be careful with him! He's badly hurt!"

"It's okay. You're safe now. Let them help him," the voice close to her ear shouted.

She had no choice but to release him and he was soon swallowed up into the snow and she could no longer see him.

A coat was wrapped around her and a firm hand on her arm guided her through the walls of flowing ice.

She stumbled and the hand turned into a support across her back.

There was only white snow and wind and noise all around her.

But then it suddenly stopped and Jennifer allowed herself to do the same as her mind fell into darkness.

* * *

_TBC…_

_A/N – Swiiiishoosh! Fans of Rodney hugging may want to check out my new author picture. Be quick though, I change my picture like my socks…_


	18. Guilt and the Long Road to Acceptance

_A/N – And now for a very incredibly loooong chapter to wrap it all up!_

**_Chapter 18 – Guilt and the Long Road to Acceptance_**

The once massive white and brown orb of water and rock quickly collapsed in on itself and then winked out of existence entirely as it was drawn into the black hole and lost forever. The place where it had once hung in space and spun around its home sun, became nothing more than an area of black, darker than the void behind. It was totally invisible to the eye and belied the power and danger now hidden in that area of the universe.

And through it all, a single tiny ship came slowly accelerating, not caught in the galactically massive snag of the end of the world it had just left. Onboard the vessel, five lifesigns resided, one weak, and the other four steady and strong.

* * *

Jennifer woke up only just after she had fallen asleep. At least that's what it felt like, but then she realised that it must have been longer as she could see a metal roof above her head which wasn't a Puddle Jumper. She was content to just lie there in blissful unawareness, but she felt cold and very, very tired. She was dimly aware that something monumental and terrifying had occurred and it really should have been something she recalled immediately upon waking. But the memories eluded her as she gazed up at the currently unfamiliar ceiling overhead in confusion. Her blankness and ignorance of the clearly very important events which had transpired before her unconsciousness kept gnawing at her and gradually clawed their way up to the surface.

She gasped in shock, as fleeting images and emotions came back to her in rapid succession, far too fast for her to comprehend and process. She was no longer quite as cold as her last memory and it had only taken a few seconds for her mind to sufficiently thaw for them to come back. She took a deep breath as the whirlwind of thoughts settled down into a coherent order and arranged themselves chronologically. But with that knowledge came questions.

How had she got away and where was she? It certainly wasn't the Atlantis infirmary, as she remembered those walls and could trace every contour and shade of colour in her mind's eye. She remembered figures taking Rodney away from her weak grip, cruelly stealing him from her in his final moments. What had they done to him? Where was he? Was he still alive or had he flown away from her?

Panic suddenly gripped her and she sat bolt upright in the bed and pushed away the warm blankets. A snag in her hand automatically indicated that she had a needle in there, feeding her warmed fluids to counteract the hypothermia. But she did not care; she only wanted to see Rodney, to touch him and to find out one way or another, exactly what had happened after she had lost him in the rising snow being torn from the dying world.

One quick glance around her told her panic-sharpened mind that she was in the infirmary on the Daedalus. Another sweep and she saw one of the crew, who was standing in as a nurse, purposefully striding towards her. Then her eyes landed on an area of frantic activity at the other side of the room. So many people were crowding around one of the beds that she could not discern who they were working on.

They were talking and she listened intently, her hearing suddenly pin-drop acute in adrenaline, as one of them called for some equipment. She heard them ask for a scalpel and some tubing and she said in fright, "Rodney!?"

The nurse had reached her by now and placed a placating hand on her shoulder as she made to swing her legs over the side of the bed and get up. "I have to help him!" She cried, but her voice sounded weak and unconvincing and her legs refused to co-operate.

The nurse shook her head and turned to where Rodney was and then back to Jennifer. She said, "I think you've done enough."

But the kindly spoken words were twisted round in Jennifer's mind and she took them the wrong way as she said, "I know! That's why I have to do something to help now!

Her eyes darted around the room and the woman patiently blocking her path. She suddenly noticed that Rodney's team were there too, clad in cold weather gear and looking windswept.

They were all watching her from where they stood at the edge of the room away from the seemingly manic storm of activity around the supine and still figure on the bed at the other end of the room.

Rodney had an oxygen mask over his face and numerous IV lines pushed into his body to provide him with much needed lost fluids and warmth. But Jennifer knew there was not enough blood leaving his mouth and instead it remained trapped and deadly as it leaked out inside him into place it shouldn't be. She was too tired and emotionally drained to clinically detach herself as they unbound the sling she had made and moved his fractured arm away from his barely moving chest. They cut away the ragged clothing and exposed his upper body.

The bandages wrapped around him were darkened, dirty and spotted with black where the blood had dried on from pulled stitches and changed colour in the days since the claws had lacerated his fragile skin. His chest was every shade of purple and red and the bruising had spread and worsened since she had last seen it. But then, the lights were much brighter here.

One of the doctors spoke quickly to the others, informing them that Rodney's chest wall was full of blood and that the haemothorax was preventing him from breathing properly. They said that if it wasn't drained quickly, the pressure on his lungs and heart would suffocate and kill him.

She had an idea what they were going to do, but that did not make it any less shocking when one of them pushed a scalpel in between his ribs and placed a tube in the cut.

Jennifer shifted to try and get up to assist, and she saw John bunch his hands into fists, Teyla's eyes narrowed in sympathy and Ronon stared, seemingly in indifference, but Jennifer knew him better than that; he was shocked.

She nearly cried out for them to stop as red, so dark it was almost black, poured forth from the wound they had inflicted on Rodney. But her rational mind reasserted itself and stopped her just in time. They were helping him and his breathing was easier, but still far too shallow and he was losing too much life force alarmingly quickly. She was grateful that he was still unconscious and therefore not in any pain as he was unaware of what they were doing.

Jennifer found herself being pushed back down onto the bed by the woman even when she weakly mumbled, "I can help!"

The nurse shook her head and Jennifer watched as Rodney was finally stabilised enough to be moved out of the main room and into the operating theatre off the infirmary. Another duty nurse held back Rodney's team as they tried to follow and she saw Sheppard hanging his head down in defeat, Teyla's face drooped in sadness and Ronon glared at the door as it slid shut and his face remained unreadable and stoic.

A blanket of near-silence descended. Only the gentle hum of the engines and the whirr of nearby machinery could be heard. But the air was heavy with tension and filled with smells of metal and antiseptic and pain.

Jennifer was suddenly exhausted and allowed the nurse to help her lie back and pull up the blankets and readjust the IV where it had moved slightly in her struggle. She sighed and let herself sink into the warming pillows, but her heart was beating quickly and the vice of fear, which had been ever-present since Rodney had been hurt, was squeezing the life out of her bit by bit. The burden of guilt she bore made it even harder to breathe and if Rodney died, she was unsure she would be able to breathe at all.

The nurse nodded and said, "Try to get some rest. I'll be just over there." She indicated the mess of equipment and packaging along with spots and puddles of blood all around the place where a moment ago Rodney had been lying on the gurney like nothing more than a slab of rare and tender meat.

The nurse continued, "Holler or press the button if you need anything."

Jennifer nodded and closed her eyes as she saw Sheppard making a beeline for her with Teyla and Ronon on his heels. In Jennifer's mind, Rodney's team were waiting to see what she had to say for herself for bringing Rodney back so seriously injured. They would want her to explain her actions and answer for what she had done to him. She was not a part of their group and she could never impose on the bond they shared which made them almost like family. If she wanted to be friends, or more, with Rodney, she would have to seek their approval first and she had definitely not made a good impression with the disastrous return.

She tried to even out her breathing so that she could pretend to be asleep. But they must have seen her just moments before, so she knew it was hopeless and she could not avoid them.

All Jennifer's instincts and thoughts were of the recriminations about to be thrown in her direction and she tensed up when Teyla said, "Thank you for everything you have done for Rodney, Dr Keller. It cannot have been easy."

She obviously couldn't fool any of them, so she resigned herself and opened her eyes. She gave Teyla a small incredulous smile, but the Athosian seemed sincere.

Then Jennifer's eyes settled on Ronon, seeking his permission in equal, or possibly even greater measure than Sheppard or Teyla's. A ghost of emotion suddenly flickered across his face. She thought it looked like disappointment, perhaps even jealousy, quickly followed by guilt. But the rapid stream of emotions was quickly checked and hidden again before she could be sure of what, if anything, she had seen.

He nodded at her as he became closed off again, "Yes, thanks. Hope you feel better soon."

With that, Ronon became silent and pensive once more where he stood with Teyla and John as they lingered and hovered by Jennifer's bed. She knew they were waiting for news on Rodney, but their presence was still like a crushing weight upon her; like she was an intruder in a private family matter and that she did not belong with these people and they would never want her to be a part of their close knit group.

She had a lot of work to do to gain their acceptance, she knew it was going to be difficult, but if she wanted to be more than just friends with Rodney, it was necessary to do whatever it took, no matter how _long_ it took, to be welcomed into his surrogate family.

Sheppard had still not spoken and Jennifer looked at him and found his eyes downcast. She could see the muscles in his face working and knew that he was grinding his teeth. It was not a good sign and she broke the awkward silence by asking, "How did you reach us so quickly? Rodney said that it would take at least ten days."

Teyla replied, "Dr Zelenka may have done something… _illegal_ to the engines, while Colonel Caldwell turned a blind eye."

Jennifer raised her eyebrows at his implication and John suddenly perked up a little and quickly added, "That is, something involving modifications Hermiod had always banned due to the danger of an overload if not properly monitored."

Ronon nodded, "Don't tell Caldwell."

Jennifer nodded, "My lips are sealed." Trust Radek to go above board to reach his friend in time! But then she felt sad. These people had done all this for Rodney, not her. If it had just been her alone on the planet, she doubted they would have disobeyed orders and risked their lives and careers to reach her so quickly. Rodney had a special place with these people and she had now experienced firsthand the friendships which ran deep. But even after all the time she had been on Atlantis and how many lives she had saved, she still felt like she was trying to settle into the large shadow and live up to the expectations of their previous CMO.

John said, "The Daedalus also bypassed Atlantis as soon as we realised we couldn't dial the gate to reach you. They picked us up along with a couple of Jumpers on the way." His voice trailed off at the end and Jennifer couldn't help noticing that John had still not met her eye.

She furrowed her brow at how sad they all looked and said quietly, "Colonel, Teyla, Ronon… I… I'm sorry."

"'Bout what?" Ronon asked.

"About Rodney and how badly hurt he is."

Teyla frowned, "We do not yet know what happened to you. We have not passed any judgement and nor shall we, until we know the full story. We are merely worried for him…"

Jennifer sighed.

"…and you." Teyla ended.

Jennifer looked up and saw that Teyla was either telling the truth or guarding her emotions very carefully as she saw no deception in Teyla's face. She felt even guiltier though. How could they all be so forgiving after what had happened and how could they blindly trust that nothing Jennifer had done had been the cause of Rodney's injuries?

Jennifer directed her explanation at John. "We crashed and then we were attacked. Rodney took the fall to save me. He's been very ill for days now and getting worse. I didn't have anything... I couldn't do anything for him to ease it! He's suffered so much I don't know how much of the pain he'll remember or what he'll be like if he remembers everything that happened. It was like torture to him and I was the cause of it most of the time…" She trailed off as tears prickled the corners of her eyes and she closed them to avoid showing her weakness in front of Rodney's friends.

She felt a pressure on her shoulder and when she opened her eyes, John was looking down at her kindly. He visibly steeled himself and said, "You did good. You kept Rodney going and that takes nerves. We all know from experience how he can be sometimes and I can't imagine it was easy. So, uh, thanks."

Jennifer furrowed her brow in confusion as John relinquished his grip and said, "Try to get some rest. We'll wake you when we hear anything about him."

Jennifer closed her eyes in relief. She found it strange that she had their forgiveness so easily, but she knew that Rodney's would be much harder to obtain. If he survived, that was. It was doubtful that he would ever like her again and she thought that they had had the start of something much deeper. He had been a good friend and she would do anything for him so that she did not lose that bond after all that had happened over the past few days. She was unsure whether he would be so forgiving and that they could ever go back to how they once were.

Even through the fear that he was dying beyond the closed door at the other end of the room, she was so tired and cold that her surroundings and thoughts slowly faded away as she succumbed to much needed sleep.

* * *

Several days passed since the rescue and the Daedalus entered orbit above Atlantis where the city floated on the ocean far below.

Rodney had not yet woken up after his surgery and his forearm had had to be rebroken and set where it had lost alignment and partially healed. It was now in a sturdy cast and his chest and abdomen were wrapped in bandages. He was able to breathe on his own, although with some difficulty, and his lungs were slowly healing. The broken rib had punctured one, but now that he had proper medical attention, superior than the medieval conditions on the planet, his condition was not as critical or life threatening.

Jennifer and Rodney stayed in the Daedalus' infirmary while things were being prepared for transport.

Rodney slept on, while Jennifer sat propped up in the bed next to his and kept an eye on him as she had done for so many hours on the planet. There was no fear anymore though, only the soft warmth of relief and gratitude in her heart that, given time, he would be alright physically. She preferred it that he was asleep as she did not have to face him or what he was going to say to her about the treatment he had received.

John, Teyla and Ronon would often visit and she was glad for the reprieve from her accusing thoughts as they spoke to her and Rodney, even though he was unconscious. His team would often stay with them. After a few of these visits, Jennifer even began to relax a little in their company. She still felt like an outsider, but they spoke to her and sat in between the beds instead of just next to Rodney. It was almost like she was a part of their group and it gradually set her mind at ease.

* * *

A few days later still and with the Daedalus long gone and part way back to Earth, Rodney started to come round. He was now settled into a bed in Atlantis' infirmary and frequent scans showed that his injuries were healing nicely and his strength was returning.

Feeling that she had done enough already where Rodney's care was concerned, Jennifer had assigned one of the other doctors in her department to look after him. It was her way to try and get him to see that she had no intention of hurting him anymore than anyone else who was only trying to make him healthy. After all, she had not been the one rebreaking his arm or cutting into the side of his chest with a scalpel and draining him of a huge amount of blood, even if he had been unconscious and not known who had carried out the procedures.

She still visited him often, it was quite hard not to, considering she worked in the place where he was recovering. They were the last and only survivors of Planet Whitefall and she felt a stronger link with him than they had had before the disaster.

That was how she found herself standing by his bed one day as his eyelids flickered and narrowly opened. He was still wrapped in loose bandages and the cast would be staying for a few more weeks yet. Jennifer could not help the urge she suddenly got to reach out and touch him to try and comfort away his sorrows. He flinched as she curled her hand around the back on his neck and she smiled down at him until his gaze gradually shifted across towards her. His eyes were confused and hurt as they met hers. His face slowly smoothed out and he closed his eyes.

Jennifer sighed in relief. He did not seem to hate or fear her, or he would have tried to get away from her hands.

Then he suddenly did manage to get some of his faculties back and his eyes snapped open and he whispered something so quietly that Jennifer could not hear. She leant forwards and asked, "Rodney?"

"I said, leave me alone."

Jennifer pulled her hand away as though she had been burned and Rodney turned his face away. He tried to roll over too, but it would have been onto his injured side, so he ended up flinching and panting as he collapsed back down onto his back.

His face was scrunched up in pain, but Jennifer knew where she was not wanted and the rift between them was as vast as an ocean even though she was standing right next to him. Only he could not get away from her. She beckoned over the doctor on duty to ease Rodney's pain and then left before she caused him any more harm.

Rodney gave her a narrow eyed and pain filled look as he mumbled, "At least you've now got your minions torturing me instead of doing the deed yourself." He looked away sadly as he said, "It's a start I suppose..."

Jennifer's hope evaporated and she looked down at the floor as she turned her back on him and slowly walked away.

* * *

Rodney hadn't meant to snap at Jennifer like that. She just reminded him of pain, fear and hopelessness. But he knew that he had to overcome his fear to be with her, because he really _wanted_ to get closer to her, no matter what it took.

He couldn't face another harrowing day of lying there doing nothing as he recovered and people came in to stare at him in pity where he was helpless to get away from them.

As the duty doctor injected something into his IV line and numbness spread through his sore chest and throbbing arm he reached up with his unhurt hand and felt his face. The beard he had been cultivating was gone. He had wanted to shave it off himself when he had recovered. It was a ritual he had even been looking forward to; shedding the growth to show that he was physically and symbolically, mentally healed too. But someone had done it for him while he had been unconscious. He sighed as the doctor walked away and left him to his thoughts.

He soon slipped unconscious again.

When he awoke, his chest was on fire and the conflagration had already spread throughout his right shoulder and all the way down his arm beneath the cast and to his fingertips. He gasped and shuddered.

The infirmary was dark, so it must have been night, but time had no meaning where pain was concerned and his heart monitor was bleeping quickly.

He was forced to beckon someone over to ease the suffering Jennifer had yet again caused in him by denying him any painkillers for far too long. But instead of her, another one of her minions approached, holding a needle and a small bottle.

What was the matter? Wasn't he good enough for her anymore?

The man waved the needle about in a businesslike manner. He was probably not even aware he was doing it, but Rodney was, and his eyes tracked the movement in fright. The man tried to push it into one of the many tubes attached to Rodney, but Rodney pulled away and winced as he uttered, "No."

The man moved in again, but Rodney gritted his teeth and grunted, "Not you."

"But, Dr McKay, I know that you're in pain and this will help."

Rodney narrowed his eyes and muttered, "I know she's here. But she can't hide from me forever!" His body was trembling and weak, and he could feel sweat breaking out on his forehead as the pain intensified with the movement.

The man shrugged and looked angry, "Alright." He muttered as he walked away and Rodney swore that through the rush of blood past his ears and the loud beeping close to his head he heard the words, "Stubborn assed scientists."

He closed his eyes tightly and concentrated on breathing as his heart raced and dizziness and nausea made it feel like the bed was swaying from side to side like a boat in rough seas. After an eternity of pain and fear, the world suddenly started to still and the acid consuming his body from the inside out became less painful. His heart gradually slowed down and he was finally able to breathe properly.

When he opened his eyes, Jennifer was there. She was gazing down at him in concern and she now held the needle in her hand. She placed it on the table nearby and furrowed her brow. Rodney was still jittery and occasional tremors wracked him, but now it was not so bad.

He had to face her as he knew that she had been avoiding him too. He was traumatised by what happened and what she had to do. Although he had a vague memory of her holding onto him tightly, even at the end of the world. After everything they had been through he couldn't just dismiss her or ignore what had happened. And neither could she.

He said the only thing he could think of the break the wall of ice which had formed in the air between them, "Hey."

She still looked sad, "Hey."

"Okay, this is awkward."

A small smile tugged at the corners of Jennifer's mouth and Rodney relaxed a little.

Then she asked, "How're you feeling?"

"Peachy. Which is what's to be expected after being stabbed in the chest by supposed medical '_professionals_.'"

Jennifer said, "Yes, your lung has seen better days." She then lowered her head down and spoke as though she was revealing a massive conspiracy that was only going to ever be shared between them, "Good thing you've got two, eh?"

Rodney glared back at her incredulously and the smile, which had been threatening to be revealed, finally broke and spread across her face. Rodney could not help smiling too as she directed the dazzlingly beautiful expression right at him.

She pointed to one of the vacant chairs permanently stationed by the bed on his uninjured side and asked, "May I?"

"I don't think I have a choice, do I?"

Jennifer grinned at him again and settled herself down. Her expression had become fixed and it was starting to unnerve Rodney. Beyond the initial shock of the smile, he was beginning to see that it seemed to be forced. It was almost like she was not actually all that happy to be there after all.

She looked away and her face crumpled. She quietly asked, "Did you _want_ to die? Is that why you went out there on that last day? To throw it all away and end it?"

"No! Of course not!" A shadow passed over him and he looked away too. "I felt sick and I didn't want to do it in the Jumper. I was tired of you constantly having to be there all the time and I thought I could at least do this one thing on my own."

"And look where it got you! A punctured lung and a haemothorax that nearly killed you!"

"I was going to die anyway…"

"But not like that! I was there, I didn't mind helping you. You saved my life and therefore I was, and still am, in your debt."

He frowned and reached out to her with his left hand. She lifted up her own hand and took it. Rodney held onto her tightly so that she could not get away again.

Her face fell and she asked, "What's wrong? Apart from the obvious."

Rodney tried to pull her hand in closer, but it contorted his chest and even the painkillers she had given him could not fight away the whimper of pain. She quickly became more pliable in his grip and stood up so that she could be pulled along.

He whispered under his breath, "It's alright. You saved me too."

It appeared that she had not heard him though as she continued to move her head nearer to his. He let go of her hand and rested it on the covers beneath him as she loomed over him. She came in very close and suddenly he pushed him free hand down on the bed and forced himself up a short distance. He planted a kiss on her cheek and then collapsed back down with a quiet, "Just returning the favour… Thank you."

Jennifer watched him in shock and he was the one who smiled this time. He closed his eyes and heard her sit down in the chair next to him again. He was deeply tired and through his fading senses he felt a warm hand curl into his again and holding onto him.

He fell asleep feeling much happier than he had done for a long time. Strangely, he even thought he was feeling better than he had been just before that fateful day when Jennifer had brought the ZPM through the gate and started the chain of events he had just lived through.

* * *

Weeks passed and bruises faded. Bones slowly knitted together and what had once been terribly, and seemingly irreparably, damaged tissues mended themselves anew.

Rodney met up with John in the corridor on the way to the science labs one morning. He had been assigned to light duties while his arm was still rendered useless in a cast and tucked into a sling which immobilised his collarbone as much as possible too.

They spoke briefly, John berated some new marines and Rodney grunted in agreement and threw in an occasional, "Yes, the things they are sending to me and calling 'educated' scientists these days are the same."

John suddenly stopped talking and Rodney looked up at him curiously from where he had been concentrating on breathing through the steady tap of his heart against a particularly painful ache in the lower left side of his chest.

John narrowed his eyes as though he was about to drop a bombshell and asked, "Anyway, I've been meaning to ask you this for a while; but what _did_ you do for all that time you were alone with Jennifer on the ice world?"

Rodney narrowed his eyes dangerously, "What are you implying?"

John merely raised his eyebrows mischievously and tilted his head in an, 'I already _know_,' gesture.

Rodney glared and would have folded his arms across himself if one was not already in a cast and strapped over his chest. Instead, all that he could do was lift his chin and reply haughtily, "I'll have you know that I was unconscious for most of the time..."

John smiled, "That good, huh?"

"…_and_ I don't want to talk to anyone about what I do remember. Not any shrink they ship in on the Daedalus and certainly not you."

John's face fell and he looked away, deep in thought. Rodney could hear his breath rattling as he panted in fury. It caused some degree of pain in his chest which made him want to curl up somewhere and tightly clutch a pillow into his abdomen.

John glanced up at him and said, "Alright. So if you were unconscious for such a long time, what _was_ she doing?"

Rodney opened his mouth, but Sheppard held up his hand, "No. You don't have to say anything. Just think about it."

Rodney frowned in confusion. He had never thought about it before. He was going to ask what John meant and what he was implying, but with a quick smirk and a knowing nod, John swiftly walked away and left Rodney to ponder in the wake of his words.

Had Jennifer really watched him for all that time? He knew she had gone to get the engine, but that couldn't have taken all day. There was nothing else that she could have done without any power. He did have a faint memory of hands touching him during the worst of the pain and drawing him a little way out of the mire. If she had wanted to be that close to him, even though he was deeply embarrassed by how much of a pitiful thing he must have been on the ice world after the attack, then maybe she did not just exist to hurt him as he had thought ever since she pushed his arm back into place and made him scream until he passed out.

He reached up and tapped his radio before he could second guess himself and rationalise his way out of it. "McKay to Keller."

Rodney's heart fell when there was no reply for half a second.

"_Rodney! What can I do for you? Are you in any pain? Do you need more painkillers or someone to adjust the sling?"_

He closed his eyes in exasperation. He had already successfully managed to tangle himself up, in great pain, with the sling when he had attempted to gesture with his damaged arm. His broken forearm had not been too bad, because it was in a sturdy cast, but his collarbone had hurt so much that he saw stars. It made him so nauseous that the next thing he knew he was back in the infirmary.

Jennifer had berated him and passed him some more of the strong pain-pills she had made especially for him and nicknamed 'Rodney's Relief.' Although the true name was much longer… She said the pills were a combination of drugs which she had tailored to his requirements to lessen the side effects he so often suffered, which usually upset Rodney's stomach and gave him tummy ache, among other things.

He wished he had not confided Jennifer's initiative in John, because the teasing was now almost unbearable and every time Rodney passed John in the corridor as they went about their daily routines, John would ask, "Has Jennifer invented a Rodney _Repellent_ yet? I'd call that one 'Relief _from_ Rodney.'"

Rodney would grind his teeth and snark back, "No, but she's got a pretty effective Iratus bug repellent made up and ready to go."

That would shut him up with a shudder and Rodney smiled.

Jennifer's next question brought him back to the present. _"Are you still having nightmares and trouble sleeping?"_

"No. Well, yes, but not right this minute, no."

There was a small sigh on the other end of the line. _"Well then, how about someone to take you through the breathing exercises again?"_

Rodney was the one who sighed this time. And flinched. No, he had had his fill of people telling him to breathe deeply to avoid a recurrence of pneumonia.

"Absolutely not."

There was a silence which stretched out between them, and for a moment, Rodney thought that she had gone away, until a quiet and gentle, almost shy, voice asked, _"Well then, what _can_ I do for you, Rodney?"_

"Nothing. No no. N-nothing!" Rodney gabbled and closed his eyes while in his mind he screamed, _damnit!_

_"Mess Hall at seven and then somewhere else for a drink? How does that sound?"_

Rodney's eyes flew open so fast he thought he might have bruised his sockets with his lashes. He composed himself as much as he could, but his voice still broke when he said, "Uh, okay."

_"Great. See you later then."_

She ended the call before he could change his mind or think of an excuse. He was glad though, because that was what he was going to ask, but his stupid nerves had got the better of him. He knew it was madness that he still wanted to speak with her or even just to sit with her in silence as he now realised they had done for many hours on the planet, even though he had not been aware of it.

If she tried to hurt him or get too close, he was stronger now and he still had one working arm to shove her away with.

Maybe he could ask her Sheppard's question? What had she done on the planet? Maybe he could ask her about the end of the world she had witnessed?

Maybe he would just be glad of her company?

He hummed softly as he started to walk up the corridor with a little bounce in his step which had been lacking for the past couple of weeks. He even felt a smile creeping across his face and the muscles ached from disuse for so long. He did not mind that no one saw it or that as the smile widened he felt a black and heavy cloud lifting from his heart and finally allowing it to beat freely in his chest. It felt like he had been weighed down with it for years and in that time it had grown to affect not only his body, but his mind and attitude to the people around him also. As it fell away, he was suddenly filled with thoughts and the whole new multitude of possibilities that had just opened up. New paths appeared before him, dried rivers flowed once more, and his smile spread until a small bubble of joyous laughter escaped him.

He quickly cleared his throat and glanced around warily. It would not do to have people thinking he was insane, or worse, totally soft. He schooled his features as he strode into the lab and started barking out commands and fixing errors before they all ended up as a puddle of metal floating on the ocean.

But perhaps today his voice was less biting and his comments were not so harsh. No one seemed to notice the change in him because no one challenged his authority more than usual or mentioned that he was letting his guard down and not behaving like himself.

Maybe they would, given time, but for the first time in his life, he did not mind.

* * *

_The End_

_A/N – and the rest, as they say, is history… or the future… or is simply answered in canon…_

_Thanks for reading and for all your lovely comments! I have struggled with finding the time (and being awake enough) to write this due to the three hour commute to work every day so it means a lot that my tiredness hasn't been in vain!_


End file.
